


I Fuck You To Fuck You Over

by kyoselflove



Series: IFYTFYO Universe [1]
Category: Jrock, the GazettE
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Angst, Asphyxiation, Blood, Blow Jobs, Breathplay, Cheating, Come Eating, Come Shot, Complicated Relationships, Crossdressing, Depression, Double Anal Penetration, Drama, Drug Use, Drug-Induced Sex, Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Face Punching, Face-Fucking, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Masochism, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Multiple Partners, Multiple Relationships, Phone Sex, Polyamory, Romance, Rough Sex, Sadism, Secret Relationship, Sex, Threesome - M/M/M, Violence, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-05
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-02-16 05:27:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 53,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2257503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyoselflove/pseuds/kyoselflove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reita and Uruha have been in a long relationship but lately it hasn't been what it used to be.  Reita tries to find a way to rekindle their love but Uruha doesn't approve of his methods.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

To say he was tired was an understatement. He was exhausted. Not only with work, but with his love life and everything in general. Reita stared blankly at the dark coffee as he stirred it. Here was to starting another day with the same bullshit. Already he could feel a headache coming, he hoped the coffee would ease it away.

Just then his lover of ten years, Uruha, walked into the kitchen, disregarding Akira completely as he poured his own cup of coffee. This was how it was every morning, for far too long. No more did they greet each other or share a morning kiss. They drank their coffee in silence and went their different ways.

It was hard for him to remember how long this had actually been happening or when it all started. But he knew for sure it had been for over a year. Reita didn’t know what he had done to deserve this. He thought they were happy. Now they were nothing but roommates. 

He let out a sigh as he heard the front door shut. “Bye.” Reita muttered as he took a sip of his cold coffee.

Soon Reita was off to work, which was a well paying but boring office job. All he did all day was file papers and listen to his co-workers talk about how much pussy they were getting. He ignored most of them except for Kai, the only one who wasn’t so vulgar but the complete opposite.

Because of his ill-mannered co-workers no one at the office knew about his relationship with Uruha. Not even Kai. He just never felt he had to tell Kai about him. Maybe they all thought he was a loner or asexual, he didn’t really care. 

“Hey Kai.” He waved to the man in his cubicle before sitting in his own.

Kai came over leaning on the wall, “You okay Reita? You don’t look so good.”

Reita pinched the bridge of his nose, “Just tired.”

Kai came into his cubicle and sat down on his desk, “Maybe you should have called in.” He rested his hand on Reita’s shoulder.

“Then I would call in everyday.” He let out a dry chuckle. Kai looked at him with sad eyes before returning to his small office.

The hours seem to go by slower when he was at work, by lunchtime he was physically and emotionally drained. He took Kai’s advice and left work early.

Though when he arrived home he wished he had stayed. Immediately as he walked in he heard Uruha moan, for a moment he figured maybe he was just relieving himself. The last time they had sex was months ago, or was it a year? It sure felt like a year. But he stopped all his movements when he heard another groan along with a husky voice that was indeed not Uruha’s. 

Reita clenched his fists at his sides, he was beyond angry. He slammed open the door to his, their, bedroom. The sight shattered his heart into pieces. Uruha on all fours on their bed getting brutally fucked by some asshole, Reita had never seen before. His first reaction was to use his clenched fist, which collided hard against unknown asshole’s face.

“Reita!” He barely heard Uruha’s cry to him. He was to fixated on his jealous rage, which was bashing in the asshole’s face. He continued to hit the guy until his lover pulled him off. He pushed Uruha away from him, hard enough that he fell to the floor.

“Get the fuck off me!” Reita screamed out, he felt nauseous. He was more than disgusted at what he had seen; now he wished he hadn’t taken Kai’s advice. He pointed to the naked asshole on the floor, “You! Get the fuck out of my house!”

The man scrambled around the room gathering his clothes, his face dripping blood from the wounds Reita had inflicted. Finally he was gone, Reita ripped the sheets off the bed throwing them to the floor next to Uruha, who sat there quietly sobbing into his knees.

He sat down on the bare mattress, trying to catch his breath. The bile in his throat found its way back down, thankfully. Reita looked over at Uruha, who fell silent with his head resting on his knees that were pulled up to his chest, still naked. After a few silent moments, Reita spoke up softly, “Take a shower.”

Reita thought that his lover would tell him to go fuck himself but Uruha stood up without a word and headed to the bathroom. Reita observed Uruha’s naked body; it was still beautiful as he remembered. But he also saw bruises on his narrow hips, which made him feel sick all over again.

While Uruha was in the shower, he dumped the soiled sheets in the trash, never wanting to see them again. Then placed clean sheets on their bed, he laid down in his suit, not bothering to change. Fuck he was so worn-out. 

His eyes fluttered open, he must of fell asleep. The room was dark, when he tried to move he felt something heavy on him. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could see that it was Uruha, sleeping on his chest, holding his shirt in a tight grip. He hadn’t felt this in awhile. Reita pulled Uruha closer which roused him out of his sleep.

All the anger he felt earlier simply vanished as he looked into those beautiful eyes. He couldn’t help himself as he lifted Uruha’s face and kissed him. It was quick, he felt Uruha sigh against his lips. Then Reita realized he felt nothing, when Uruha and him used to kiss, he felt flutters in his stomach and his love for him pouring out. Now there was absolutely nothing and that frightened him.

“What happened to us?” Reita asked, as he rubbed Uruha’s back.

“I don’t know.” Uruha buried his face back into Reita’s chest, “I’m so sorry.”

Reita couldn’t stay mad at Uruha even though his lover just broke his heart. Maybe Reita had done the same to him in a way, he thought that he was the only one suffering in this relationship but he was wrong. He didn’t want to loose Uruha; there was no other choice in his mind. He had to find that feeling again with him.

“Please don’t leave me, Reita.” 

Surprised by what Uruha said, he let himself think. Of course he wasn’t going to leave but if Uruha didn’t want him to; why the fuck was he fucking a guy in their bed? 

“Why did you do it?” Reita whispered.

Uruha moved his head to look up at Reita, “I just wanted to feel again.”

Reita understood what he meant but it still pissed him off. He wondered if he could ever forgive Uruha. Fuck this, he wanted to go back to sleep. As hard as he could, he tried to clear his mind so he could drift off to sleep.

***

When he woke up in the morning, Uruha was already gone. He didn’t know if he should let it worry him. After doing his morning routine he left for work.

Kai was quick to come check on him, “You don’t look any better.”

“Thanks, Kai.” Reita said sarcastically. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kai asked with concern.

Reita thought that maybe this could be a good thing, to get his mind off Uruha and their problems. “Yeah, do you want to get a drink with me after work?”

His co-worker looked surprised but said, “Sure, that would be great.” Then he smiled showing off his dimples, which Reita thought were cute.

Like usual time went slowly as he finished tedious tasks. When the time finally arrived Kai and Reita walked down the street from their office to an ordinary bar. Reita held the door open for Kai, which made him blush, and Reita couldn’t help but feel an attraction to the sweet man. They settled at a small booth away from the crowd, both ordering a beer. Kai was still blushing and let out a nervous laugh, “Is this a date, Reita?” 

Reita hadn’t really meant it to be a date but if Kai didn’t mind, then he would actually enjoy as if it were a date. “Do you want it to be?” He said through a sly grin.

Kai smiled shyly, “I would like that but why now? We’ve know each other for years.”

“I don’t know.” Reita took a sip of his beer and smiled. He was beginning to imagine Kai and him together and it was arousing. His lack of sex could have been the problem but he believed he was becoming extremely attracted to Kai. Reita thought, he never asked Kai on a date before because obviously he was with Uruha, but he didn’t tell Kai that. He never looked at other men because he was with Uruha but now he didn’t really care. It felt nice to have some attention.

Kai chuckled, “I knew you were gay. That’s why you never talk to anyone else.”

“Yeah, plus they are a bunch of idiots.” That made Kai laugh more.

They started their second beers. “So Reita, what do you do for fun?”

Reita almost laughed, this was the most fun he had in months. “Video gaming mostly. Don’t really have time for anything else. What about you?”

“Aw, you would make time for me, right?” Kai giggled. Reita wondered if he was already drunk off two beers. Kai continued, “I like to cook, I should cook you dinner sometime!”

“That sounds wonderful, been awhile since I have had a home cooked meal.” Reita rubbed his stomach he was hungry now.

“Maybe I should cook you dinner tonight?” Kai looked at him, hopeful.

“Yes, I’m starving!” Reita said throwing some bills on the table as they both stood.

Together they took a cab to Kai’s apartment, once inside, he saw how clean everything in the apartment was. Kai immediately went into the kitchen grabbing them both beers and gathered some ingredients from the fridge. As he leaned against the counter, he thought about what he was doing. Now he knew, he really wanted to have sex with Kai but he didn’t know how this was going to work. He couldn’t just fuck him and then go to work and be like, hey. 

Kai was pouring noodles into water on the stove, and then covered them to let them cook. He turned and grinned at Reita, “I’m happy you’re here.” Oh fuck, Reita thought.

Reita took a much-needed sip of his beer then smiled. “Me too.”

Kai, with red tinged cheeks and those damn cute dimples, came closer acting all shy. In which, Reita just grabbed him, pushing their lips together. Kai moved his lips slowly against his, Reita hugged him tight and then the kiss ended.

Kai looked at him with a wide smile, pointing at the stove, “I don’t want to burn the food…” 

Then Reita realized he was holding him in a firm embrace. “Oh, right. Sorry!” He released Kai and sat at the tiny table in the kitchen. Kai came over with a plate of noodles that smelled good. 

“I hope you enjoy it!” Kai said happily.

Both of them ate, while talking about work but whenever Kai asked about his personal life, he tried to give vague answers. After dinner, Reita was in Kai’s bed kissing him desperately. He was turned on so much, that he had to stop himself multiple times from having an orgasm, which was embarrassing. 

Reita slowed down, breaking their kiss and dry humping for a moment. “Fuck.” He caught his breath. “Not going to lie, it has been awhile.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Kai said smiling, his back against the bed with Reita on top of him.

Resuming their kiss, Reita couldn’t help but love the taste of him. The taste he couldn’t describe, it was something unknown, forbidden and just simply Kai. He couldn’t help but compare Kai’s kisses to Uruha’s. Kai was a clumsy kisser but not bad, although he missed Uruha’ s lips. He felt Kai unbuckle and unzip his pants, slipping his hand into his boxers. 

Reita did the same to Kai, both of them stroking one another. Kai’s hand on his cock felt amazing, he never wanted the feeling to end. He moaned against Kai’s lips as he came rather quickly, like he knew he would. While riding out his orgasm, he could feel Kai’s own release on his hand.

“Wow.” Kai said panting. Reita knew that was a good wow, and felt his lips turning up. 

“We should definitely do this again.” Reita said after they both had cleaned up and were lying on Kai’s bed. He moved to get off the bed, “I should go now though.”

“Why don’t you stay the night?” Kai asked rubbing his eyes.  
“I can’t tonight, maybe some other time?” Reita said, hoping Kai wouldn’t push it any further.

Kai smiled sadly, “Sure thing.”

Reita leaned down to give him a reassuring kiss. “See you at work tomorrow.”

“Yeah, goodnight.” He gave a small wave and let himself out. He took a cab home; by the time he got there it was one in the morning. 

When he opened the door everything was dark, he figured Uruha was already asleep or maybe not even home. As soon as he entered their bedroom, he heard his lover’s shaken voice, “Where have you been?” The light flicked on.

“What does it matter?” Reita scoffed, taking off his clothes, as he got ready for bed.

“You’re never home this late.” Uruha was siting up in bed with the bedside lamp on.

“Honestly Uruha, I don’t want to fucking hear it.” Reita was starting to get pissed. He felt Uruha had no right to demand where he was when his lover was fucking someone else in their bed not to long ago.

“Can we just talk about—” 

“No.” Reita interrupted him as he lay down facing away from his lover.

Uruha gave up, turning off the light. They were far apart from each other, both facing away. Reita felt his heart aching but couldn’t help it. He knew that what Uruha had done was wrong but he did the same thing, almost. And it made him feel guilty to the point where he couldn’t hold him. Even though he wanted too more than anything.


	2. Chapter 2

Uruha sat down at the familiar booth in the tiny café, which was not a far walk from his home. The décor was horrid and the food mediocre, but still it held a nostalgic value. He picked up the menu looking at the items that he already knew by heart. His nerves were getting the better of him when finally the other man sat in front of him.

“Sorry, I’m late.” 

“Oh my god, Aoi, your face.” Uruha said sadly as he looked at the swollen and bruised flesh. With an arm extended, he wanted to comfort the ugly blemish, but reluctantly he pulled away. His heart became heavy with regret.

“Uruha, don’t worry about it.” Aoi grabbed his hand and held it.

Uruha bit his lip, retreating his hand on to his lap. “Maybe, we shouldn’t see each other anymore.”

“Baby, please don’t say that.” Aoi looked at him heartbroken. Of course, they had been seeing each other for over a year. Uruha could feel his own heart splitting in two.

“I love Reita, I want me and him to work.” He said, playing with his fingers in his lap.

“Really? That’s news to me. He’s an asshole, why bother? You should just leave him already.” Aoi scoffed.

“Aoi, that’s not fair—” Uruha stopped as he saw the waitress approach.

“You guys want the—” She looked at Aoi’s face, “Are you okay? What happened?”

Aoi waved his hand, “I’m fine, and yes we will get the usual.” Completely ignoring her other question. 

When the waitress wrote down their order and left, Uruha tried to explain again. “Things are different now. I think he’s cheating on me.”

The abrupt laughing made Uruha look away from his hands and stare at Aoi. He realized what he said was stupid, but it still hurt.

“So now, that you think he is cheating on you. You want to break it off with me and then be with him. What, happily ever after?”

“I didn’t say it would be happily ever after, I just want it to be like it used to be.”

“So, even if you have to be miserable, like you already are, you don’t care as long as you two,” Lifting his hands up, mimicking quotation marks, “Work.”

Their food arrived; Uruha picked at it, having lost his appetite. He had to stop being selfish, if he wanted his relationship with Reita to work, he had to let Aoi go. When Reita came home late that night, he had never felt such heartache. That man was like clockwork always following the same routines everyday. Then out of nowhere, he shows up late in the morning. Uruha knew that Reita had spent time with someone else. Secretly he hoped it was just with a friend, but Reita didn’t really have any friends.

“Uruha, stop thinking.” Aoi waved his chopsticks in front of Uruha’s face. “Leave him and be with me.” 

“No, I love him.” This whole conversation with Aoi was beginning to get on his nerves.

“You keep saying that but does he love you?” Aoi shot back.

“If he didn’t love me, maybe your face wouldn’t be busted!” He snapped.

Aoi just nodded his head and leaned back into the booth. Uruha wanted to apologize but instead they both sat there in silence until the check came. When the waitress put their bill on the table, Aoi was quick to take it. “Don’t need him paying for my meal.”

“Real mature Aoi.” He stood up; irritated he headed out of the café. 

Just as he got out on to the street, he felt a hand grab his arm pulling him back. Then he was pulled against Aoi’s chest. A quick kiss was placed on his lips; the feeling of wanting to kiss back was strong. But instead, he savored the moment of contact and then gently pushed the other away. “I’m sorry.” Then he walked away and Aoi let him go.

At home, it was empty and quiet, like it usually was. One in the afternoon, Reita was still at work and that left Uruha alone, so he cleaned the house. Earlier today, he didn’t manage to sell any of his paintings, which only left him feeling more dependent on Reita. Uruha decided that tonight he would cook Reita dinner and tell him that he was done with Aoi. Then they could move pass this and return back to how they were.

In no way was he a good cook, but he figured it would taste somewhat decent. Deciding to go with hamburger steak with a sauce. It was simple and delicious, or at least he thought so. Five o’clock was approaching as he set the table. Reita should be here any minute, so he sat and waited.

Just before six, he had enough and pulled out his phone to call Reita.

“Hello?”

“Reita, where are you? I cooked dinner…” Uruha tried not to sound too desperate, but felt he was failing miserably. 

“You? Cooked? Is the house still standing?”

“Haha, very funny. Are you going to be home soon?” He walked over to the oven, to heat up the food. The joking attitude from Reita made his heart flutter, enjoying the interaction.

“I was going out for a drink but now I’m curious about how your cooking tastes.”

Uruha pushed the thought of Reita drinking with someone else away from his mind and let out a giggle, “Okay, see you soon?”

“Be there in fifteen.” And with that he hung up. Uruha wondered when the last time they said ‘I love you’ to each other.

While he let the food heat up, he checked his appearance in the bathroom. Styling his hair with a spray of Reita’s favorite cologne. Approving of his looks, he walked back into the kitchen to pull out the food before it over cooked. The door opened as he put the hamburger on the table.

“Hey.” Reita entered the dining room. “Actually smells good.” He said with a smirk.

Uruha went up to him, feeling shy as if they were on their first date and kissed him on the lips quickly. He blushed as he glanced at Reita’s shocked expression. “Come on and eat.”

During dinner they were quiet, except for Reita’s remarks about how his food actually tasted good. With quick glances at his lover, Uruha tried to figure out a way to start the conversation he was dreading.

“I’m sorry about Aoi.” Uruha started, playing with the left over rice on his plate. “I’m not going to see him again.”

Reita looked at him, “How can I believe that?”

Uruha felt his heart clench tightly in his chest. He didn’t know how to answer that question. Knowing that Reita wouldn’t believe him, he no longer had his lover’s trust. Even though they have been distant lately, now he could feel himself loosing Retia.

When Uruha said nothing, Reita cleared his throat. “Maybe, we should see other people. I’m guessing Aoi is the asshole fucking you.”

Eyes widening in disbelief, Uruha cringed at the words. “What do you mean see other people? You’re breaking up with me?”

“No, I mean you keep seeing your asshole and I will see whoever I want. I think it would help us.” Reita said standing up and putting their dirty dishes in the sink.

“I told you, I’m not seeing him anymore!” Desperately trying to hold back his tears, he continued. “And you are already seeing someone, aren’t you?”

He took Reita’s silence as a yes, even though he already knew. He just hoped that his lover would deny it. A tear found its way down his cheek, he quickly wiped it away. “How could this possibly help us?” Now he was crying freely, not caring anymore.  
A sob was muffled as Reita’s lips covered his own. Working like magic, his tears dried up as he eagerly responded to the kiss. Reita grabbed the back of his thighs, lifting him up he carried him to the counter, knocking off a pot and spices in the process. The loud clanking of the items crashing to the floor went unnoticed as Uruha wrapped his long legs around Reita, grinding into him.

A loud moan erupted from him as Reita sucked on his neck, sure to leave a mark. His heart was pounding in his chest, while his body shook, he held on to Reita’s shoulder tightly. Hot breath on his ear sent a chill down his body, “See?” His lover’s voice went straight to his cock, making it twitch in anticipation. 

They continued their grinding and frantic kisses all over each other, until Uruha couldn’t take it anymore. His hands went to the zipper on Reita’s dress pants; he fumbled with it until finally he managed to pull his pants down which Reita kicked off his legs. Uruha grabbed his lover’s hardening length, giving it a hard squeeze. The response he got was Reita, yanking his head back by his hair roughly, then him biting on his top lip before giving him a quick kiss.

Uruha disposed of his clothing with lightning speed, then went to unbutton Reita’s dress shirt. Reita rubbed their bare erections together making him gasp out loud, feeling as though he would come any moment. “Reita, fuck. Please, I need you.”

Reita pulled him off the counter, turning him around; he was shoved against it, bending over. He heard his lover walk away, a breeze of could air brushed against his bare ass making him shake with excitement as he waited for Reita to come back. When his lover returned he felt his now lubed cock push into him. Immediately he rocked his hips back wanting more. Reita replied with a hard shove, going deeper, the way he kept up with slow rough thrusts left Uruha wanting more.

The thrusts became quicker; Reita whispered into his ear, “I’ve missed this so much.” With the combination of the words and his lover’s actions, it made his pleasure build up, he could feel his orgasm coming closer. Uruha stroked himself as he was pounded into, coming on his hand quickly. Letting his head fall on to the counter as he felt Reita release deep inside of him. A sensation that he had forgotten, it made him feel amazing, he was Reita’s. The cock that was buried inside him slid out, letting Reita’s seed trail down his thigh. Turning around to face Reita, he winced as a sharp pain went through his backside; he loved the affect that rough sex left him, a reminder of what they had done.

“Seems to be helping perfectly.” Reita mocked and threw a towel at him.

Uruha cleaned himself up, hesitantly he said, “Please don’t cheat on me again.”

The reaction he got was to be expected, Reita laughed out loud, placing a hand over his naked chest in sarcasm. “First of all, you started this. Second, look on the bright side. We finally had sex again.” 

“Are you listening to yourself? You just stated you are going to continue to cheat on me.” Uruha gaped at him, suddenly feeling self conscious, he tried to cover his naked body the best he could with his hands.

Again Reita laughed, “Uruha.” He walked up to him. “You should be happy. Now you can continue to see that asshole.”

“His name is Aoi, I told you we were over.” He said through clenched teeth.

“Oh that’s right, not only were you cheating on me but you were having a fucking boyfriend on the side.” Standing a few inches away from him, Reita lit a cigarette, both still completely naked.

“Can we just go to bed?” Plucking the cigarette from his lover’s mouth, he took a puff of it, savoring the taste.

“Hell no. You wanted to talk, so lets talk.” Reita grabbed his smoke back, taking a hit before putting it out in the kitchen sink. Gathering his clothes off the floor, Uruha put them back on, while his lover chose to stay butt naked. “Why did you start a relationship with asshole?”

Sitting down at the table, they both stared at each other until Uruha finally spoke up. “I was lonely! You would always completely ignore me unless you wanted to fuck.”

“Bullshit. I do everything for you Uruha.” Absolutely unfazed by his words, Reita looked at him, waiting for an answer.

“When was the last time we went out on a date? You just treat me like a whore.” Uruha could feel his throat closing, not really wanting to continue this conversation.

“Are you saying you didn’t like the sex we just had?” Reita gestured to the counter where they had just fucked.

“Reita you are so dense! It was amazing but I want more than just sex Reita. I want you to love me.” Uruha gave up; he stood and walked to their bedroom.

As he lay down on the bed, Reita came in and jumped on it, making Uruha scowl. “What are you doing?”

“I do love you Uruha. You should know that.” Reita snuggled to him underneath the covers.

Uruha sighed, enjoying the cuddling. “I love you too.”

The words were nice to exchange but he still couldn’t help but feel jealous about Reita and the other man he was seeing. He wanted to know more but it felt weird to ask his lover about it. So many questions left unanswered, he wondered if it was a one-time thing or if he had someone like Aoi was to him. Here he was, thinking about whom his lover was having sex with, how did it come to this? Though he was glad that Reita wasn’t going to leave him, but he still couldn’t believe that Reita would continue to see another man on the side. This was his fault and somehow he had to fix it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are love <3


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Reita woke up feeling refreshed and great for the first time in, forever it seemed. Uruha was in his arms, he felt himself smiling. Though it was nice to have Uruha back, or so it would seem. He couldn’t stop thinking about Kai, he wondered if Uruha was dreaming about that asshole. Groaning, he untangled their limbs and got out of bed. Realizing he was still naked, he threw on some pajama pants that were thrown on the floor. It was finally the weekend, so he didn’t have to worry about work. Finding his phone that was abandoned in his work suit the night before, he noticed that he had a new message.

Hope everything is all right. Can’t wait to see you again! The text was sent after he came home last night. Automatically after reading the text, a smile crept on to his face. Though in a moment it was gone when he thought about Uruha in their bed. Reita couldn’t believe that his lover was still here; even more shocking was that they had sex. 

“Hey.” Uruha’s voice was hesitant, sitting up the bed; he ran a hand through his messy hair. “Do you have…” He cleared his throat. “Any plans tonight?”

Reita thought for a moment about what he wanted to do. He could spend his evening with Uruha or he could go out with Kai. Ignoring Uruha, he pulled out his phone again, sending a text to Kai. What are you doing tonight?

His lover fell back on the bed with a sigh, “Seriously Reita? You are going to text your fling in front of me?”

“Didn’t we already agree on all this last night?”

Uruha stared at him in disbelief, “Are you serious? I don’t agree with this at all! What makes you think I want you seeing someone else?”

“I didn’t get that option now did I?” He snapped, now he decided that he would definitely hang out with Kai if his co-worker had nothing better to do. Uruha was already getting on his nerves and he had been up a total of thirty minutes, or at least that was what he tried to justify in his head to shift the guilt. Disregarding the heart broken look on Uruha’s face, he left the room.

Nothing, do you want to do something? ^^ Reita read the text with a small smile. Just what he needed, a good time, away from his lover. Quickly, he typed out a reply, on meeting at a nice restaurant later that night, as in a romantic date.

“Reita…” Looking at Uruha who came up behind him, he looked gorgeous with after night sex hair and biting his lip. “Do you really want me to see Aoi?” Dark brown eyes looked at him seriously.

Feeling his jealous anger boil inside of him, he reluctantly nodded, “Yes.” Immediately after saying it, he wished the words would retract themselves.

“If that’s what you want.” Uruha’s voice was quiet, and then he stepped back into their bedroom.

A buzz indicated he had a new message, grabbing his phone out of his pocket he read the text. I would love too! See you at 5 ^^

Deciding to dress himself, he walked inside his room only to find Uruha curled up on bed, texting. Pushing away the ache in his chest, he continued to his wardrobe to put on clean clothes, a shower could wait until later tonight. Glancing at Uruha again, he figured his lover was texting Asshole. What should he care? He told him too anyways.

Moving into their master bathroom, he looked in the mirror, trying to make himself presentable. Dark rings layered underneath his eyes but he ignored them, putting a glop of gel in his hair, shaping into a somewhat natural style. After spraying a good amount of cologne over his body, he pondered on what to do.

Joining Uruha back in their spacious room, he sat on the edge of the bed. His lover still on his phone, Reita rubbed Uruha’s leg through the sheets. “I love you.” It felt weird to say, even though he had said it many times before. His brain was trying to catch up to speed on what was actually happening. Finding your lover in bed with another man, going on a date with a coworker, and then telling your lover to date said Asshole. 

Brushing it aside, Reita decided to focus on Kai tonight, but not before Uruha’s voice rang out. “I love you too.” Closing his flip phone, Uruha looked into Reita’s eyes.

“Do you want to play Street Fighter?” Reita asked casually.

Shaking off his covers, Uruha stood and stretched, “Okay, only if I get to play Chun-Li. You know I love her killer thighs.” Giving a chuckle, Uruha went into the living room where their gaming systems resided, Reita following.

“Of course. How could I ever forget your weird obsession with thighs?” Reita scoffed, grabbing two controllers, handing one two Uruha, he put in the game. As it loaded, they settled on to the couch, Uruha snuggling into Reita, which he whole heartily welcomed. It had been awhile since they had done anything like this and Reita made sure to enjoy every minute of it.

Making his selection of his own character he heard Uruha sigh against his shoulder. “Ken, really?”

“What’s wrong with Ken?” Thinking to himself in amusement, he picked that character on purpose, knowing Uruha hated him.

“I know you picked him so I could easily kick your ass.” Uruha laughed, smiling wide, the same smile that Reita had fallen in love with so many years ago. “You think you are good, but I am too!” His lover whined.

“I know, I know! Just trying to take it easy on you. It’s been awhile.” Reita flashed his own smirk.

On screen Chun-Li did kick Ken’s ass, multiple times. Reita glanced at the clock seeing it was almost noon. “You hungry? How bout some take out?” Reita asked as Uruha shifted on the couch away from him, setting the controller down on the floor.

“Take out as in Chinese or pizza?” Uruha pressed his lips together, batting his eyelashes.

“Whatever you want baby.” Reita soothed, bringing out his phone ready to dial the number of Uruha’s favorite pizza parlor. 

“Pizza then!” His lover exclaimed excitingly. Ordering Uruha his favorite, ham and pineapple while making the other half just pepperoni, they cuddled back on to the couch as they waited. “You done kicking my ass?”

“Yeah, let’s watch a movie.” Reita nodded, bringing Uruha to rest against his chest once he was done inserted some random movie, knowing him, probably a romantic comedy. Reita had to endure for Uruha’s sake, but he really fucking hated romantic comedies. 

Reita couldn’t remember the last time him and Uruha cuddled on the couch. It was a nice to be able to feel like this again, he sighed contently, Uruha snuggling into the crook of his neck. To Reita the movie played on as background noise, busying himself with Uruha’s scent and warmth. Pulling his head away slightly so he could look down at Uruha, he took a hold of his lover’s chin lifting his face, placing his lips to those bowed shaped ones. Uruha instantly moved his lips against his, gasping lightly, the warmth breath on Reita’s lips made him shudder.

A knock on the door ruined their moment; Reita detached himself from Uruha to answer the door. Paying the pizza delivery guy, Reita walked back to the living room, setting the cardboard box on the table. Uruha dove in immediately, smiling wide when he saw the steaming pizza inside. “I love pizza!” He said in a chipper voice, taking in a mouthful of hot pizza.

“Uruha—” Before he could warn him, his lover yelped, fanning his mouth with a pout. “It’s hot.”

“Why do I always do that?” Getting a drink of water, he downed the glass in an attempt to soothe his burnt tongue. “Damn.”

“Cause you’re a dork.” Reita’s remark only made Uruha pout more.

After letting the pizza cool down, they ate it quietly while watching the horrible movie that Uruha had chosen. Deciding on to be lazy, they continued to watch another film, a horror this time, and more Reita’s style. As time went by, Reita could hear soft snores coming from his lover. Pulling out his phone, he read the time, almost time for his date.

Gently nudging the man sleeping on him, he voiced, “Uruha, wake up.”

Sleepily rubbing his eyes, Uruha removed himself off Reita’s chest. “What time is it?”

“Time for me to go.” Reita said nonchalantly. 

“Yeah,” Uruha stood up, his said bitterly, “Don’t want to be late for your date.”

Choosing to ignore Uruha’s statement, he proceeded to get ready and put his shoes on. He would be lying if he didn’t think it was weird, giving Uruha a goodbye kiss, just before going on his date with Kai. Either way he did it anyway, Uruha barely moving his lips back to meet his.

Leaving his home, he drove to the restaurant where he was to meet Kai. When he entered, he saw his date already sitting at a table, waving him over. Before sitting down across him, Reita gave him a peck on the cheek, Kai’s face flushing red at the gesture.

“Hey.” Reita said smirking.

“Hey.” Kai said still blushing, “It’s nice to see you again.” Turning even redder, “I mean, outside of work.”

Reita smiled, mentally noting how adorable and shy Kai was being. “It is. Have you ever been here before?”

Shaking his head, Kai looked over the menu, “No, have you?” 

“No but I heard it was good. Has a little bit of everything from around the world.” Deciding on a pasta dish, he placed the menu down on the table.

“Think I’ll get fettuccine alfredo.” Kai replied.

“That’s what I was going to get.” Reita let out a laugh, thinking this was a scene from one of those corny romantic films Uruha was always watching. There he was again, thinking about Uruha while he was out romancing another man.

“That’s funny, we must have good taste.” His date chuckled. Soon the waiter came by to take their order, Kai ordered a glass of wine, while Reita ordered a draft beer.

“Beer with pasta? That’s interesting.” Kai laughed a bit as the waiter walked away, taking their menus.

“What am I supposed to drink with pasta?” Reita asked, genuinely puzzled.

“Usually wine.” Kai bit his lip to hold back another chuckle.

“Oh, but I always drink beer.” Giving a shrug, he would never understand fine dining.

As they waited for their food, both of them continued with small talk. Once it arrived, both of them eagerly ate at their dishes. “So…” Kai started, taking a sip of his wine. “Are we officially dating?”

Swallowing the food in his mouth, he fidgeted in his seat a bit, not sure on how to answer that. The images of Uruha and Asshole came to his mind. “Do you want to be?”

Nodding shyly, Kai said, “I would like that.”

“Okay then.” Reita was never good at these kinds of things, plus the fact he hadn’t dated anyone in over ten years, he was a little bit rusty. Kai smiled at him wide, showing off his dimples. The waiter came back with the check, which Reita took before Kai could grab it.

“You made me dinner last time, so it’s my turn.” Reita said, seeing Kai’s face.

“Fair enough.” 

Leaving the restaurant, they walked to their cars, standing in the parking lot. Kai shifted on his feet, before giving Reita a quick kiss on the lips. Noticing how much Kai bit his lips and blushed, made Reita think of how much he wanted the man.

“Do you want to come over?” Kai asked quietly, eyes wide.

“I’d love too.” Smiling, Reita said, capturing those lips one more time before they went to their separate cars and headed to Kai’s apartment.

Standing in the hallway, in front of Kai’s door, his urge to take the man was overpowering him. As his fellow coworker, now strangely newly acquired boyfriend fumbled to find his keys, Reita stood behind him, pressing his already hardening clothed erection against the curve of Kai’s ass. Rubbing himself on Kai, his lips begged to taste the sweet skin, trailing down Kai’s neck, he licked and kissed until he reached the cloth of Kai’s shirt. 

“Oh god, Reita.” Kai whimpered, finally finding his keys, he shoved them into the door, unlocking it.

Both them tumbled inside as they kicked off their shoes, Reita throwing off his own shirt. Kai doing the same, closing the distance between each other again, lips clashing together in a desperate attempt to taste one another. Pushing Kai against the wall of his foyer, still ravishing those delicious lips, he removes his pants while Kai removes his own.

Grabbing Kai’s ass, he lifts him up against the wall, strong legs wrapping around him, while Kai’s arms draped over his shoulders. Greedily kissing Kai again, Reita stroked the pre cum from the tip of his cock down to the base, coating his erection with the substance. 

Moving away from Kai’s swollen lips, he rested his head against the wall as he placed his throbbing cock at Kai’s entrance. Through the blonde strands of his hair, he glanced at Kai for approval. Kai shuddered, nodding, “Please.” He whimpered.

Not needing to be told again, Reita bucked his hips up, pushing inside, feeling the heat constricting on his cock. He moaned loudly as he began to thrust deeper. The tightness was overwhelming, nothing compared to Uruha, and he was beginning to wonder if Kai had ever done this before.

Biting his lip hard, Kai let out another whimper, tightening his hold on Reita’s neck. “Fuck me, god Reita, fuck me.” Reita did just that, pounded into the man hard and fast, acting as if he was just a horny teenager. He felt nails digging into his back, hard enough to leave marks. Oddly, Reita enjoyed the sensations they left behind.

“Bite my neck.” Kai whined, guiding Reita’s head to the curve of his neck. Breathing in the scent of Kai, he let his tongue graze over the flesh, before giving a light nibble. “Harder.” Pressing his teeth into the skin harder but not enough to break the skin, his thrusts slowly momentarily. 

Soon picking up the pace again when Kai’s avidly grinded on his cock, wanting more. “Bite me as hard as you can.” Kai managed out between gasps. Scraping his teeth along his neck again, he clamped down hard, earning a loud moan to come from Kai. The man was shuddering, tightening around his cock, with another moan and gasp; Reita felt a gush of hot cum splatter against his abs. “Oh god, cum in me Reita.” 

A metallic taste entered his mouth; he released Kai’s neck only to find it bleeding. The image arousing him, with another jerk of his hip he spilled his own cum deep inside of Kai. Resting his head on the wall, he let go of Kai’s ass, feeling himself slip out of the other man as he stepped to the floor.

Reita didn’t even know what to say, that was some mind-blowing sex. But he never expected Kai to be like that; he was in a state of shock. Sex with Kai was completely different then the sex he had with Uruha. Reita always liked rough sex, although he barely had any with Uruha. Now he was sure that Kai was exactly what he needed.

Kai smiled lazily, still in a dreamy state, “You’re spending the night, right?”

“Sure thing, baby.” Reita said, giving Kai a kiss on the lips. Picking up his clothes, he made his way into the bathroom, closing the door softly with a click. Digging through his pants, he texted Uruha. Don’t wait up.

Guilt clenched on to his heart, he couldn’t type out a simple, I love you. Clicking Send, he shoved the phone back into the pocket of his pants, not expecting a reply. A knock on the door made him jump slightly. Opening the door, he saw Kai standing in the door way already dressed in pajamas. “You coming to bed or taking a shower?”

“I’m coming.” Reita gave a slightly forced smile, hoping Kai didn’t notice.


	4. Chapter 4

After receiving the text that Reita had chosen to spend his night with his newly affiliated lover instead of him, he just curled up under the sheets of his otherwise vacant bed. The heartache being too much to bear, he cried himself to sleep. Uruha would never had thought it would go this far, what if Reita was falling in love with this new guy?

When he heard Reita come into the apartment at around ten in the morning, he avoided him, which was fairly easy considering his lover fell on the bed fully clothed and passed out. Great, now he had to compete with a sex champion. What else could it be that Reita was so tired from? Obviously not talking. 

Not wanting to dwell on it any longer, he put on a pair of sunglasses to hide the display of his sore and puffy eyes. Then he was out the door on a mission, to the library. Surely, there would be at least one book that could help his situation. Yes, he knew of the Internet but he needed to get out of this apartment and far away from Reita. Plus, the atmosphere of a library was relaxing; he enjoyed the smell of worn aged books. 

He made his way inside; the quiet building was also a nice touch, silence would do him good. And the extremely attractive librarian? That he was not expecting, but a pleasant distraction from his lover, looking never hurt anyone. With medium length wavy brown hair, a face that looked so soft and with fashionable glasses to adorn that beautiful face, the man was the complete opposite of Reita. Not what he expected to see in charge of a library either. 

Forcing his eyes to look away, he focused on what he came here for. Help, on his crumbling relationship. A ring tone rung out from his pocket echoing loudly in the once quiet room, causing him to curse under his breath. The sexy librarian looked up from where he sat, staring right at the source of the commotion. Uruha blushed, digging into his pants to pull out his phone, silencing the tone then answering.

“What?” He whispered harshly, not bothering to look at the caller id.

“Hello back babe.” Aoi. Closing his eyes for a split second, he tried to not let that overly sexy voice get to him.

“Why are you calling me?” He snapped quietly, noticing the librarian went back to his work, not caring about his conversation.

There was a chuckle, “Thought you would have changed your mind by now. Don’t you miss my cock?”

Uruha’s eyes widened, looking around the library he scanned people’s faces, well, the librarian’s, as if he could hear Aoi’s vulgar words. “You’re disgusting.” 

“I know you love it baby.” Aoi said seductively, Uruha was trying to mentally block all of the images that were going through his mind of just how good Aoi was with his cock.

“Hanging up now!” Uruha hit end, then put the phone back on his pocket, making sure it was on silent this time.

Leaning lightly against the bookshelf, having a fear of creating a domino effect, he sighed, when did his life become so complicated?

“Do you need help finding something?” A deep voice called out beside him, making him jump slightly, it was the librarian. 

“Uh.” Standing straight, Uruha tried to hold his composure, “Where are the self help books?”

The librarian turned his lips up, showing off perfect white teeth, “This way.” The man moved down the aisles, until they were in the back of the library. A section that reminded him of the past in high school where Reita and him would clutch to each other desperately in a new found heated passion. He missed that chemistry and connection they once shared, a frown found its way on his face.

A gentle touch to his arm had him coming out of the past, staring right at that beautiful face. “Are you alright?”

“Yes! Sorry, thank you for your help.” Uruha blushed feeling nervous around this man; he looked at the shelves scanning through the titles, expecting the man to leave but instead stood by his side.

“It’s no problem. Was there a specific book you were looking for?” Was this man genuinely sweet or just doing his job? What did it matter? He really needed to get out of here soon.

“Relationships.” Uruha said quietly, now he really was embarrassed. He felt like an incapable guy in front of this gorgeous being.

“I know it’s none of my business but what kind of relationship problems are you having? So I can find the right book.” The librarian said gently. Uruha contemplating on what to say, what was he even doing here? Thinking that a book could really salvage his relationship with Reita.

“It’s complicated.” That was all he could come up with, seemed to sum it up perfectly.

One side of plump lips curled upwards, “Aren’t they all?”

They shared a laugh, though Uruha wouldn’t really know, Reita was the only relationship he had ever had. Aoi was nothing more than a temporary fill for sex and attention. Was that still considered a relationship? “I’m Ruki by the way.”

“Uruha.” Sharing a moment of eye contact, they both looked back towards the books. “Any books on saving a relationship full of infidelity?” Uruha said sadly, with a bit of guilt, since he had started it.

Pointing a finger over the books, the man gazed at the titles before finding one, pulling it off the shelf and handing it to Uruha. “This one should help.” Ruki’s tone held no judgment, which he was grateful for.

Reaching for the book, he accidently brushed his fingers over the man’s hand. With an urgent haste, he grabbed the book holding it close to his chest. “Thank you.”

“No problem. Are you checking it out?” Ruki had already started heading towards the front desk; he followed and shook his head. “I would like to stay here and read a bit if that’s okay.”

“Of course, just let me know if you need more help.” Then he was gone, Uruha settled down near a window on a cushion on the floor, enjoying the solidarity. The book in his hands seemed like a joke, the title of it being, Infidelity: A Survival Guide. Opening it, he decided it couldn’t hurt to see what was written inside.

Introduction, he skimmed over the words, you have discovered your mate in infidelity or you are being unfaithful and are feeling conflicted about it. Uruha stopped reading for a moment, looking up already the sense of guilt coming back. Deciding to read on, the book urged him to keep a journal as he read, he sighed. This was beginning to sound ridiculous, still he didn’t want to go back home and he had nothing better to do.

The Shock of Discovery, more like the shock of being discovered, but he actually was shocked when Reita starting to see his new man. Uruha cringed; it was still heartbreaking to think about the secret man who stole his lover away. Pushing his self-induced misery away, he continued on with the book.

He scanned over another sentence, sometimes an unfaithful mate is such a skilled liar, he stopped reading snapping the book shut. Uruha couldn’t take it anymore, this book just made him pissed off and more upset. Forgetting that he put his mobile on silent, he checked it to see thirteen missed calls and ten new text messages.

To his disappointment, all the missed calls were from Aoi and not Reita. Reading the text messages, most were from Aoi, whining about him ignoring the persistent man. One though was from Reita, I’m sorry. Come home please.

Without typing a reply he pocketed his cell phone. Pushing himself off the floor he went to the front desk, placing the book on the counter. “I didn’t want to put it back in the wrong spot.”

“You don’t want to take it out?” Ruki looked at him as if he was worried.

“No, I don’t think it will help me any.” Uruha said sheepishly. “Thanks anyway.”

Ruki nodded, placing the book on a cart then wrote something down on a loose piece of paper, handing it to Uruha. “Here’s my number, if you ever want to talk.”

Stunned, Uruha grabbed the paper putting it in his pants pocket. “Thanks.” Did Ruki see him as a vulnerable fuck? Or was he completely straight and genuinely cared for his well-being, even if he was a mere stranger? He offered a harmless smile, then started his way back home.

By the time he arrived home, the sun was already setting. The apartment was eerily quiet, flicking on the living room’s lights; he realized that he was alone. Checking his mobile, he had no new messages. He decided to call Reita, sitting down on the couch as it rang.

“Hey.”

Hey? That’s all he got, even Aoi called him by endearments, again he was expecting too much from Reita. “Hey. Where are you?”

“I’m out.” Meaning he was with him. The familiar twist of his guilt stricken heart was becoming an unwelcome occurrence. 

Uruha felt his eyes watering, trying to sound normal with a tremble of bow shaped lips he asked, “What’s his name?”

Hearing a sigh come from Reita angered him more, letting a tear escape from his eye. “I deserve to know.” He demanded, his hand holding the cell phone beginning to shake.

“You don’t deserve to know and I don’t want him brought into this.” Reita said it calmly as if it was a normal conversation he went through everyday. Now Uruha’s anger was raging over his guilty conscience. 

“He doesn’t even know about me? Wow Reita, real fucking classy.” He shouted into his phone before throwing it across the room, watching as it broke into pieces. Gripping the strands of his honey hair, he screamed out to the empty apartment, letting the tears flow freely. “Fuck.”

Leaving his shattered cell phone on the floor, he left his gloomy home with only one place in mind. It didn’t take him long, one subway ride and a few blocks later he was knocking on his door, it the up scaled neighborhood. 

The door opened, wearing only pajama pants, Aoi stood confidently showing off his delicious six-pack, “Knew you couldn’t stay away baby.”

“Shut up.” Uruha sneered, placing his hands on the bare chest in front of him, he pushed Aoi inside the house, grabbing a hold of Aoi’s neck he moved forward capturing his bottom full lip between his teeth, biting down hard until the metallic taste filled his mouth.

Next thing he knew, he was slammed against the nearest wall rattling the paintings he did himself, a whine escaped him at the contact. Aoi pinned his wrists against the wall, next to his head. “I know what you need baby.” The voice cooed into his ear, biting gently along his neck.

A sharp exhale left him, body shuddering, this was exactly what he needed, to let the source of his guilt consume him. “Fuck me.”

His pants were forcibly removed along with his shirt, left naked against the wall, Aoi removed his pajama pants, and about to walk away, Uruha grabbed his wrist. “Raw. Fuck me raw.”

Arching an eyebrow, Aoi moved back in front of Uruha, gliding their bodies against another. Uruha arched his back off the wall with a moan, grabbing a hold of Aoi’s shoulders; he dug in his nails as they grinded their bodies together roughly. A grip so tight on Uruha’s slim hips that would surely leave a mark, but he didn’t care. In a swift movement Aoi turned him around, he cheek colliding hard against the drywall. 

His ass cheeks were pulled apart, Aoi’s erection rubbing between them, a growl in his ear, “I’m going to make you limp.” Uruha shuddered at Aoi’s intentions, it was exactly what he wanted, nothing else at the moment mattered.

Bracing himself against the wall with nothing to hold on to he cried out when Aoi pushed his cock into him. His body felt numb as Aoi continued to pound into his ass, after this fuck, he would be limping. Again, he could feel tears sting at his eyes. His mind effortlessly drifted off to where Reita was, wondering if his lover was in a similar position. Thrusting his way deep into his mystery lover, he moaned against the wall, he could taste the paint in his mouth. Another thrust, the pain he wanted to feel wasn’t there, instead another ache took its place. 

Right now, Aoi having his way with him, handling him like the slut he was, that is what he choose over his relationship with Reita. He deserved to be punished; Reita’s new found happiness with his new lover was his penance. 

He bit his bottom lip as Aoi carried him with ease while still buried deep inside him, practically dropping him on backside of the couch. Now bent over the back of the couch, Uruha dug his nails into the leather cushions, Aoi moved inside him again. The hot slick skin of Aoi’s chest sticking to his back, hands still possessively holding his hips in their tight hold.

Roughly being yanked by the hair, he tilted his head back with a yelp; Aoi’s warm breathe brushing the side of his face. “How much did you miss me?”

Nails denting the fabric, he gritted his teeth, the cock moving inside him still fierce and deep. Another yank to his locks, crying out again, more tears falling, he had to answer. “I missed you so much.” A flat out lie, he didn’t miss Aoi at all, he missed Reita, this was so wrong, why was he here? “Fuck!” He screamed out in frustration, he still couldn’t fathom how he still held a boner.

His sentiment mistaken for pleasure, Aoi groaned, “That’s right baby.” A few sluggish thrusts and Aoi spilt his seed deep inside him, a sickening reminder of what he had become. Aoi pulled out and left the living area, Uruha still bent across the leather couch like a disregarded whore. 

He needed help, a cry out to Reita, a plea that was ignored, there was no hope for him now. Thoughts of his lover again, a sweet man with a romantic side, he knew that the mystery man was getting only the best treatment. And here he was, nothing more than a piece of meat, long forgotten to rot.


	5. Chapter 5

Things were going good for the past week, or at least Reita thought so. Seeing Kai three times at night this week had been his highlight, while the other nights, not so much. Two of them being spent alone on the couch video gaming, while the last two nights were with Uruha. Which should have been a nice time, but apparently his lover was still mad at him, probably explaining his absence from home that had started to occur recently. 

Bringing him to the present time where he was about to give up on trying to reach his climax. Uruha’s dead eyes aimed at the wall behind him and the missing action of his eager hips to match his thrusts were enough to turn Reita off. Stopping his movements, he glared at Uruha, “Fuck Uruha, feels like I’m fucking a corpse.” 

A wince from his lover, that did not go unnoticed by Reita, it almost felt like Uruha was about to tremble. Sighing, he pulled out his already softening cock and fell down on the bed next to his lifeless lover. Uruha turned on his side, facing away from him and muttered, “Sorry.”

“Whatever.” Reita scoffed, leaning to the side of the bed for his stash of smokes. Lighting one up, he glanced at Uruha’s bare back, just now noticing a purplish hue that resembled fingers coloring his hip. His free hand moved on its own to trace the bruised flesh, making Uruha flinch visibly. “Did Asshole do this to you?” He snapped, anger already scorching inside of him, knowing for a fact, he had never left any sort of contusions on his lover, ever. He blew out smoke, watching it swirl around Uruha’s naked flesh.

Reita was met with silence, a recurring action he had been getting from Uruha lately. Letting out another sigh, he put out his cigarette, stubbing it out in the ashtray next to the bed. Gathering Uruha’s slender shaking frame in his arms, he finally noticed that his lover was crying. Feeling his heartache, though slightly annoyed, Reita quietly asked, “What happened?” For a moment, he wished the man in bed with him were Kai instead; quickly he wiped the thought away.

“Nothing.” Uruha’s broken voice announced. Right, of course it was nothing. The remark only further enraged him. It seemed like Uruha didn’t want to fight for their relationship anymore. Reita was alarmed, realizing maybe he didn’t want to save it either. Were they too far gone? He couldn’t even recognize Uruha anymore.

Never did he ask for anything in return but Uruha’s trust and love. Both seemed to have been damaged beyond repair. Running a hand down Uruha’s side, he let it linger over the marked area. “Is this how you want to be?” His words came out harsher than he intended, but Reita continued, “Do you want us to end?”

Uruha turned around, showing his tear-stained face, “Of course not!” His lover buried his face between his neck and the bed. A shudder accompanied by a cry out, “I miss you so much.” Reita could feel his skin becoming dampened; he wrapped his arm around Uruha’s shaking shoulder, rubbing the area in an effort to comfort his lover.

“Is that why you forgot about me and fucked Asshole?” Reita was starting to get real fucking tired of this shit. He knew that he had seen that Asshole again, those bruises were enough to prove it. Even though Uruha said he wasn’t going to go back to him. Reita mentally slapped himself; he had pushed him to go back, didn’t he? Fuck.

Uruha stayed silent once again. Shaking his head, Reita tried to ask something else that was on his mind. “Who’s Ruki?” Brown eyes looked up to him confused, a mess of matted wet hair sticking to his face, Uruha whispered, “What?”

Reita was seriously becoming irritated, “Ruki, found his number on the counter. Someone else you’re seeing?”

Uruha let out a laugh, he almost looked slightly crazy, and Reita was beginning to worry that his lover was in fact going insane. “He’s a librarian. He gave me his number, I didn’t call him.” Reita didn’t know what was more shocking, that Uruha got someone’s number or the fact that he didn’t call him. Now he was wondering if Uruha was actively trying to see other people, jealously crept up within him, even if he had no right to stop him. This was becoming all too complicated for him; he rubbed his forehead, wanting to scream out but instead exhaled.

“Right. Maybe you should just get some sleep.” Reita stroked Uruha’s lower back as he settled back into the mattress. Honestly, Uruha looked a mess and hopefully a goodnights rest would help. He would just have to control his cock, or maybe just save it for Kai. For now. Being deprived so long, now all he could think of was sex, once he had a taste of it again. Fearing he was becoming a sex addict, he cringed, like he needed more problems right now. Kai seemed to be the only one to fulfill his sexual desires.

“Yeah.” Uruha said sleepily, with his stomach against the bed, he tilted his head away from Reita, already closing his eyes. No more words were exchanged, Uruha’s steady breathing already could be heard in the quiet room. Reita tried to understand how to deal with all of this. Uruha wasn’t acting like himself, was it because of him, he was to blame? That was a stupid fucking question. Uruha probably knew how he felt about Kai. Shit, even he was scared of how he felt about the other man.

If this whole arrangement was going to destroy Uruha, maybe he should break it off with Kai. Or maybe Uruha? It seemed ludicrous to consider, they have known each other their whole lives. What would happen then? Would he ever see Uruha again? Was it possible to continue indulging in two separate relationships and somehow make Uruha happy?

This was all too much stress that he certainly didn’t need, untangling his body out of bed; he went to sit in the kitchen with his phone. Noticing that Uruha had left his own mobile on the table, he swiped it. Snapping it open, he went through his contacts, stopping at Aoi. He resisted the urge to change it to Asshole instead. Clicking the name, he saw the number, which he added to his own phone, under his nickname for the piece of shit. Closing Uruha’s mobile, he put it back where he found it. Back to his own, he wondered if Kai was still up. Wishing he had someone to talk about his problems with, but all he had was Uruha and Kai. No way could he talk to Kai, unless maybe if he spoke metaphorically. But the whole, ‘my friend’ speeches were overrated and would be obvious it was him that had the problems, not some imaginary friend.

“Fuck.” He rubbed his tired face, only in his early thirties, he already felt twice his age. 

Glancing to the piece of wrinkled paper on the counter, he thought of the unknown man, Ruki. Maybe he should pay him a visit, possibly find out what his true intentions with Uruha really were. What the fuck was he thinking? 

Groaning, he removed himself from the wooden chair, and rummaged through the kitchen cabinets. Finding a bottle of sake, he took a large swig, enjoying the burn the liquor left down his throat. Leaning against the counter, he gave up on this solitary act, he needed to talk with someone. 

Once again, he looked through his cell phone, letting temptation take over, with the help of some booze; he clicked send. After a few rings, a chipper voice sounded out of his mobile, “Hey.”

“Hey, I didn’t wake you did I?” Reita rubbed the side of the counter, removing imaginary dirt.

“No, I’m just in bed watching some horrible soap opera reruns.” Kai giggled, in the background, Reita could make out the faint sounds of his television. “What’s up?”

“I couldn’t sleep, just thinking about you.” Reita uttered quickly, feeling rather lame.

“You are so cute.” Reita let out a nervous laugh at the comment. “What are you doing?”

Reita looked around the vacant kitchen, “Nothing. But talking to you.”

“Really? What are you wearing then?” Reita looked down at himself, he was still indeed naked.

“Nothing.” He said honestly, plenty of people sleep naked, right?

“Damn Reita.” Kai moaned. “I wish you were here.”

He found himself becoming aroused by the lustful way Kai was talking, and if he didn’t know any better it sounded like Kai was pleasuring himself. Reita decided to play along, “I’m right here.” Looking down, he could see his own cock starting to harden. His face became heated as he asked, “Are you hard for me, baby?”

Slowing rubbing the head of his cock, his fingers were already slick with pre-cum. He heard a whimper on the line, “Yes, you know what you do to me.” Another moan, Reita was becoming so excited he let out one of his own, maybe a little bit too loudly. Imaging that he was there feeling Kai’s tight inner walls squeeze around him—tightening the hold on his cock, he pumped it quicker.

“You feel so good.” Reita closed his eyes, imaging everything completely. Kai moaned out his name, along with a long whine that had Reita almost falling to the ground as he too came into his hand, some spraying on the tile floor of the kitchen. 

Only their breaths were heard over the phone for a few minutes, Reita let himself slump to the floor with a small smile creeping on his face. “That was,” Letting out a laugh, “Different.”

Kai’s dreamy voice sounded, “We should do this more often.” Reita was about to agree, when he stopped, the smile falling off his face. Standing in the doorway was Uruha, dressed in an oversized t-shirt, looking anything but happy.

Reita realized this wouldn’t help his lover any, naked on the kitchen floor with his sperm scattered in front of him, with his cell phone against his ear. They locked eyes for a moment, and then Uruha moved into the kitchen quietly, not disturbing him. 

Reita stood up, walking into the hallway towards the bathroom, “I think I’m ready to sleep now. Thanks, baby.”

“Mm, me too. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Kai said sleepily. They said their goodbyes; Reita grabbed a towel from the bathroom, heading to clean up his mess, hoping that Uruha went back to bed.

To his dismay, he entered the kitchen to find Uruha sitting at the table with a steaming mug of tea. The floor was clean, he looked over to Uruha, eyes red and puffy, and with a hoarse whisper, he said, “I cleaned it up.” Looking back down at his tea, Uruha took a sip, his voice sounded somewhat normal again, “Sorry to interrupt.”

This was beyond awkward, what the fuck was he supposed to do now? Sitting next to his lover, still naked, he took Uruha’s hand. “No, I’m sorry.” During all this time, he had never felt as guilty as he did now; Uruha actually witnessing what Kai did to him. He could only imagine how much sorrow his lover was feeling now. Fuck, this whole thing was getting out of hand.

“Uruha, what do you need?” Reita said, squeezing his lover’s hand. Uruha looked at him, as if he was trying to smile, but did nothing more than shake his head.

“Come on.” He led Uruha back to their bedroom, hand in hand; both of them scooted into bed, Reita bringing the covers over both of them. Reita slipped a hand underneath Uruha’s shirt, rubbing the smooth skin of his stomach; his lover squirmed and let out a breath.

Crawling between Uruha’s legs underneath the covers, he let his hands roam under the shirt, finding Uruha’s nipples, pinching and rubbing them. Uruha let out a tiny whimper, his legs resting on Reita’s shoulders. Bringing his attention back to what was in front of him, Reita licked the head of Uruha’s cock; it bumped against his lips in response. 

He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he had tasted his lover’s cock. Bringing one hand down to stroke and hold the base, Reita continued teasing the head with his tongue. Moving both of his hands to hold down Uruha’s hips, he wrapped his lips around the head of Uruha’s cock then slid down slowly. Whimpers could be heard above him, as he was underneath the covers, the air had become hot and moist from his actions, and Reita loved every moment of it. He could imagine the beautiful face Uruha was making to match the moans he heard.

One of his lover’s hands grabbed at his blonde locks, heels digging into his back, “Rei.” Hearing his childhood nickname from Uruha turned him on even more, though he chose to ignore his needs for once, wanting to satisfy his lover instead. Stopping his teasing, he took all of Uruha’s cock into his mouth, his lover’s erection moving in and out of his mouth as he bobbed his head. 

Reita moaned over the cock in his mouth, realizing how much he had missed this. He could hear Uruha panting heavily, Reita took his mouth away from hard length, removing the comforter off his head, he scaled Uruha’s slim body. Giving Uruha a taste of himself, as their lips connected for a moment in a heated kiss. “What do you want baby?” A nibble to his curved lips, “Let me hear you say it.”

Pulling away, the moonlight streaming through the window illuminated Uruha’s face, a soft blue hue across his features, he looked pleasantly pleased, Uruha shut his eyes and then reopened them, “I want,” His lover whimpered as Reita gave a stroke of Uruha’s still painfully hard cock. “To fuck your mouth.” Smiling, he placed a peck on Uruha’s lips before sliding down his body, leaving a trail of kisses.

Once he reached Uruha’s cock, he began to take it all into his mouth and looked at Uruha, seeing the pure lustful gaze in those brown eyes. Uruha positioned both of his hands on top of Reita’s head, pushing him down further, and then started to buck his hips. 

Reita could feel the tip of his lover’s cock in the back of his throat, he remained still as Uruha did as he said he would, and fucked his mouth. With the thrusts that were brutally pounding into his mouth, Reita could feel Uruha’s emotions coursing through him. The hands that held him down pushed him back, just in time for the hot stream of Uruha’s release to hit him right in the face, though he tried to catch as much as he could into his mouth, basking in the salty taste.

Making his way back up Uruha’s body, he couldn’t help but smile, Uruha looked so beautiful completely spent. To his amusement, Uruha cleaned off the remaining semen off his face with his tongue. Reita pressed himself into his lover’s body as they shared a sloppy kiss, his erection rubbing against Uruha’s stomach. Long legs wrapped around his back, feet resting on the curve of his ass, Reita held Uruha’s face in his hands. Breaking their kiss, his mouth left open over the side of his lover’s cheek as he coated Uruha’s toned stomach with his seed.

After overcoming both of their orgasms, they held on to each other’s damp bodies. All thoughts of everything that had become so completely fucked up between them gone. Reita held who he believed was his soul mate, together a sweaty mess combined with tangled limbs, this would have been a perfect comeback to their relationship. If only it weren’t for the nagging feeling in Reita’s heart, that went by the name Kai.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter yet! ^^ Hope you all enjoy!

It had become clear to Uruha what he must do. He waited until Reita left for work, being the coward he really was, as he plopped his rugged duffle bag on their bed, tossing in a few of his belongings. With a heavy heart, he decided to leave Reita; he couldn’t stand by and watch his lover be so involved with another man. That much was obvious, even if Reita himself hadn’t realized it yet, he was always a bit dense. 

Zipping up his worn bag, he threw it over his shoulder, taking one more glance at the room around him. If he lingered any longer he would change his mind, Uruha walked into the kitchen, grabbed Ruki’s number and then went into the living room, where he stopped. Picking up a picture that causally sat on an end table, he stared at his and Reita’s smiling faces before shoving it into his bag.

The front door opened, his heart picked up, cursing at his laziness, it must have been already noon. Reita hadn’t come home for lunch in years, why now? As soon as Reita saw him standing there with the bag hung loosely by his side, he dropped his keys, a look of despair across his face. “Uruha. What are you doing?” Uruha looked down at the floor in shame.

Shifting on his feet, he gripped the bag tighter, swinging it in front of him, “I’m leaving.” Uruha’s voice waivered, as he gathered enough courage to look at Reita. His lover huffed out, putting a hand in his hair, “You beg me not to leave but here you are. Ready to walk out the door.” Reita’s voice started to rise, making Uruha flinch. “Without even saying goodbye!”

Uruha was going to leave a note, as horrible as that sounded but what else could he do? He didn’t want to have this confrontation; afraid he would break down and stay. “I’m sorry, Rei.” He could feel tears burning in his eyes, “But I can’t stay and watch you fall in love with another man.”

Reita was rendered speechless, his mouth open wide, trying to say something but nothing came out. Uruha had to get out of here fast, before he held Reita in his arms begging for him to stop all this madness, let them go back to how they were. Instead, he casually walked passed Reita and slipped out the door.

As pathetically dependent he was on others, he found himself walking to Aoi’s door. He knew in his mind that his relationship with Aoi was far from being healthy, but he couldn’t help but go back, as if he was addicted. Once he arrived at his apartment, Uruha suddenly felt stupid, if Aoi turned him away, where would he go? But as the door opened, Aoi stood there, shirtless as always, with a victorious smirk plastered on his face, “Oh babe, you moving in?”

“I just need a place to stay for a couple days.” Uruha said sheepishly. 

Aoi laughed, standing aside to let him in, “Right. In your terms, I’m sure that means weeks or even months.” As Uruha walked inside, Aoi came up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist, “Not that I mind.” Aoi nibbled on his neck, sucking on the tender flesh hard, making him whimper, Aoi was marking him as his own. He shivered, wandering if he would survive the week to come. “You finally left him for me?” Aoi whispered in his ear, as a hand tried to make its way into his pants.

Breaking away from the embrace, Uruha dropped his bag on the floor. “I didn’t leave him for anybody.” He said determined, but it didn’t sound like it. Aoi just grinned, and then grabbed him by the wrist harshly, forcing him back into an embrace.

“Either way. You aren’t staying here for free.” Aoi hissed in his ear, making him shudder. Uruha knew exactly what he meant, and it wasn’t money he wanted. Trying to find his voice, he whimpered, “I know.” Another example of how he was a pitiful excuse of a man, one that couldn’t even support himself.

Aoi pushed Uruha down to the floor; he already knew what the other wanted. Pulling out Aoi’s already hardening cock from the soft fabric of his pajama pants, he slowly pumped it, making it completely hard. Though Aoi was not one for slow teasing, Uruha felt him push against his lips, which he automatically opened to let him inside. The salty taste of Aoi’s cock hit his tongue, not long until he felt it hit the back of his throat. 

Uruha steadied himself by holding on to Aoi’s legs, as the other began to forcefully fuck his face. He tried to relax his throat as much as he could, but tears still fell from his eyes. Aoi tangled his hands into Uruha’s hair, pulling at it roughly while still holding his head in place.

“Fuck, babe.” Aoi groaned, pounding into his mouth a few more times until Uruha felt spurts of cum hit his tongue. When Aoi pulled out with a satisfied, he held a lazy smile, Uruha made sure to swallow every bit of the sour substance in his mouth.

“I have to get ready for work.” Aoi said nonchalantly, heading to his bathroom. Uruha stayed on his knees for a few moments, trying to catch his breath. Ignoring the erection in his pants, he finally stood up and sat on the couch. Contemplating on what to do now. He pulled out the wrinkled piece of paper that held Ruki’s number. It would be nice to talk a person who wasn’t involved in his chaotic excuse of a life.

“What are you going to do?” Aoi said, returning into the loft, pulling a t-shirt over his head. Uruha quickly crumpled the paper in his hand, holding it in a tight fist.

“I’m not sure.” Uruha whispered. Not really knowing if Aoi was simply asking about today or for his future. 

“Try not to sit around and mope too much.” Aoi snickered, then simply left. 

After hearing the door close, he unfolded his hand, looking at Ruki’s number. He dug a hand into his pockets to grab his mobile, which usually resided there, but felt nothing. Uruha groaned, realizing he had shattered it against the wall not to long ago, his temporary phone he had forgotten on the table at Reita's place. “Shit.” He mumbled to himself, getting up off the couch, he rummaged around the loft. Of course Aoi didn’t have a house phone. Not much options left, he decided to just head to the library, locking the door behind him, hoping that when he was back Aoi was there to let him in.

He held his jacket closer to his body as he made his way to his destination, which luckily didn’t take long. One thing Uruha didn’t realize that it was already past six, the library had already closed an hour ago. Leaning against the locked door, he cursed out, just his luck. 

“Uruha?” He turned his head to the side, to see Ruki standing with a handful of books tucked under his arm, a long black jacket covering most of his body and those adorable glasses. He sighed in relief, and then nervously laughed, he must look crazy.

“Hey.” Propping himself off the door, he walked to where Ruki was standing, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Sorry, I—” Uruha looked at the man in front of him, who just patiently stood listening to him, “I lost my phone. I—” Here he was a babbling mess, he must have looked so stupid.

“Uruha, it’s alright.” Ruki smiled, shifting the books in his arms, “Do you want to go get a drink? Or maybe tea?”

Uruha was relieved that Ruki took a hold of the conversation he was failing at; he couldn’t understand why he was so nervous. His communication skills obviously had deteriorated. “A drink sounds nice.”

“Let me just put these in my car.” Ruki gestured to a nice sedan in the parking lot, Uruha nodded and watched as the other put his books inside then walked back to him with a smile.

“We could walk to a nice place around the corner if you want.” Again Uruha nodded, afraid to say something stupid. They walked side by side for the short distance to what Uruha figured to be an upscale bar. He was beginning to wonder how much librarians actually made.

Once comfortably seated inside, they waited for the drinks, Uruha ordered a cheap beer while Ruki got some kind of mix drink called a Jolly Rancher. The shorter man shrugged off his coat; underneath he wore a simple white button dress shirt. Uruha couldn’t help but look, when Ruki looked up, he smiled and Uruha blushed looking away.

Finally, Uruha had received his drink, giving him a little bit more courage. Ruki took a sip of his mix drink, then set it down, “Do you want to talk about it?”

He tilted his head, “Talk about what?”

“Your relationship.” Ruki offered. 

Where would he even begin? Now he thought this wasn’t such a good idea, but it was too late to turn back now. “I don’t know where to start.” He took a sip of his beer, and then shook his head. “I shouldn’t bother you with my problems.”

Another heart-warming smile, “It’s fine. That’s what we are here for, right?”

“It’s over.” When Uruha said it, he didn’t realize until that moment that it was in fact over. Reita and him were done. Suddenly, he wanted nothing more to cry but held it inside.

“I’m sorry.” Ruki looked genuinely saddened by his words. “But if there was infidelity involved, then that is a toxic relationship to stay in, maybe it’s for the best.”

Already drank all of his beer, Uruha felt a pleasant buzz, shaking his head, he said, “It’s my fault.”

“You cheated?” Ruki asked hands flattened on the table in front of him.

Uruha received his second beer; he greedily took a gulp, “Yes.” He was feeling like the worlds most atrocious person right about now, still he had no idea why this beautiful stranger would even bother talking to him. “When he found out,” Uruha stopped, gauging the reaction on Ruki’s face when he reveled his relationship was with a man, and to his surprise it stayed neutral. “He decided that he would see other people. I guess to make it even.”

“Even if you had cheated, that wasn’t right of him to blatantly see other people on the side.” Another sip of his Jolly Rancher, “Obviously, you feel overcome with guilt about what you have done. He should have sat down with you and talked about it like an adult.”

Uruha blinked at Ruki’s words, not the reaction he was expecting. Still stunned to say anything, Ruki continued, “Knowing he was with other’s hurt you right? Is that why you two aren’t together anymore?”

Swallowing, Uruha said the words that hurt his heart so much, “I’m pretty sure he fell in love with another man.”

Ruki leaned back in his chair, “What makes you say that?”

Done with his second beer, he felt tipsy enough to let it all flow out. “He spends more time with him. Whenever he would see me, a look of annoyance would be on his face. “Last night,” He recalled the events he witnessed, his heart physically hurting as he said, “He was on the phone with him.” Uruha decided to leave out the obscure sexual part out, “He was smiling.” Uruha took another gulp of his third beer when it arrived. “The same smile he used to give me.”

“That’s a huge assumption on one smile.” Ruki lit up a cigarette, Uruha looked at it longingly; the other chuckled, handing one over. Uruha muttered his thanks as Ruki lit it for him. “I take it the two of you have been together awhile?”

Uruha smiled as he remembered the long history he had with Reita, “Yeah. Known each other our whole lives but officially together for ten years.”

Ruki nodded, he looked as if in deep thought, and said, “Do you want to know what I think?”

Uruha nodded, taking a puff off his smoke along with another gulp of beer. “I think that he isn’t in love with this other man, but more so in love with the idea of him.”

Leaning on the table, Uruha tapped his cigarette, letting the ash fall. “What do you mean?”

“His trust with you has been broken, so instead of fixing it, he is replacing it.” Ruki stubbed his cancer stick out.

“Are you sure you’re just a librarian?” He let himself laugh, feeling maybe slightly better at what Ruki said. If that were true, maybe Reita and him still had a chance.

“A Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology, actually. I’m serious though, why would he give up on you, if you two have been together so long?” Ruki said confidently. 

“Should I be paying you for this?” Uruha chuckled again, feeling a nice buzz. “I don’t know, what I did was pretty messed up, no matter the stupid reasons I did it for.” Ruki was another successful man to enter his life, another blow to his self-esteem, as he was nothing, a nobody. He put out his cigarette, a little bit too bitterly.

Ruki joined in with a laugh of his own, “What reasons would that be?”

“We both fell into this routine, where we wouldn’t even touch each other let alone talk to one another. I survive on attention, he wouldn’t give me any, and so I stopped trying to receive it.” He said sadly, feeling rather stupid at admitting it.

The shorter man nodded, and then asked, “What about the other, the one you cheated with? Want to talk about them?”

The last thing he would ever want to do would be talk about Aoi. Surely, he would be judged if he told him about his twisted relationship with Aoi. Not feeling comfortable at all, he replied, “Not really, no.”

“Okay, maybe another time.” Ruki offered a smile, placing down a few bills on the table, more than enough to cover both of their orders.

Uruha didn’t complain, he realized that he didn’t have any money on him. “Thank you. For everything.” He was slightly drunk, but tried his hardest to keep his roaring emotions in control. 

The shorter man stood up, putting on his coat, “You’re welcome.” He stood waiting for Uruha to go on ahead of him. As they walked back to Ruki’s car, still parked at the library, Uruha was trying to figure out what to do next.

“Do you need a ride?” Ruki asked, unlocking his car, which on closer inspection, Uruha realized was a Lexus.

“Sure.” Uruha said quietly, he would have Ruki drop him off a few blocks away from Aoi’s home.

After giving him directions, the rest of the ride was spent in silence. Ruki didn’t even have the radio on. It made Uruha go crazy; Ruki seemed comfortable while here he was picking at his fingers. Thankfully, it didn’t take long to arrive at the random location he had given Ruki.

Pulling over on to the side of the road, Ruki put the car in park and looked over at Uruha. “Until you find your phone, just stop by the library if you want to hang out again or talk. I’m pretty much always there.”

With his altered mind, thanks to the alcohol he consumed, he leaned over his seat and kissed Ruki on the lips, just a light feather touch, Ruki’s lips parted by didn’t move back. It was broken when Ruki pushed him back gently, “Uruha.” There he had done it again, making a fool of himself. Not only that but to even more complicate his life and possibly loose a new friend. Quickly he whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Already with his hand on the door handle, attempting to jump out of the car before he made this any worse, he stopped when he felt Ruki grab his arm tenderly. Slowly, he turned his head to look at the other.

“I want to be your friend.” Uruha could feel his heart clenching at the rejection, he was so stupid to even try it. He didn’t even know what was going through his own mind anymore. Ruki continued in a worried tone, “Do you live here?”

Uruha shook his head, trying once again to not cry. “I don’t have any where to go.” He knew Aoi wouldn’t be home; the other was most likely still at work or looking for more asses to push his dick into.

“You can stay with me.” Ruki said, putting the car back in gear, heading to his own home. Uruha buckled himself back in, nervously glancing out the window, not knowing what to say.

Arriving at an extremely tall skyscraper, Ruki and Uruha boarded the elevator, as they headed to the top floor. Okay, so Ruki lived in a penthouse, just great. He was beginning to wonder how the shorter man was so loaded on a librarian’s salary. Once inside the penthouse, he felt his knees weaken, Uruha felt he would taint the furniture inside if he went near it.

“There you are honey.” A snide female voice rang out as they made their way inside. Uruha spotted a tall brunette woman, holding an oversized purse, flipping her hair. “Who’s this?”

“This is my friend Uruha, he’s staying the night.” Looking over at Uruha, Ruki said, “Uruha, this is my fiancé, Hina.” Eyes wide, Uruha looked at Hina then back at Ruki, as she made her way to the door, in a hushed voice he said, “Oh my god. I’m so sorry!”

“I’ll be out all night with the girls. Don’t wait up.” Hina said, then slammed the door.

She’s a sweetheart, Uruha thought. Ruki laughed, “Don’t worry about it, okay?” Uruha had tons of questions running through his mind, but they seemed too inappropriate to ask.

Ruki showed him to an exceptionally lovely guest room, “Are you tired? You can sleep here.”

Considering if he wanted to sleep or not, he decided no, not yet. “Not really. Are you?”

With a shake of his head, Ruki told him to follow, where they ended up in a sitting room, the walls on the outside completely made of glass. “Want another drink?”

“Sure.” Uruha suddenly had the urge to find a phone in the massive apartment; he wanted to call Reita so bad. He wondered if Reita was worried about him. Settled on a sofa that probably cost more than Uruha wanted to imagine, they sat next to each other sipping on a mix drink, one that Uruha couldn’t remember what it was called.

He felt himself leaning on to Ruki, as they remained in a comfortable silence and he slowly felt the alcohol taking over his body. Staring out of the window, he had a view of all Tokyo, Uruha found it beautiful and almost romantic. Even though he had just met Ruki’s horrible fiancé, he couldn’t help but still want the man. He needed someone to comfort him; for once it was nice to be comforted by something other than sex. Uruha smiled sleepily as he felt Ruki put an arm around his shoulders, as he fell into Ruki’s chest, breathing in his exquisite scent. As his eyes became more relaxed, the lights of the city became a blurred collage of color, Uruha thought that was a piece of art, he would paint next.


	7. Chapter 7

Still in a state of shock, Reita stood still in the doorway of his apartment, waiting for Uruha to come back. This couldn’t be fucking happening. Another five minutes passed, no return of his lover. He let out a shaky breath; frantically he pulled out his mobile, calling Uruha’s new number.

A cheerful ring tone echoed through the apartment. Reita walked into the kitchen to see the cell phone on the table. “Fuck!” He screamed out, putting his own mobile away. His phone started to ring, a generic ring tone, quickly he looked at the caller id, Kai. Reita didn’t know if this would be a good time to answer his call.

Sitting down at the table, he answered anyways, trying to level his voice, keeping his anger at bay. “Hey.”

“Hey! Are we meeting for lunch?”

“Sorry, I have an important errand to run. I was just going to pick something up on the way.” Reita said, his foot rapidly tapping the floor. He needed to find Uruha; Reita was stupid to not chase after him.

“Okay, no problem. I’ll see you back at work then!” Kai said still in his happy voice.

Finally they said their goodbyes, Reita held his head, elbows leaning on the table. He needed to think, where would Uruha possibly go? Of course. Scrolling down his contacts, he stopped at Asshole. Well, Uruha only left a few minutes ago, maybe he should wait for a bit.

Fuck, he was stupid. Never did he think that Uruha would leave him. Was it because of last night? Reita thought he had made it up to Uruha, apparently not. He had to break it off with Kai that was the only way to get Uruha back. But then what if he broke Kai’s heart as well?

Reita let out a groan of frustration, not wanting to wait anymore, he called Asshole’s number. “Hello?”

“Where’s Uruha?” He demanded.

“Who the hell is this?” Aoi said lazily.

“His fucking boyfriend you piece of shit. Now where is he?” Reita snapped.

“Oh, you.” Click.

Reita let out a scream, trying to restrain himself from smashing the phone into pieces, what the fuck did he possibly think he would gain from that? No more did he feel like eating his lunch. He had been stupid, so fucking stupid. 

Uruha had no phone; there was no way of contacting him. Maybe he could go to the police and file a missing persons report. That might be a little extreme, but hey. He was fucking desperate. Almost everyday of his life, Uruha was there, either in person or on the phone. Now suddenly he was gone, how was he supposed to live with that?

Using his cell phone again, he called work, telling them he wouldn’t be coming back. He needed to take a break, he had to think. Think. Think. Fuck. “Fuck!” He had never been this angry before, even when he found Uruha being fucked by another man. If given the chance to see that Asshole right now, he knew he would kill him.

Honestly, he had no fucking idea on what to do now. He had royally fucked up everything. Pulling at his hair in frustration, he growled out into the empty apartment. Pushing away from the table harshly, knocking the chair over, Reita made his way out of the apartment, making sure to grab his coat as he went out.

Judging by Uruha’s past, he figured if he wasn’t with Asshole, which he hoped he wasn’t, Uruha would be wasting away somewhere in a bar. The problem being that Tokyo is a huge ass city; odds of him finding his lover were slim to none. Already looking around for about an hour he was about to give up when he spotted his lover.

Feet moving on their own, Reita started his way towards Uruha but stopped when he saw he was with another men. Isolating the flare of jealousy that he felt, Reita took cover behind a crowd of people. Uruha looked at the other man, his mouth opened wide as he laughed at whatever the other said. Reita glanced at the man with his lover, shorter than Uruha, wearing a stylish casual suit, with a genuine smile place on plump lips. It took all of his self-control to not walk over there and yank Uruha away. 

Interrupted by the vibration of his cell phone in his pocket, he groaned, answering his phone while Reita regrettably watched as Uruha and the man disappeared into the crowd. “Hello?”

“Reita, are you ok? You didn’t come back to work.” Kai’s worried tone only made his heart heavier.

“Ah, yeah. I, something came up.” Reita stammered over his words as he made his way back to his home.

“Okay…do you want me to leave early and come over?” He could tell that Kai knew something was up, what could Reita tell him?

“I’m not home right now besides I don’t want you missing work because of me.” Crossing an intersection, he headed into a liquor store, determined to consume a whole fifth of whiskey tonight.

Kai chuckled, then exhaled, “Reita, you are way more important than this lousy job.”

Grabbing a bottle of whiskey off the shelves, he paid and left the store. “Okay fine. I’ll be home soon.” Reita gave directions to his apartment and hung up. Upon arriving home did Reita realize his mistake, his home reeked of two people living there. The closets still full of Uruha’s clothes, the spare room made into a makeshift studio for Uruha to paint, how was he going to pull this off?

Running around his apartment, he grabbed what he could that was Uruha’s throwing them into the studio. Taking the sheets off his bed, he fisted them, smelling the soft fabric, Uruha’s scent still lingered. Instead of throwing them in the wash, he put them in the closet. He didn’t want to loose that scent. As fucking creepy that sounds.

He decided to remove his work clothes, putting on tight black jeans and a white t-shirt that hugged the shape of his body. When he was done, he heard a knock at the door. Though he was hoping Uruha returned, he knew it was Kai. Letting Kai inside, Reita gave him a short hug before awkwardly moving in the living room.

“Your place is nice. Very…rustic.” Kai laughed. Reita guessed he meant how his walls were all brick, the apartment used to be an old factory; one of the reasons he bought the place was because Uruha loved the vintage feel.

“Yeah it is.” Reita said shifting his eyes around the apartment, looking for anything he could have missed, but Kai beat him to it.

“Who’s this?” Kai said in what almost sounded like a dark tone, though Reita ignored it, Kai picked up a photo frame of Uruha and him, huge smiles and peace signs. It was then he noticed that the other photo on that table was gone. Had Uruha taken it?

“My best friend Uruha. That was taken we were eighteen.” Not necessarily a lie, but what else could he fucking say? Oh Kai, that’s practically my husband. The jealousy in Kai’s eyes was also making him a bit nervous.

Kai hummed to himself, putting the photo down; he turned to Reita, his hands moving up Reita’s chest. “You were so cute.” Kai’s solemn attitude was gone in a flash, back to his usual self.

Feigning being hurt, Retia pouted, “So I’m not cute anymore?” His pout turned into parted lips releasing a gasp as Kai rubbed one of his nipples through his shirt.

“No, you’re so damn sexy.” Kai blew against his neck, all thoughts Reita had previously in his mind were replaced with the strong urge of pure lust. He wanted to fuck Kai right now, hard.

Shaky hands moved to hold Kai’s face as Reita leaned in pressing their lips together. In only a brief kiss, Reita pulled away resting their foreheads together, hands traveling to hold Kai’s ass, Kai whispered against his lips. “I need you.”

Reita didn’t need to be told twice, kissing Kai again, his hands kneaded Kai’s rump. His current lover moaned into his mouth making Reita push against him with need, grinding his hips. For Kai being so desperate to be fucked, he sure is taking it slow, such a fucking tease.

With a sly smile, Kai lifted up Reita’s shirt then removed it. Running his tongue down Reita’s chest, kneeling, Kai seemed on a mission to taste every part of his body. Reita looked down at him becoming extremely aroused by the foreplay. It appeared to him that Kai needed a little bit of encouragement to continue, Reita interlaced his fingers into Kai’s hair, tugging at the strands roughly, pushing his head down. Kai whimpered; he looked so perfect down on his knees with a look of a desperate need to please him.

Undoing Reita’s pants, Kai licked the fabric of his boxers over his growing erection. The combination of Kai’s hot breath and the moistening cloth rubbing against his cock was enough to make Reita come right then. Kai continued placing his hot mouth over his boxers, Reita leaned against the wall, afraid he was going to fall forward. Finally, Kai slipped his fingers inside his boxers, rolling them down along with his jeans. 

Kai rested two fingers against Reita’s cock, his mouth covering over them, Reita released a shaky gasp as Kai moved his fingers along his dick while he continued to suck. Then the sensation was gone, Kai pulled away his own spit mixed with pre-cum smeared on his lips. His slicked fingers moved to Reita’s ass, which made him immediately tense up; this was something he didn’t like to do. “Kai.” He tried to say strongly to prove his stand on what was happening, but it came out weak.

With hooded eyes, Kai looked up, “Relax.” A finger slipped into Reita’s ass, he grimaced, and with a harsh grip he brought Kai back to his cock, slapping his erection against Kai’s face then shoving it into his mouth. Kai took his cock deep, the finger in his ass sliding in deeper, making him thrust hard into Kai’s mouth, another finger. All of his anger coming back to him, Reita tried his best to not choke Kai with his cock.

Even so, he could feel himself coming closer to bliss, Kai’s fingers doing wonders to his body. When it became too much, he pushed Kai off, knocking him to the floor on his back, his fingers gone from his entrance. Kai was breathing heavily, his lips swollen and red, he smirked, “What are you waiting for?”

Reita removed Kai’s pants then settled between his legs, lifting them up on his shoulders. Believing there was enough saliva and pre-cum on his dick, he pressed the tip into Kai’s ass. Kai lifted himself up slightly, grabbing Reita’s ass cheeks making him push in deeper. “Don’t hold back.” Kai whispered, then took Reita’s bottom lip into his mouth and sucked on it as Reita’s cock buried completely inside. Fuck Kai felt so good. It always amazed him how different his ass was compared to Uruha’s. Fuck, now’s not the time to think about Uruha. He watched his dick as he pulled all the way out and then slammed back into Kai’s submissive body, picking up his pace, Reita groaned. 

Definitely not going to last, wrapping his hand around Kai’s cock, he stroked it lazily, leaning in for a kiss but Kai turned his head, baring his neck. Knowing what to do, Reita bit down on the flesh hard enough to break the skin. He felt his hand become wet and Kai let out a scream that startled Reita for a moment. When Kai recovered, he pulled away, Reita’s dick sliding out of him, just as he was about to bitch and complain about his hard on, Reita hit the floor on his back. Kai’s mouth on his dick, after over coming his shock, his body tensed up, a shudder leaving his body when he spilled into Kai’s hot mouth. “Fuck.” He made Kai stay on his cock until he was sure he swallowed it all, then released his head.

Kai rested his head on Reita’s thigh, his hand resting on the other as he caught his breath. Minutes passed and they didn’t change positions, feeling comfortable with each other. Reita smiled, staring at the ceiling. “Now what?”

“Hm?” Kai moved off Reita’s thigh to look up at him, his hair matted to the side of his face, which was still flushed.

Peeling away the stuck hair off Kai’s face, he said, “Are you hungry?”

Nodding, Kai removed himself off Reita and the floor, Reita doing the same. Both walked into the kitchen, leaving their clothes behind. Reita saw Uruha’s phone on the table, quickly grabbing it and throwing it into a nearby drawer. “What do you want to eat?”

“What was that?” Kai said pointing to the drawer where Reita just stashed Uruha’s phone.

“Oh, Uruha’s phone. He must have forgot it.” Reita said, opening up the cabinets to find something edible.

Sitting down at the table, naked, Kai said, “You are still friends then?”

Reita turned to look at Kai, after he found some instant noodles, “Yeah.” He said lamely, not sure at what Kai was trying to get at.

“Wow, you guys really are best friends.” Kai laughed but Reita felt it was forced. Does that mean Kai was jealous of Uruha? Or did he know?

Changing the subject, he held up two cups of instant noodles, standing in the middle of the kitchen butt naked. “These okay?”

“Sure.” Kai giggled walking up to Reita as he started to boil a pot of water. Being pushed against the counter and being kissed roughly wasn’t what he expected at the moment, but he enjoyed it anyways. When they broke away, Kai slung his arms around Reita’s neck, pulling them close together. Reita felt like Kai wanted to go again and he didn’t mind one bit.

“I love you.” Kai whispered to him. The first thought to enter his mind was, fuck. They had been together only a few weeks, if that, how the hell was Kai already in love with him? The boner that was coming to life quickly died. 

“Kai…” He was at a loss of words, what the fuck do you say to that? What Kai and him had was fun, but he still loved Uruha. But he didn’t want to hurt Kai’s feelings, or…heart. Plus, since Uruha was gone, he wanted to enjoy this while he could.

A finger pressed to his lips, “You don’t have to say it back. I just wanted you to know.” Kai said sweetly. The sound of water overflowing and hitting the burner with a sizzle could be heard. Kai moved away, taking the pot off the stove to fill their instant noodle cups.

In one day, both of his relationships had changed. Uruha, the love of his life, left him. Kai, what he thought to be causal thing, in love with him. Tonight, he would not be getting too much sleep; it was going to be a long fucking night. Remembering his bottle of whiskey, he poured himself a glass, downing it all.


	8. Chapter 8

When Uruha awoke the sun blinded him, wincing he tried to move but his body felt stiff. Deciding he wasn’t ready to get up just yet, he snuggled into his unusually warm pillow. Uruha’s eyes snapped open, jerking up, he realized he had just been snuggling into Ruki’s crotch. Thank god the man was still asleep, still sitting upright with his head leaned back on the couch. 

Feeling rather awkward at the whole situation, sleeping on a man’s crotch he barely knew, he quietly stood up. He was making his way to the front door when it slammed open, Hina strutting in looking hung over. She walked passed him into the living room where Ruki was still sleeping. “Wake up!” She said, kicking Ruki’s leg.

Ruki’s eyes opened slowly, he rubbed them with his hands, and then scooted to the edge of the couch, meeting Uruha’s eyes for a moment, he was standing nervously by the doorway. “What is it Hina?” Ruki said tiredly, giving Uruha an apologetic look.

“You’ve been so busy with your pointless job you forgot to call the caterers!” She screamed out, holding her head as the sound of her voice probably hurt her head.

“I’ll call them later. Don’t worry.” Ruki said calmly.

“You better.” She hissed then went to go to another room of the penthouse.

Uruha seriously didn’t know why this beautiful sweet man was with the Queen B. He wasn’t about to ask either. Stretching his still stiff body, Uruha yawned, “I’m going to go.”

Ruki stood from the couch, looking much older than his actual age, Uruha wondered how old he was. “Let me change and I’ll drive you wherever you want to go.” The shorter man lift his hands above head then moved his neck. Uruha blushed, “Sorry I fell asleep on you.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Ruki shuffled down the hall, groaning. He didn’t seem to be a morning person. Uruha wished the man wouldn’t take to long, feeling extremely uncomfortable being here. Thankfully, Ruki came back quickly, wearing ripped jeans and a long sleeve white shirt, and large sunglasses, hair still tousled from sleep. “Ready?”

Uruha nodded, he didn’t have anything here so he just put on his shoes and headed out the door with Ruki. After the slow elevator ride, they made it to Ruki’s car. Ruki drummed on the steering wheel, “Where to?”

Biting his lip, Uruha contemplated on whether or not to go retrieve his phone. Today was Sunday; Reita would either be home or hopefully spending the night at mystery man’s place. “Home. I forgot my phone there, I think.” He said with a tremor in his voice. 

Ruki looked him over, then nodded as Uruha gave him the directions. Once again, Ruki drove the car in complete silence. “Do you have any music?” Uruha asked, looking at the other man.

“I keep forgetting my iPod and I can’t stand the radio, they never play anything good.” Ruki snarled.

Smiling, Uruha gave a light chuckle, “You’re right. The radio is complete shit.”

Ruki glanced at him for a moment, returning his smile with an amused smirk.

Arriving in front of his apartment complex, Uruha gazed at it with uncertainty. Ruki grabbed his hand, making him jump startled, “Want me to come with you?” Contemplating on the pros and cons, Uruha decided, yes he did, even if Reita was there and would be really jealous. Or maybe he wouldn’t. “Yes please.”

Ruki turned off the car, letting Uruha’s hand go, they both headed up to the apartment. There they stood in front of his door, Uruha was conflicted. Should he knock or use his key? Reita probably wasn’t home anyways, he slid the key into the lock and they both walked inside.

The first thing he noticed was a delicious smell in the air, which made him feel sick. Because Reita didn’t cook, ever. Then he saw the pile of clothes on the living room floor, by then he was shaking. Ruki grabbed his hand again, giving him a squeeze. This was a horrible idea.

Entering the kitchen, he saw who he could only assume as the mystery man, wearing Retia’s pajama pants and shirt, his back turned so Uruha couldn’t see his face. Uruha opened his mouth, wanting to scream at the man to get the hell out of his house but he couldn’t. The man turned around, and then jumped, “Damn, you guys scared me!”

Still speechless, Uruha did nothing but look at the handsome man, his heart sinking, thankfully Ruki spoke up, calm and collected, “Hey, we are here to pick up his phone.” He waved towards Uruha, still holding his hand.

Moving away from the stove, Kai held a visibly forced smile, “Uruha, right?”

Startled, Uruha looked at the man, “Y-Yeah. You are?”

The man smiled at him then glanced over behind him, Uruha looked, Reita was walking into the kitchen completely naked rubbing his head with his eyes closed. “Kai, what’s with all the noise?” Kai, so that’s his name. Looks like they had fun last night.

“Wow.” Ruki said, smirking, eyebrows arched.

Reita’s eyes snapped open at the unknown voice. Staring at them mortified, covering his obvious boner the best he could. “Uruha?” He whispered.

Uruha looked away, trying to hold back tears, “Um, I came for my phone.”

Kai went back to cooking, then said happily, “Do you guys want to stay for breakfast?”

Ruki offered a kind smile, “We already ate, thank you though.”

“Okay.” Kai moved to Reita, kissing him on the lips. “Why don’t you get dressed?”

Uruha pulled away from Ruki, rushing to the bathroom, slamming the door shut. He couldn’t help it; he fell to the ground and emptied his stomach into the toilet bowl. A sob escaped him as he vomited again. Letting his head lean against the toilet seat, he let out a breath, trying to gain control of his mind and body.

A knock at the bathroom door rattled him; he closed his eyes wanting whomever it was to go away. “Uruha?” Ruki’s deep voice called through the door. Pushing himself off the floor, he opened the door for the shorter man.

Ruki closed the door behind him, “Are you okay?”

Bringing trembling fingers to his mouth, Uruha wiped at his lips, which were also quivering, then whispered, “This was such a stupid idea.” Ruki pulled him into a warm embrace; Uruha leaned into the hug, crying without a sound.

All to soon, Ruki pulled away, his hands resting on Uruha’s arms, “Alright, Uruha I know this is a shit situation but you need to hold your head high, get your phone, then we will go wherever you want. You deserve better than this.”

Uruha felt his heart pick up speed at the words, he found them to be sweet, and Ruki was such an amazing person, why couldn’t he fall in love with someone like him? Instead of Reita. No, he shouldn’t think like that. Uruha nodded, wiping his tears away, giving Ruki a miserable laugh.

“Come on.” Ruki patted his shoulder, leaving the bathroom, Uruha following behind.

Back in the kitchen, Kai was siting down eating while Reita, finally clothed, sat there looking sick. “Reita? Where’s my phone?” Uruha whispered, not trusting his voice.

Reita turned around, stood up, moved to kitchen drawer, grabbing his phone then tossing it to him. Catching it, he finally felt relieved, now they could go. But of course, Reita had something else on his mind. “Don’t think we have been introduced.” Reita walked towards Ruki with unreadable eyes.

“No, we haven’t.” Ruki said peacefully, “I’m Ruki.”

“Oh, the librarian. Be careful with him,” Reita pointed to Uruha, anger evident on his face now, “He likes to fuck this asshole on the side.” Uruha gasped at the vulgar words, cutting through him and piercing his heart.

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t talk about Uruha like that.” Taking his hand again, Ruki brought him close. His usually composed voice, rising slightly. Reita clenched his fists, looking like he was about to hit Ruki.

“We should go.” Uruha mumbled.

“Uruha.” This time it was Kai’s voice. Uruha turned to face him; the other man almost looked satisfied this was all going down. “Maybe you should take your things with you, so you don’t have to come here again.”

Reita looked nervous, “Kai, what are you talking about?”

Standing up, putting his dirty dishes in the sink, Kai laughed, “You know, all his clothes in the closet. I’m sure there is more.”

“Maybe later.” Muttering again, Uruha led Ruki out of the apartment, not wanting to see Kai or Reita at all right now, Kai most likely never again. He felt the trembling coming back, as if he was about to explode.

In the car, he let out a shaky breath; he wasn’t going to cry again. It was time to move on. “Where now to Uruha?” Ruki said as he started the car.

“I guess back to that asshole Reita was talking about.” Uruha bit his lip. Don’t cry. 

“Is he really an asshole? This the guy you didn’t want to talk about before?” Worried, Ruki didn’t move the car, staring intently at Uruha.

Uruha nodded. Not knowing what to say, he didn’t exactly want to disclose how his and Aoi’s relationship worked. What else could he do? With no steady income or a place to stay. Uruha thought it was better prostituting himself to Aoi instead of many men, an idea that had crossed his mind too many times for his liking.

“Unless you tell me that he is a good guy, I don’t feel comfortable dropping you off there.” Ruki’s voice held such sincerity.

“I left a bag of my clothes there.” Hoping to change the subject, Uruha gave a small smile, tucking his hair behind his ears.

“Do you normally leave your things everywhere?” Ruki laughed, taking the hint, but Uruha knew he wouldn’t let him off to easily.

When they arrived outside Aoi’s place, Uruha called him to make sure he was home. “Yes baby?”

“Are you home?” Uruha glanced at the door of Aoi’s home.

“Of course I am, you woke me up.” Aoi yawned to make his point with a hint of irritation.

“Ok.” Uruha hung up, looking over at Ruki, he said, “Thanks again for everything.”

Once again, Ruki held his hand, “Are you coming back with me or are you staying here?”

Uruha felt as if the answer to Ruki’s question would change his life forever. Go with the straight gorgeous man who genuinely wanted to help him? Or stay with the man who helped destroy his life and wanted nothing more to keep him broken? Of course the answer was simple.

“Staying.” Uruha whispered, his mind defying his heart.

Ruki looked into his eyes, “He’s a good guy?”

“Yes.”

The hand that held his eased away slowly, Ruki didn’t smile, “Okay.” Uruha opened the door and stepped out, Ruki called after him, “You can call me anytime.” Nodding, Uruha stepped away, Ruki drove off, he couldn’t help but feel that maybe he had hurt the shorter man’s feelings, but that would be ridiculous. 

Knocking on Aoi’s door, he stood waiting for over five minutes, when finally shirtless Aoi stood in front of him yet again. Aoi yanked him inside roughly by the arm. “Where have you been?” Sniffing his hair, Aoi moved to his neck, wrapping his arms around him, keeping him captive. 

“Finding my phone.” Uruha squeaked out as Aoi pushed his hand inside his pants, resting on his ass cheek.

“I thought maybe you went back to that sad excuse of a man.” A squeeze to his ass, Uruha whimpered out a ‘no’. Aoi brought his mouth close to his ear, “That bastard called my phone.” His heart raced as he heard how livid Aoi truly was.

Hand removed from his pants only to clutch against his throat. Aoi threw him against the wall, squeezing his throat, Uruha wheezed out a breath as his airway started to close. Black dots started to plague his vision; he could barely hear Aoi’s retort in his ear. “Did you give him my number?”

The grip on his neck was loosened, his voice cracked, “No, I didn’t know, I swear.” Aoi finally released his throat, Uruha coughed, wanting to fall to the floor but Aoi gripped his arm, holding him up. “Come on.” Being practically dragged into the bedroom, Aoi pushed him on to the plush bed.

Uruha stilled his body as Aoi continued to tear off his clothes, soon both of them were naked and Aoi was between his legs while Uruha rested on his back. “Are you going to keep running to him?” Aoi spit out, his hand traveling down Uruha’s body to grab his limp cock in a painful grasp.

Letting out a cry, Uruha shook his head, “No.” 

“Funny that I don’t trust a word you say.” Aoi hissed out, letting go of his cock, “I know how to make sure you don’t go back.”

Fingers found their way into his hair, twisting his locks and forcing his head off the bed. “Are you mine?” A force of demand sounded from Aoi’s voice.

“Yes.” No. Uruha closed his eyes.

The first blow hit the bottom of his jaw, he whimpered, quieting as Aoi tugged on his hair harshly. Aoi’s fist connected with his face again, a loud crack coming from his nose, Uruha could feel it was broken. One more to his mouth, causing his teeth to cut his lip, blood rushed down his face. Uruha could taste the blood in his mouth, his world swaying around him, the hold on his hair was released and he fell back on the bed.

Nails dug into his sides as Aoi flipped him over to lie on his stomach, blood staining the sheets below him. Uruha let out a pitiful whimper as Aoi shoved inside him, the pain nothing compared to what he felt on his face. Aoi lifted his ass up in the air then pounded in and out at a speed meant to get him off quickly. 

At the brutal pace, Uruha moaned, his hips moving to meet the thrusts. Sick, that’s how he felt, that he enjoyed this. Aoi pressed his fingers into Uruha’s ribcage enough to inflict more pain, bruising his flesh more. Uruha tried to hump the bed in attempt to give his own cock pleasure, Aoi purposefully avoiding his prostate. 

The hold on his sides became more brutal, “Did I say you could pleasure yourself?” 

Uruha whined, he hoped an orgasm could elevate the pain but Aoi didn’t want that to happen. “No.” Aoi stilled and let out a moan, pulling out of him; Uruha could feel cum leak down his thigh.

“Off.” Aoi said in his usual voice, shoving Uruha off the bed. He hit the floor hard, feeling the air escape his lungs. Uruha’s ears were ringing as he fought to keep conscious. Before he would think he deserved this, Aoi knew he wouldn’t see Reita with a fucked up face. Little did Aoi know he had a savior come into his life. Or at least he hoped, what else did he have to lose?

Mind clearing, he gathered enough strength to pick up his clothes and stand on trembling legs. This wasn’t the first time Aoi had done something like this but it was a first to mark Uruha’s face. Looking over at the other man, he could see he removed the soiled sheet and fell back to sleep.

Uruha’s stomach growled loudly, his hunger the least of his worries. With light steps, he left the bedroom, heading to his bag to retrieve clean clothes. A shower would do him some good, relieve some of his pain and wash away the evidence Aoi left inside him.

When the water sprayed his body he let out a hiss, the water down the drain tinted red. He let the tears fall, promising himself this was the last time, he had to stop being so pathetic. Drying off, he glanced at the mirror, his nose dark purple and swollen, a split lip, and marks on his neck and a large bruise on his chin. Hideous. Uruha wished he had some make up to cover it all up.

Heading out of the bathroom, he looked into Aoi’s room, hearing soft snores was good enough for him, he shut the door. Thankfully, he had saved Ruki’s number in his cell phone, it was around noon, and he hoped Ruki wasn’t too busy. 

“Hello?” He had never felt so relieved to hear Ruki’s voice.

Keeping his own voice quiet, not knowing what Aoi would do if he woke up now, he said, “Hey, its Uruha.”

“Okay, why are you whispering?” Ruki sounded concerned, that meant he cared, right?

“He’s not…” He found it absurd he couldn’t finish a simple sentence, but it left his throat feeling dry.

“What?” 

“He’s not…a good guy.” There he said it.


	9. Chapter 9

Still recovering from the fact that Uruha and his apparently new lover were just here, Reita sighed. But Kai wasn’t going to let him rest anytime soon. His hangover killing him even more, making him feel nauseous. More liquor should clear that right up.

“Reita.” Kai’s voice didn’t sound as it normally did; Reita braced himself for what was to come. “You said he was your best friend. Obviously he was more to you than that.”

Reita fell back against the couch, groaning as his head started to spin. No matter, Kai continued, a little bit snappier, “He’s your ex-boyfriend isn’t he?” Eyes opening in surprise, Reita was glad that Kai still didn’t know that, Uruha was in fact only an ex since yesterday.

“Yeah.” He mumbled, a hand resting on his stomach, he felt like he was going to fucking hurl. 

Kai came over and sat next to him, leaning his head on Reita’s shoulder. “Why didn’t you just tell me that?” Interlacing their fingers, Kai held his hand, his thumb running along his skin.

Shrugging, Reita knew exactly why. “I don’t know.” In an instant, Kai was off the couch and standing in front of him. “He cheated on you. Which means you still would have been together if he didn’t. You still love him, don’t you?”

Could the couch swallow him now please? How the hell could he answer that question? Of course he still fucking loved Uruha, no matter how hard he had torn out his heart and then trampled on it. Reita looked away, not knowing what to say, knowing that would make his answer obvious, but he couldn’t say it out loud.

“You do.” Kai said in a whisper, lowering to his knees. “You will love me in time.” A soft touch of Kai’s fingertips brushed against his face. The words haunted him, Kai seemed awfully confident in the fact. Could he ever love another man besides Uruha? Maybe it was time to try, since clearly Uruha was already over him.

Kai crawled on top of his lap, kissing him with a bit of force, then he pulled away. “I don’t think you should see Uruha again.”

“I can’t do that, he’s still my best friend.” Reita said sadly, all of his anger for his ex lover left him in that moment, would he see Uruha again? Maybe it would be better for them both to have some space. Still he didn’t like the way Kai was practically demanding that he shouldn’t see Uruha.

Another kiss to his lips, more chaste this time. “I can see he hurts you badly, I don’t want you hurt.”

Reita decided to drop the subject, hugging Kai close, they continued kissing, having a little make out session. Kai eagerly grinding against Reita’s lap made him pull away. “Kai…” He didn’t want to sound harsh, but he really wasn’t in the mood to have sex after this morning. 

“Don’t worry about it. What do you want to do today?” Kai slid off his lap, standing in front of him.

Reita didn’t want to do anything but curl up in bed with the rest of his bottle of whiskey. Looking at Kai’s expectant face, he didn’t know how to tell the man he wanted to be left alone. “I’m thinking about going back to bed.”

“Come on, you don’t want to sulk all day.” Kai said pulling him off the couch into an embrace. What if he did want to dwell in his sorrows all day? Nothing wrong with that, he thought.

“Actually, I do.” Reita said with a firm voice, soon regretting it when he saw Kai’s naturally cheerful face turn solemn. “Kai, I want to be alone for just a little while.”

Kai backed away and started gathering his belongings, going into the bathroom to change into his own clothes. When he came out, he seemed more himself, “We’re okay? Right?”

The same question that Reita had been repetitively asking himself in his own mind. He knew he was far from okay, but there was no point in worrying Kai further. The state of their relationship, well, Reita had no fucking idea. “Yeah, we’re okay. I’ll call you later.” Standing up, Reita made his way over to Kai, planting a light kiss on his lips, offering a smile. Then Kai left, leaving Reita alone with his rumbling thoughts.

Thoughts he wished to ignore, when he went to look for his bottle of whiskey, Reita found it empty, making him cuss out loud. Maybe he would treat himself to a nice drink at a bar; he would have more than enough money, now that Uruha was gone. And tonight he wouldn’t think about Uruha. Not fucking once. Starting now. Right now.

Throwing on clothes that may have smelt a little bit, probably because they hadn’t been washed yet, he sprayed on some cologne to mask his body odor. Then he was out the door, headed to a classy bar to indulge himself to a night of drinking. Or all day into night drinking. Shit it was still morning. Whatever, he just needed a drink. Who cares what time it was?

Heading any establishment that would serve him alcohol. It didn’t really matter to him where, as he constantly zoned out. When he found himself standing in front of the same restaurant that he saw Uruha and his new lover walk out of he shouted, “Fuck!” Scaring the people walking by. So much for not thinking about Uruha, even the depths of his subconscious mind couldn’t get the man out of his head.

Within minutes, he was sitting at the end of that bar in a dark corner, just where he liked it. Not caring if people were judging him for drinking more than two glasses of whiskey in the middle of the morning. Reita was trying hard to keep his composure, but with every sip, he felt himself loosing it slowly.

When the door jingled, out of reaction he looked towards the door. Only to hold his glass of liquor tighter when he saw Uruha’s new lover walk in with his arm wrapped around a woman, as they sat down at a table, Reita felt himself spiral out of control. Who the fuck did this guy think he was?

Already with a few drinks in him, he felt buzzed, and it probably wasn’t the best idea for him to be walking over to their table but he found himself doing it anyways. The closer he got to them; the more he noticed that they had binders full of papers on the table, things that were related to weddings. Were they getting married?

Deciding since they were so into their wedding planning, Reita made himself known, “Hey, Ruki was it?” The words were said through clenched teeth.

Ruki glanced up at Reita, standing up in a polite way of greeting while the woman continued to ignore what was going on around her. “Don’t think I caught your name.”

“Reita.” He snapped, he could feel his anger coming back to him. Not knowing why he was angry, either the fact this man was cheating on Uruha or the fact that this man had Uruha, while he didn’t. Whatever the case, he was fucking pissed.

“Reita, would you like to join us?” Ruki said sitting back down, pulling out a chair next to him. Reita stared at the man like he was insane, but he sat down anyways but not without a huff. This man was his only link to Uruha; maybe if he could stop fuming for one moment, he could actually see how his lifetime lover was doing.

“This is my fiancé Hina.” Ruki said, pointing to the woman who was still busy looking through the binders, what now appeared to be on wedding cakes. Maybe Reita was missing something here, but Ruki seemed to be calm about this whole situation.

“What about Uruha?” Reita said, keeping his voice level.

“Uruha?” Ruki looked at him then glanced at the ceiling in thought. “You think Uruha and I are together?” Was that such a horrible assumption? Ruki was practically hanging on Uruha earlier. Ruki’s eyes were on him again, “We aren’t.” Reita was dumbfounded at how the man had this conversation so casually in front of his fiancé. 

Since she didn’t seem to give a fuck, Reita asked what had been on his mind to begin with. “Where is he?”

“I don’t find it appropriate sharing his business with you.” The way that Ruki’s eyes were piercing through him, he knew the man was warning him. But of what, he didn’t know. How was it not any of his business, Uruha was his lover for fuck’s sake! 

“And how is that exactly?” Eyeing the man suspiciously, what was his deal?

“Because it’s his business and honestly, I don’t like your temper.” Reita wanted to lunge over the table and strangle the man. The worst part of it being that he was right. Uruha was his lover no more, he had no right to know what he was doing or where he was, he was just concerned. Also, he knew he had not given the best first impression to Ruki. Fucking temper is right, how else was he supposed to react?

“I’m just worried about him.” Sighing, Reita let his guard down, and began to relax, leaning on to the tabletop. Taking a glance at the woman, who was now listening to headphones, obviously not wanting anything to do with their conversation, Reita sipped on his drink.

“Then call him.” Ruki said it like calling Uruha would be the easiest thing in the world.

“He would just ignore my calls.” Reita finished his drink, now he was really fucking drunk and it wasn’t even noon yet. Fan-fucking-tastic.

There Ruki was staring at him again, as if he was trying to figure him out. “Understandable.” 

Understandable? Reita had enough of this shit; he was about to tell the guy off when Ruki’s cell phone started to ring, interrupting his drunken rage. Ruki pulled out his mobile, looking at the number with a quizzical face, then answered, “Hello?”

Reita couldn’t hear the other person on the line, but judging by the change in Ruki’s face and a glance towards him, he figured it might be Uruha, his heart fluttering. Instead of snapping the cell phone out of Ruki’s hand, he listened on, patiently. “Okay, why are you whispering?”

Ruki bent forward, covering one of his ears and said, “What?” If Reita hadn’t been worried enough before, now he really was once he saw Ruki’s face shift from his neutral expression to that of fear. “Hold on, I’ll be there in ten minutes.” 

When Ruki hung up he tapped on his fiancé’s arm to get her attention. “I need to go, you can get a ride right?” She just snorted and nodded; Ruki was out of his seat, already heading to the door. Reita scrambled out of his own seat, trying to catch up to the man.

“Hey!” He shouted at the retreated figure down the street, Reita stumbled towards the man’s car just as he was about to get in. “Was that Uruha?”

“Get in.” Ruki said in a hurry.

When they started to drive away, Reita felt dizzy, he really shouldn’t have drank so much on an empty stomach. Since he was currently in Ruki’s car, he thought it was safe to assume it was Uruha who called and maybe that he was in trouble. “What happened?” Now he noticed how much he was fucking slurring.

Ruki said nothing though and just kept driving ahead. With a sigh, Reita gave up for now, resting his gaze on the clock in the car as the outside world moving by so fast made him want to vomit. A short few minutes later, the car stopped, Reita went for the handle, only to hear Ruki’s cold voice, “Stay here.”

Unfortunately for his pride, he did as he was told. With his stare out the window, Reita saw Ruki just run into the house without knocking. While he waited, he closed his eyes, wishing he were sober. Uruha would be here, near him, he didn’t know what to do or say.

Movement to the side caught his eye, he saw Ruki walking behind Uruha, who had his head down, his lengthy locks hiding his face. Uruha quickly moved into the back seat, Reita turned around to look at him. Still hiding his face, he could hear that Uruha was crying. “Uruha, what happened?”

Startled by his voice, Uruha looked up at Reita. Taking one glance at his lover’s battered face, Reita was out the car door, running as best as he could to the house. He knew exactly where he was now, slamming the door open, he went through the place until he found Asshole sleeping away on his bed.

Reita grabbed the naked piece of shit’s foot, dragging him out of the bed, and let him fall to the floor, shocking him awake. “What the fuck?” Not giving him a chance, Reita threw a punch into his face when Asshole sat up, knocking him back to the floor.

“Mother fucker!” He punched the man again, hard in his stomach. The asshole groaned, holding his stomach in pain. That moment Reita let his guard down for too long, he was hit in the face hard and he stumbled back. Giving a forceful kick to the asshole’s face, Reita heard a satisfying crack. “Reita!” Looking behind him, Ruki was walking towards him, “Leave him alone or I’ll call the police.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Reita slurred, rubbing his sore face. Standing up, he went to the man fisting Ruki’s shirt. He let out a growl as he pushed Ruki back against the wall, and then turned back to the man on the floor, giving him another kick. There was no way he would let this guy get away with what he did.

“Fuck.” He heard Ruki mutter as he ran out of the room.

Reita didn’t know how many punches and kicks he gave the asshole but he was beginning to get tired, and the piece of shit wasn’t moving anymore. Thoughts cluttered his mind as his vision blurred, maybe he had killed him. Good. It was mostly a haze, his intoxicated mind only wanting to fulfill his need for revenge. Eventually, more than one person pulled him away, seemed like three people. He supposed Ruki really did call the police.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pure chaos...xD


	10. Chapter 10

Uruha could feel a trembling sensation, only to find out it was his own body shaking. Looking around, he took in his surroundings; the smell of the room would have given his location away if he were paying attention. He was dressed in a hospital gown; a blanket was draped over his bare legs. Another shiver went through him; it was so damn cold in here.

“Hey.” The soft voice calling from his side startled him; Ruki was sitting next to him, looking concerned. 

Trying to recall how he ended up here just resulted in his head hurting more than it already did, and man did it hurt. “What’s going on?”

Closing his eyes because the fluorescent lights were not helping his head at all, he heard Ruki let out a dry laugh. “You fainted.” Ruki put a hand through his hair and bit his lip. “You know, after we pulled Reita off…I don’t know his name.”

It all came back to him, Reita was beating on Aoi, Ruki and him struggled to pull him off, when they succeeded, Uruha looked down at Aoi and couldn’t recognize him anymore. He remembered throwing up and then nothing. His eyes went wide, “Where’s Reita? Is Aoi…?” The thought that Aoi might be dead ran across his mind, because he certainly looked like he was at the time. It had his gut twisting in knots.

Ruki shook his head, “The police are holding Reita for questioning and Aoi is here at the hospital in ICU.” A tear escaped from him as he let out a breath of frustration and relief. At least Aoi was alive, now he just had to hope that he would survive, being in ICU meant he was in real bad shape. But he knew the stubborn man would pull through, or at least he hoped so.

“They checked over your wounds, you have a broken nose and needed some stitches on your lip.” Ruki said so quiet, Uruha had to strain to hear it. Running a finger over his lip, Uruha could feel the thread going through his plump flesh making him wince. 

Uruha attempted to smile but it came out weak, “You don’t have to be here Ruki. I don’t want to trouble you more than I already have.”

“Don’t worry about it. Just relax and get some sleep.” Ruki grabbed his hand, stroking it softly. Giving the other a nod, to tired to argue, Uruha rested against his pillow and drifted off to sleep.

The next time he woke up, his head felt a little bit better. Ruki was nowhere in sight, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. The man did have a life, why should he be upset he left? The door to his room opened, Ruki sluggishly walked in looking exhausted, Uruha’s heart clenched at the sight. “Ruki?”

Ruki looked at him, instantly smiling, “How are you feeling?”

“I feel like I should be asking you that.” Ruki came and sat next to Uruha on the small hospital bed.

“I talked to your doctor, he said you could be released if you wanted. Also received a call from the police station. Reita has been set bail.” The other surprised Uruha by lying down next to him on the bed, letting out a sigh.

Uruha could feel Ruki’s body heat even through the blanket; he enjoyed the comfort of it. With closed eyes, Ruki spoke out again, “His bail is a million yen.” He couldn’t help but let his mouth fall open in shock. There was no way he had that kind of money. 

Titling his head, Ruki brushed his face against Uruha’s shoulder, “I can pay it if you want me too.”

“I couldn’t let you do that!” He said quickly, now he was beyond stunned.

“Uruha, I have plenty of money and I know you don’t want him sitting in jail. It’s my fault he is in there anyways.” Ruki was playing with his phone in his hands, waiting for Uruha to answer.

“Okay.” He said unsure, Uruha didn’t want Reita to be stuck in jail but he felt that Ruki was doing too much. Before he could change his mind, Ruki slid off the bed, “Alright, let’s go down there and get him out.” His clothes were tossed on to the mattress and then Ruki left the room. Trying to put on his clothes fast was a mistake, a sharp pain radiated from his ribs, making him pant out and proceed in slower movements.

When he was finally at least somewhat presentable, Uruha met with Ruki outside the hospital room. They went to the nurses’ station and Uruha was discharged. On the drive to the police station, Uruha was thankful that Ruki lacked music in his car. He couldn’t wait to get this over with, fill his prescriptions and sleep some more. But sleep where? Uruha glanced at Ruki who turned his head and offered him a smile. The man wouldn’t turn him away now, would he? Hopefully, his fiancé wouldn’t mind too much, last time she didn’t seem to care.

“You okay?” Ruki asked as he parked the car. Uruha looked at the ominous police station; not exactly sure he wanted to face Reita now. At the thought, his stomach clenched and his head throbbed even more. “I mean that’s a stupid question. Do you just want me to go in?”

As grateful Uruha was for the kind offer, Ruki had already done enough. It was time to man up and do something himself for a change, well minus the money part. He gave a simple nod and they went inside. Ruki stayed at the window filling out paperwork to process Reita’s bail, while Uruha went inside where they were releasing him. He let in a deep breath as he saw Reita come towards him, the police officer undoing his cuffs.

Reita’s face was colored purple under his right eye, the both of them must have looked pretty ridiculous, Uruha’s own complexion completely discolored. His pathetic excuse of a voice couldn’t even say ‘hey’, so Uruha just stood there waiting for the officer to be done.

It seemed Reita didn’t have a whole lot to say either; together they made their way to a bench while Ruki was still handling everything. Somehow, Uruha would find a way to repay the generous man. Together Reita and Uruha sat in silence, neither having anything to say, or perhaps it just hurt too much. Things of course always become worse, that was what he thought when he saw Kai coming into the station with a frenzied look. 

Uruha stood up too quickly, the pain in his head all gathered to the front of his forehead, making him wince and close his eyes. What he wasn’t expecting was a harsh shove to his chest. Eyes snapping open, Uruha stared at Kai as his brain tried to keep up with what just happened. Taking a step backwards, he bumped into someone, turning around he saw Ruki, who moved to stand in front of him, fighting his emotional mess of a battle.

“What the hell is your problem?” A voice snapped and it took a moment for Uruha to realize it was Ruki’s voice. He had never seen the man so heated, voice laced with venom he looked like he was about to start a brawl with Kai. While Uruha hid behind the shorter man like a coward, his eyes flickered to Reita, who stood motionless.

“My problem is him!” Kai shouted, his finger pointing at Uruha. Thankfully, they were in a police station, where this kind of drama couldn’t go on unchecked. A few officers separated them; Uruha still glanced at Reita wanting to shout out at him. But he could feel Ruki’s presence pulling him away. Reita dropped his head and walked away with Kai, that was when he knew it was officially over. He could do nothing but be led out of the station as well with Ruki’s arm cradling him.

After the confrontation, Ruki didn’t speak to him, probably because Uruha looked like a complete train wreck and was about to collapse into the waves of his emotions. Kindly, Ruki helped with getting his prescription filled (evening paying for it) and finally made it to Ruki’s penthouse, fiancé absent.

Ruki led him to a guest room, handing him a glass of water so he could take his pain medication. Lying on his side facing away from Ruki, he let out a content sigh, the mattress below him feeling like heaven. At first he stiffened when he felt a hand on his back, but as soon as Ruki started to gently rub his sore muscles he relaxed into the touch. 

Rousing from a drug induced slumber; Uruha opened his eyes, seeing that the room was hidden in darkness. Low voices could be heard from another room, he hoped it was just a television. As Uruha sat up, the sheets fell down against the bed, his stomach contracted violently. Sliding out of the bed and out of the room, Uruha ran into what he hoped was the bathroom. A small stream of liquid spewed from his mouth, then he continued to dry heavy into the toilet bowl. He heard a shuffle of feet in the doorway, instead of looking; he rested his head on the toilet seat as he regained his composure.

“You need to eat something.” Ruki called out softly. That was the last thing he wanted to do but he knew the man was right, he couldn’t remember the last time he actually ate.

“Okay.” Uruha stood up on shaky legs, Ruki handed him a cup of mouthwash. “Thanks.” He quickly rinsed his mouth, happy to be without the bile taste.

“No problem, do you want me to make you some miso soup?” 

“That sounds wonderful.” Uruha flashed his teeth, his lips curving up. His stomach rumbled in response, he laughed following Ruki into the spacious kitchen. The kitchen looked like it was straight out of magazine, Uruha was still admiring it when he felt Ruki’s gaze on him. 

“Don’t worry about Hina, she’s staying the night at her boyfriend’s house.” Ruki said with a smirk, Uruha just looked at him and blinked. Had he heard that correctly? “Boyfriend?” Was Ruki into the whole open relationship thing? This man was just full of surprises. 

“Yup. The only reason we are having a wedding is because our parents arranged it.” Ruki poured the soup into a bowl; Uruha hadn’t even noticed when he had started cooking. “Let’s just say her boyfriend isn’t one of the ‘elite status’ as her parents like to put it.” Placing the bowl of steaming hot miso in front of Uruha, Ruki leaned against the counter as Uruha sat on the tall bar seat.

“Wow.” No other words could be formed in his mind, Uruha knew there was something off about their relationship but he just assumed maybe that was how Ruki liked his women, not that he had any room to talk. Ruki laughed and then left him to eat his soup alone. Once it cooled down Uruha practically inhaled it, he decided to wash his dishes and then find Ruki.

He really wished he had held off for a few more moments before seeking Ruki out. Because standing in nothing more than a towel wrapped around his waist with hair dripping down broad shoulders was Ruki looking far too sexy. Even though it was a very damn good distraction, Uruha didn’t think Ruki would appreciate him gawking. “Um…” That was a good one, not obvious at all, Uruha thought. 

“Did you want a shower too?” Ruki said in his normal demeanor. Good, maybe he didn’t grasp Uruha was blatantly drooling over him. At this rate he would be taking a cold shower.

“S-sure.” Uruha stuttered out before running down the hall in the spare bathroom. For a minute he dreamed of what kind of lover Ruki must be, most likely the best kind, he is so attentive. Then he glanced at himself in the mirror and grimaced, even if Ruki did like men, why would he want discarded trash? A knock on the door made him jump, “Uruha, do you want me to find some clothes? I don’t think my pants will fit you but maybe Hina’s?” The thought of wearing women’s clothing brought back a sense of deprivation he had buried long ago.

“Whatever is fine!” Uruha raised his voice to be heard over the water he was running, trying to find the right temperature; he would be sticking with warm. Once he moved underneath the steady stream, Uruha found himself inching the temperature hotter a little bit every passing moment. It felt wonderful against his abused skin, but he had to get out sometime. He covered himself in a towel he found in the cupboard, making sure to shield his whole body.

Walking down the hallway, he went to the only source of light, which he figured was Ruki’s room. Uruha stood in the doorway, knocking on the frame. “Hey.” Ruki was lying on his bed shirtless with his glasses on and reading, Uruha tried to stay coherent. The shirtless man saved his spot in his book then removed himself from the bed, grabbing folded clothes off the dresser. “Here, I found a large shirt and some sweatpants that should fit.”

Uruha’s grip on his towel tightened, while his free hand accepted the clean clothes. “Thanks.” He went back into the bathroom and changed. Feeling a little bit more relaxed, he stepped into Ruki’s room, a little hesitant at first but Ruki smiled and beckoned him to come over to his bed, patting the empty side. It felt like he was making a huge mistake but at the same time, exactly what Uruha wanted, even if it was just casual company.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Ruki gestured to a large flat screen mounted on the wall across from the bed. Managing a smile as wide as his injury would allow, Uruha lounged on Ruki’s bed, suddenly he felt young again, at a sleepover. As ridiculous as that sounded. “Yeah, what did you have in mind?” He slipped under the comforter; Ruki put his book down on the nightstand and did the same, grabbing the television remote.

“Whatever you want.” Placing the remote in Uruha’s hand, Ruki said. Flipping through the channels, Uruha found a movie that just started, judging by the description it was a romance. “This okay?” He said quietly as the beginning credits began to role. Ruki nodded, turning off the light beside him, engulfing them both in the dark besides the illumination from the TV.

Uruha settled into the mattress making himself comfortable, there were quite a few pillows on the bed, just enough so that they were both sitting up slightly. It was beyond impossible to pay any attention to the movie; Uruha snuck a glance at Ruki who appeared to almost be sleeping with half lidded eyes. At the sight he couldn’t help but express what he felt with the slightest curve of his lips. 

Snuggling closer so he could still look at Ruki’s face but now he could feel his warmth and the man didn’t seem to notice or care, his eyes now closed. Looking at Ruki’s plump lips, Uruha wanted to plant a kiss on them, wondering what they felt like against his own. Instead, he leaned closer to Ruki giving him a light peck on his cheek. A hand crept into his hair, startling Uruha and Ruki’s eyes snapped open. Through his parted lips he gasped and Ruki took the opportunity to fill the gap with his own lips. With their mouths connected, Uruha felt a flutter in the pit of his stomach, he felt torn between a new affection and a forever-tainted guilty conscience. Still, he couldn’t fight the euphoric feeling that was beginning to wash over him.

Moving closer under the covers, Uruha slipped his leg between Ruki’s as the man pulled his head down, pressing their lips together harder. Uruha let out a moan of pain and pleasure, instinct pulling him away, his split lip getting in the way. The hand in his hair moved to his face, cupping his cheek, Ruki whispered, “Sorry.”

Was Ruki sorry for the kiss or for hurting his lip? Feeling self conscious, Uruha just hummed. 

A few days ago Uruha thought he was confused, but now he didn’t even know what was happening. Panic suddenly filled him, he tried to retract himself away from Ruki, but the other gently kept him in place. As if nothing happened, Ruki closed his eyes again trying to drift off to sleep. Uruha rested his head on Ruki’s shoulder and the man kept his arms around him protectively. Soon his tense body began to unwind, he could feel his own eyes struggling to stay open. How could an endearment feel so wrong, but so right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for mistakes, I'm still pretty sick and I tried the best I could... ^^;


	11. Chapter 11

“I told you to stay away from him. You could loose your job Reita!” Kai had been lecturing him the whole way to his apartment and he didn’t stop as they stood in his bedroom. “Are you even listening?” Now his voice was gentler and less threatening. But no, he wasn’t fucking listening. The last thing on his mind right now was his sorry excuse of a job. He had just let the love of his life slip away with another man. No matter what Ruki said, he could see that the man was attracted to Uruha. Don’t even get him started on that.

“Sorry. I’m just tired.” He replied, making himself comfortable by sitting on Kai’s bed.

Kai came up behind on him on his knees and started rubbing Reita’s shoulders. “You need to just relax and take some time off work.” That sounded so fucking good. But he highly doubted he could just skip work because he had relationship problems. That was if he even still had his job after they found out about his arrest.

“I can call the boss and tell him we both need some time off for awhile.” Kai kissed his shoulder.

Reita let out a content sigh while Kai continued to knead his back. Placing light kisses along the back of his neck. Maybe he just needed to let out his frustrations another way. In a quick movement, Reita turned around and pushed Kai back on to the bed as he crawled on top of him. Kai’s face didn’t show shock but instead a lustful smile that made Reita hard at the sight.

Pressing his clothed erection against Kai’s thigh, Reita growled then lowered his head to capture the lips in front of him. Reita knew why he couldn’t stay away from Kai; he was addicted to him; his taste and his sounds. Kai let out a moan as Reita moved away from his mouth and sucked on his neck. 

“Reita…” 

Moving back a bit, Reita looked at Kai and placed another kiss on his lips. “You’re so beautiful.” He brushed a finger down Kai’s blushing face. Reita pressed their mouths back together, and bit down on Kai’s bottom lip, earning him another lovely sounding moan. With his left hand, Reita pulled up his lover’s thigh, giving it a squeeze before placing it over his hip.

Rocking his body forward, he felt Kai’s erection against his. Reita thrust hard against Kai, making his lover gasp loudly and arch off the bed. Having had enough with the teasing, Reita discarded his boxers and Kai did the same. Already Reita could smell the musky scent coming from their heated bodies.

Gripping Kai’s jaw hard, Reita looked at him for a moment, indulging in his submission. Their bodies were pressed against each other’s again, Reita leaving frantic kisses on Kai’s face. Kai moved his hands along his back as he pushed his leaking cock at Kai’s entrance. 

Kai spread his legs wider welcoming him, so he slid right in and Kai let out a whine. Giving a few more thrusts there was enough pre-cum to make his cock move easily in and out. Reita could feel his lover digging his nails into his bare ass; he picked up his pace and moved his hand around Kai’s neck. Pressing against Kai’s throat, he knew he was restricting his airflow but he couldn’t stop. The little pants and moans that Kai usually resounded were silenced. He could feel Kai’s leg kicking against him but Reita just kept pounding into him and kept his hand in place.

When Reita saw Kai’s eyes flicker he let go, just moments away from unconsciousness, his lover sucked in a huge breath. Not being able to help himself, Reita stilled and came inside of Kai. Exhausted, Reita let himself collapse on top of Kai, who was now holding on to him and fucking himself on Reita’s softening dick. Kai let out a haggard breath as he clutched on to Reita tighter, his body shook and then relaxed.

Reita rested his sweaty forehead against the mattress and Kai’s head. “I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what came over him, but he realized that he was treading on dangerous grounds.

Turning on his side, Kai looked at him with hooded eyes, “Sorry for what?” He made a humming sound, “That was the best sex I have ever had.” Kai nuzzled his face closer, giving him a light kiss on the lips. Reita’s mind was completely shut down. All he could do was hold Kai until he finally fell asleep, both of them ignoring the mess they were lying in.

Waking up to a warm mouth on his cock was a most welcome surprise, when his eyes opened, Reita already felt like he was going to cum. “Fuck.” There was Kai bobbing his head on his aching erection, looking back at him. Swirling his tongue over the tip, Kai smiled at him then took him back into his mouth. Kai left his cock and moved up his body with swollen lips.

“It’s about time you woke up.” Kai didn’t waste anytime and sat down on Reita’s cock, sinking down at an agonizing pace. 

Reita held on to Kai’s hips and guided him to ride his cock. He was definitely not going to last that fucking long. And he didn’t. Lifting his hips off the bed, he pushed himself further into that tight heat and came. Kai jerked himself off to completion and again they were cuddled up on the soiled bed.

“You’re going to wear me out.” Reita brushed a strand of Kai’s hair away from his face.

Kai trailed a finger down Reita’s chest and licked his lips. “I highly doubt that.”

“I’m an old man, you know.” Reita let out a laugh, he certainly felt that fucking way.

“Hardly.” Kai remarked giving him a kiss and Reita could taste himself on those lips.

“I vote we stay in bed all day.” Reita snuggled back into the bed but soon felt his bladder had other plans. Letting out a groan, he made his way to the bathroom. 

“I agree!” Kai called out after him. “I’m calling work and letting them know we will both not be coming in.”

After relieving himself, he dug around his discarded clothes for his phone. He had a message from Uruha; he looked at it decided whether or not he should open it. Truthfully, he really wanted to know what the message said but he didn’t think he could handle it. Fuck it. 

_I’m sorry._ That’s all it said. Maybe he felt there should have been a whole essay of a text but all he got was a sorry. Slamming the phone down on the nightstand with more force than he intended, he went back to bed.

“What is it?” Kai was looking at him with an expression that Reita now recognized that would appear on his lover’s face when he talked about Uruha. It being a mixture of jealously and anger. “Reita…”

“Don’t worry about it.” He tried to give a smile as a peace offering, but Kai wasn’t letting it go.

“It’s Uruha again, isn’t it?” Kai didn’t even bother to hide his distaste on the subject.  
“You really need to stay away from him. Look how miserable he makes you! Just forget him.”

Maybe Kai was right, it was time to move on but how could he possibly forget a lifetime of memories with Uruha? “How do I do that?”

“You have me and…” Kai slid off the bed and walked to his dresser, pulling open the top drawer. Curious, Reita stood up and walked next to Kai peering at what he held in his hands. “This will help too.” 

“What is that?” Reita was no idiot, he could tell that Kai was holding some kind of drug, but which one, he didn’t know.

“Heroin.” Kai said it simply, but Reita could feel his stomach knot up, he shifted to cross his arms against his chest.

“Are you fucking crazy?” Reita looked at the black tar, “That’s some serious shit.”

“It’s fine. Do I look like a junkie?” Kai sat down on the bed still naked, with a packed pipe and lighter in hand. “Do you want to forget or not?”

Of course he did, feeling like there would be no harm done, Reita sat down next to Kai and watched as his lover lit up the bowl, inhaling the smoke it produced. Reita continued to stare as Kai leaned back against the wall and exhaled a cloud of smoke, the awful smell masking the scent of their previous lovemaking. 

Kai passed him the pipe; with slow hands Reita grabbed it and the lighter. He mimicked Kai and lit it; the smoke hitting his lungs felt harsh causing him to cough. “Take it easy.” Kai said, looking at him with drowsy eyes.

His lover took the paraphernalia away, Reita couldn’t say if he smoked more or not. Reita felt like he was sinking into the bed, through his clouded mind he could tell that Kai was snuggled against his side. He felt the corners of his lips curling up; this was amazing, his mind was clear of everything. The only thing he experienced was how great his body felt.

When he tried to speak, it almost felt like a task as his chest became heavy. “Wow.”

Kai chuckled and snuggled even closer, his head resting on Reita’s shoulder as he rubbed Reita’s chest with a natural comfort. “Feel better?”

Reita gave a nod and buried his face in Kai’s hair breathing in the scent. “Much.”

When he came out of his drug-induced coma, Reita felt the pain back in his face and had a slight headache. Kai was still sleeping on his chest, breathing shallow, with their legs intertwined. He felt to comfortable to leave his position; he felt his dick stir, suddenly aware of his intimate position with Kai.

Reita ran a hand up and down Kai’s back, his lover stirring from his sleep. “Hey.” Kai mumbled as he half opened his eyes.

“Hey.” He said right back, a comfortable silence falling over them. Kai moved up so his face was level with Reita’s and gave him a kiss. Reita’s cock twitched, of course Kai would notice.

With a mischievous smile Kai wrapped his fingers around Reita’s cock in a tight grip. Moaning, Reita searched for Kai’s mouth again and connected their lips as the hand on his dick began to pump him. He thrust into Kai’s hand until the hand left him. Reita let out a whimper and looked at his lover.

“Promise me you aren’t going to see or talk to Uruha again.” Kai demanded as his fingers brushed over the tip of Reita’s cock.

“Are you not going to let me cum until I promise?” Giving his lover a smirk, he tried to thrust into Kai’s hand again but Kai wouldn’t allow it.

Crawling on top of him, Kai’s face was stern as he looked down at Reita. “I’m serious.”

“This is becoming a repetitive conversation that I’m not very fond of.” Reita let out a sigh, his once erection almost completely limp.

“No, you just keep avoiding it. Once you promise me, we can forget about him together.” Leaning down, Kai planted a kiss on Reita’s neck as he continued to whisper against his skin. “I know you were fucking him while you were fucking me.”

He couldn’t help but tense up at Kai’s confession of knowing the truth. Though Kai grinding against him was not the reaction he was expecting. “Kai—” Retia tried to come up with a particular kind of excuse, there had to be some logical reason for fucking two people at the same time, right?

A finger placed against his mouth made him not retort any excuse his senseless mind might have come up with. “I don’t want to hear why. All that matters is that you are here with me now and not with him.”

Reita felt his pulse quicken, this was when he made his decision. And as of right now it seemed an easy one. “I promise I wont see Uruha again.”

“Or talk. No more texting.” Kai licked Reita’s collarbone and bit down with another grind of his hips, their cocks rubbing together. 

Again he was painfully hard, “Fuck,” He let out a groan as Kai continued to hump him. “I promise no more Uruha.” Apparently the dreadful conversation was over, Kai was on his mouth kissing him with dominance he had never felt before. While Reita was distracted with the kiss, Kai had already prepped himself and was pushing down Reita’s cock.

They broke apart, Kai panted as he bounced on his cock. Reita looked at him with his hands roaming over his body, loving the way his muscles under his skin flexed with each movement. 

Switching their position, he flipped Kai on his back and pounded into him, lifting his legs over his shoulders, going as deep as he could inside. A hand on his head pushed him down so that their lips could meet again. With their mouths still lingering, Kai let out a whine, his breath hot against Reita’s lips. He could feel Kai’s inner walls constricting around his cock, causing him to let out a groan of pleasure. 

Both of them were basking in the afterglow of their orgasms. Sliding his arms underneath Kai, he held on to his shoulders as he rested his head next to his lovers. Sliding in and out of Kai, he felt he could go again and his lover let out a gasp in approval. 

Instead he just thrust into Kai every few minutes, loving the feeling of being inside of him. Both of them being combined like this, Reita felt he could do this. Biting down on Kai’s neck, he growled, “I love you.” A part of him truly did love Kai, in his own way, maybe not like he did with Uruha, but he still did nonetheless. 

Kai lifted his hips off the bed with a shudder, making Reita slip into him deeper. “Say it again.”

Fisting a handful of Kai’s hair, Reita moved over his lover’s ear and whispered, “I love you Kai.” He was brought closer as Kai kissed all over his face, either on purpose or in a fit of passion that he didn’t care where he was aiming. Reita began to steadily thrust into him now.

“I love you so much.” Kai murmured over his lips as they began another round of sex. Then all that mattered was Kai and he, together.

Everything else was momentarily forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend commented that there was so much sex going on in this chapter that Kai would get pregnant! Hahaha, I promise, this fic won't get THAT crazy xP Anyways, don't know what to say. I hope I can keep up with updates. I still need to finish the jrockyaoi and direngrey_yaoi requests because I have been procrastinating on them ^^; Ah man, I'm not happy with this at all, I almost didn't want to post it.
> 
> Well, I hope you all still enjoy and comments are love <3


	12. Chapter 12

That morning Uruha woke up in Ruki’s arms, for some reason he thought it would have been to the open cold space of the bed instead. All thoughts of this being wrong flew out of his mind, this felt beyond right. He snuggled closer into the warmth of Ruki’s chest, interlacing their fingers as Ruki’s hand rested on his chest.

Uruha could feel Ruki’s erection pressed against his back; he didn’t know what he should do. Of course he wanted to go underneath the covers and have a little taste but he wasn’t so sure Ruki would appreciate that. But then again what man wouldn’t want that?

Testing out his theory, Uruha decided to move against Ruki so that his erection pressed against his ass instead, Uruha silencing a moan. The arm wrapped around his chest tightened, making Uruha stop. Ruki moved Uruha so he was on his back, as Ruki hovered over him slightly while resting on his side. “Uruha…”

Looking at the curves of Ruki’s lips, he wanted nothing more than them to be upon his own. But judging by the look on Ruki’s face that probably wasn’t going to happen. Before Ruki could say the words that he was obviously having trouble over. Uruha moved to get out of the bed, “I’m sorry! I should go.”

Ruki wrapped his arms around him before he could fully remove himself from the mattress. “No, you don’t have to go.” He could feel lips on his neck, just floating over his skin. “I don’t want you to go.”

Uruha relaxed in the hold and tried to laugh, “Honestly, you are sending me some very mixed signals.” Turning his head, he looked at Ruki, who looked genuinely hurt. Lying back down, he held his hands around Ruki’s neck bringing him down on top of him, and he didn’t seem to protest.

They stayed like that for a while; Ruki just stared into his eyes as if trying to make a decision on something. Uruha decided to try again, placing his lips over Ruki’s; he moved his bottom lip in between, sucking lightly on Ruki’s top lip. He let out a moan when Ruki pushed his erection against his hip. Ruki finally responded into the kiss, sliding his tongue inside Uruha’s mouth. Excited, Uruha bucked his own hips upwards off the bed, his growing erection pressing against Ruki’s leg.

Ruki jumped backwards, completely off the bed. Letting out a sigh, Uruha also got off the bed and tried to find his clothes. “Ruki, this is obviously a really bad idea.”

Hands on his arms stilled him as he packed his bag, “No, please. I’m sorry. I’m just not used to…”

Seeing Ruki turn into a rambling mess was entertaining but that didn’t change the fact there was a huge issue here. “My dick freaks you out, got it.” And he didn’t have time for that, no matter how sweet Ruki was to him. Wait, what the hell was he thinking?

“I’ve never been with a guy before.” Ruki whispered as his hands gripped Uruha’s shoulders. “But I really like you.” They leaned against each other, Ruki interlaced their fingers again, and Uruha couldn’t help but think how cute he was acting, even if it was slightly irritating.

“I really like you too.” Uruha wrapped his arms around Ruki’s shoulders and dared to lean in and give him a chaste kiss on the lips, Ruki pressed back deepening the kiss and moaning. He felt hands slide over his waist and under his shirt, making him gasp at the touch. “Now you’re just teasing me.”

Humming, Ruki held him close, planting kisses in his hair. “I want to take you out on a date.”

Uruha giggled at the ticklish kisses, “Really? Would you like it better if I went dressed as a woman?”

“I don’t care how you dress, you will always be beautiful.” Ruki kissed his cheek and then moved away.

Uruha brightened at what Ruki said, deciding to press it a little further. “You really wouldn’t care if I was wearing makeup?”

“No, why would I?” Ruki looked at him wanting an explanation that Uruha didn’t really want to give. “I have to get to work, you make yourself comfortable, okay?” Ruki left the room, when he came back fully dressed; Uruha was sitting on the bed, unsure of what to do.

“I’ll be back around five, then we are going out for dinner. If you want, you can raid Hina’s room, all the stuff in there is mostly for show anyways.” Uruha felt his heart flutter. Not only was Ruki accepting what Reita never would, he was embracing it.

“Thank you.” He said in a hushed tone. 

Ruki came up to him and gave him a kiss; Uruha could taste peppermint and hoped his own breath wasn’t too horrible. “I’ll see you later.” 

“Bye.” Uruha said still dumbfounded. 

The numbers on the clock read that it was half past noon. Ruki must be a late sleeper just like himself and he smiled at the thought. That left him with quite a few hours to dress himself up. First he took a shower, while bathing, he tried to refrain from jerking off but failed. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Ruki was like in bed.

Just remembering him drenched from the shower with a towel loosely hanging off his hips was enough to get Uruha off in a few strokes. Uruha really hoped that Ruki would get over his penis phobia very quickly; he wasn’t one to go long without sex. Though he would rather have Ruki make love to him, he blushed as he thought about it. Rinsing the rest of his release off his hand, he stepped out of the shower, putting on a convenient bathrobe that was placed in the cupboard.

Inside Hina’s room, he saw a large vanity full of cosmetics; he let his hand roam over the different varieties of foundation and eyeliner that weren’t even touched. Sitting down on the stool, he grabbed a foundation that matched his skin color. After successfully putting it on, it hid the shadow of where his mustache would naturally grow, giving him a more feminine appearance.

Next he grabbed black eyeliner and lined his eyes with it along with some mascara, making his eyes stand out, it also helped lengthen his lashes. He added some black eye shadow as well. Settling for a light pink gloss for his mouth, he puckered his lips together to spread the lipstick.

Approving of his face, he started on styling his hair. After drying it, he curled it and then pinned most of it to his right side. Now he just had to find something to wear that wouldn’t make him look ridiculous. 

After much debate he settled on a black long sleeve shirt with black leggings, good thing Hina was the same height as him. And a grey shaw wrap with a matching grey skirt. His black boots went well with the outfit or at least he thought so. Looking in the mirror, he smiled as he thought he could easily pass as a woman. Though as soon as he spoke he would give it away.

While he waited for Ruki to come back home, he cleaned up around the house and then watched some television. For the first time in weeks he wished he had some of his materials so that he could paint again. Maybe he could ask Ruki if he would be willing to buy him some, as he really didn’t want to go back to his old apartment anytime soon.

“Don’t think about him.” He whispered to himself. Easier said then done but thankfully he heard the door open and Ruki walked in. “Hey.”

“Hey—” Ruki stopped when he saw him. “Wow.”

“How was your day sweetheart?” Uruha mimicked a women’s voice, trying to hold in a laugh.

“It would have been better if you were there, honey.” Ruki emphasized the last word and pulled Uruha into an embrace. A kiss was placed next to his ear, “You look beautiful.”

Ruki sure did know how to sweet-talk; Uruha would never get tired of hearing him say that. “Where are we going?”

“Just some restaurant.” Ruki said heading towards his room to get changed into his usual black suit attire. 

Not much longer they were walking into what Ruki called ‘some restaurant’ which was actually a very extravagant top-notch eatery. Uruha felt a little out of place and often wondered if people could tell if he was a man. Ruki’s smile kept him grounded. 

They were escorted to a half circle booth, Ruki’s hand eased over his back guiding him inside, where they sat next to each other, which Uruha enjoyed. Out in the dining room they had a live band playing, Uruha couldn’t help but love how cheesy and romantic the place was with its dim lighting. 

When they settled into the booth, Ruki put a hand on Uruha’s thigh, rubbing the palm of his hand on his leggings, slipping under his skirt. Uruha bit his lip, tasting the sweet taste of his lip-gloss; it almost felt like Ruki was purposefully trying to slowly kill him with the thick sexual tension.

A waiter came to their table and Ruki ordered a bottle of champagne, which probably cost more than Uruha wanted to know. Uruha kept his voice to himself when the waiter was around, not wanting to embarrass Ruki, even though he truly thought that his date wouldn’t mind at all.

When their champagne arrived, Ruki ordered them both food, Uruha trusting Ruki’s taste. Both with glasses in hand, Ruki smirked at him, his hand still resting on Uruha’s thigh. “Am I doing alright?”

Uruha almost spit out his drink, “You are doing perfect. How the hell are you single?” Truthfully, as weird as it sounded to him, Uruha felt like a damn princess. 

Putting down his glass, Ruki turned to him in all seriousness, “I was hoping after tonight, I wouldn’t be single.” His heartbeat became more noticeable; the music in room began to fade into the background, this was it. Ruki, an almost perfect man, asking him to become his and his only, even with his past. 

“Ruki…” Uruha’s curved lips parted as he breathed out his name. The hand on his thigh traveled up his body and stopped on his neckline, Ruki rubbed the back of his neck gently and moved forward capturing Uruha’s sweet lips. Uruha let his hands slide up Ruki’s chest, “I want you.” This was complete torment; the only hunger he felt was for Ruki’s love, and well, his cock.

“I want you too.” Ruki moved his hand on top of Uruha’s bringing it to his mouth and kissing it. “But we haven’t even had our appetizers yet.” Uruha let out a groan but couldn’t help but smile wide at Ruki’s mischievous smirk. 

Sitting through an entire three-course meal with a hard on that was tucked away was not only painful but also a complete turn on. During dinner, Ruki kept up with his light touches against his thigh, making Uruha’s skin burn at every touch. Never had he been so turned on before in his life, he was on the verge of cumming every time Ruki gave his inner thigh a stroke.

The car ride back to Ruki’s penthouse was even worse, Uruha couldn’t help but squirm in his seat and Ruki’s smirk only made him want to bend over right then and there and suck Ruki’s cock like his life depended on it. Then there was the elevator ride, where tonight other people in Ruki’s building decided to fuck with his fate and enter, leaving them with four other people. Ruki stood close to Uruha, as he leaned against the wall trying to keep in his moans, as Ruki’s hand not so secretly rubbed his ass. 

Finally as soon as Ruki opened the door to his penthouse, Uruha slammed him against the wall in a desperate kiss, kicking the door shut. He didn’t care if Ruki still had a dilemma with his dick; he rubbed their erections together. Ruki grabbed his hips and flipped their position, pinning Uruha’s hands above his head as he continued to explore the inner walls of Uruha’s mouth with his tongue.

Hands gripped his thighs and lifted him up, automatically he wrapped his long legs around Ruki’s torso as Ruki’s hands moved to massage his ass. Uruha moaned into Ruki’s mouth, still moving his hips in erratic humps against Ruki. Their kiss had turned frenzied as Uruha couldn’t keep his mouth from shutting as he constantly let out moans, Ruki moved to the side of his mouth, still kissing, with his hands frantically trying to pull down Uruha’s leggings. 

Finally with his leggings removed, he had nothing on his lower half except the skirt and he could feel Ruki’s clothed bulge rub against his naked entrance. Ruki released his hands and held on to him as he carried Uruha away from the wall into his bedroom, both of them falling on top of the bed in the same position, Uruha’s legs still tightly wrapped around Ruki.

Their lips connecting again, Uruha felt himself arching off the bed wanting to be filled. “Ruki.” 

Ruki moved to suck on his neck while rummaging through the drawer next to the bed as Uruha quickly unzipped Ruki’s pants. Uruha could vaguely hear the sounds of a condom wrapper being torn open and the pop of a cap, which he assumed to be, lube. Uruha could feel pressure at his entrance, through his half closed eyes he saw Ruki staring down at him, shaking arms holding his trembling legs, and everything seemed to stop. “You’re so beautiful.”

Uruha lifted his hips off the bed and impaled himself over Ruki’s cock. Ruki collapsed on top of him and released a quivering breath. They both stayed still for a moment, Uruha held on to Ruki by gripping his shoulders, burying his face into Ruki’s neck. And then Ruki pushed all the way in. Uruha cried out as Ruki fucked him fast, the sounds of their skin slapping together echoing throughout the room.

Just as he felt himself about to cum, Ruki slackened his pace and placed kisses along his sweaty neck, and pulled the damp hair away from his face. The slow roll of Ruki’s hips was enough to make him almost cum, keeping him on the brink of orgasm. “Ruki, please.” He begged.

A sharp thrust made him cry out again, nails digging into Ruki’s shoulders. “Please what baby?”

“You’re literally killing me.” Uruha whispered; his eyes shut tight as Ruki finally began to thrust into him faster. Not much longer Uruha was cumming against the fabric of the skirt he was wearing. Making sure Ruki would cum with him, he clenched around Ruki’s cock. Ruki gave a few more thrusts before stilling, Uruha wish he could feel his hot cum fill him up, the only thing missing from this amazing moment.

After they both recovered, Ruki pulled out, tying off the soiled latex and threw into the wastebasket near the nightstand while Uruha used the skirt to wipe himself clean then threw it on the floor. Then Ruki pulled Uruha’s back against his chest, their sweat slick bodies easily fitting together. “Uruha.”

Uruha was almost dozing off to sleep, after having what he thought to be the most mind-blowing sex he ever had, at least in awhile. “Yeah?”

Ruki kissed his shoulder, the arm around him tightening, “Will you be mine?”

Not missing a single beat Uruha replied, “Yes.”

That meant no more Reita, or Aoi. And at the moment, Uruha was fine with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you know me, you should have seen this coming xD (I love crossdressing Uruha)  
> So since I am literally insane, I was thinking about starting yet another GazettE fic... -.-  
> But I was debating whether or not if I should post it as I go or just write it out and post it when I am finished. It seems that I am in this state where all I want to do is write Gazette fics lol. I have a MEJIBRAY and Lycaon fic that I started but I'm all meh.
> 
> /rambling
> 
> Comments are love <3


	13. Chapter 13

It had been over two fucking months since he had last seen Uruha. Usually, his ex-lover rarely crossed through his mind until recently. More than once, Kai tried to clear out the studio that Reita had left untouched. Knowing or hoping, that one day Uruha would come back to it, to him.

“What are you thinking about baby?” Kai murmured against his shoulder. In this situation, he found it best to tip toe around what he was actually thinking about.

“Thinking about what we should do today.” Lying had come easily to him now.

“You know what I would say to that.” True he did, more drugs and sex all day. A routine that had become Reita’s life after he lost his job, after he lost Uruha. Luckily, he had enough savings to float along and it helped that he never had to pay for their habit, that was Kai’s job. 

Truth was he missed going outside, feeling the sunlight on his skin and going to those stupid art gallery openings that Uruha always dragged him to when they used to be good together. “Don’t you want to go somewhere?”

“Why when I have everything I need right here?” Kai snuggled into his back and hummed, probably about to fall back to sleep. But Reita wanted to at least get out of the bed, he moved out of Kai’s hold and stretched. In the drawer of the bedside table, he kept a tin, which held his pipe and heroin. When he opened it however, he found it was almost empty.

Nudging Kai in the shoulder, Reita groaned. “Kai we need more.” Placing the last bit of tar into the pipe, he used his foot to give Kai a light kick. That startled him awake, “What?”

“We need more.” Reita said, then lit up the pipe and inhaled the drug. The rush wasn’t as strong as it was the first time he tried it. Kai kept telling him that injecting it would be better but Reita wanted nothing to do with that.

Sitting up, Kai took the pipe and took a hit before passing it back then standing up. “Fine. Wasn’t it you that wanted to go somewhere? How about you come with me?”

Picking up drugs weren’t exactly the outing that Reita had in mind. “No thanks.” Kai just scoffed at him and proceeded to get dressed. 

Instead of a blissful experience, Reita just felt numb and a bit spacy, but it was good enough for now. Giving him a longer than necessary kiss on the lips, Kai said goodbye and went out to find more of their unhealthy habit.

The wise thing to do now would be clean up his mess of an apartment and maybe scout the Internet for a job opening. But he doubted anyone would hire him with the arrest and assault still so fresh. When the fuck did his life become such a fucking mess? And how many times has he asked himself that question? He wanted to blame Uruha for everything that happened, but he knew that it was his own damn fault. 

Standing up almost seemed to be a challenge, he probably smoked too much, he leaned on the wall for support as the room continued to spin around him. “Fuck.” He really needed to get it together. A loud knock came from the apartment door and Reita couldn’t fathom who the hell would be coming here, unless Kai forgot something, again, like his keys or mobile.

His feet never left the ground and his hands kept him steady on the wall as he shuffled his way over to the door and opened it without thinking. Fucking forgot he was straight up naked. Matters were made worse when he saw that it was Uruha standing on the other side. His ex-lover’s eyes went wide, an adorable blush tinted his cheeks and he held a hand to his mouth. “Oh my god, Reita.” It’s not like he had never seen it before. Although through his hazed mind, all he saw was that Uruha was wearing a band around his ring finger, on his left hand. On instinct he grabbed Uruha’s hand, “What is this?”

Uruha snatched his hand back and avoided eye contact, “Reita, can you please put some clothes on?” Clothes were the least of his worries right now; he couldn’t help but grow furious.

“What the fuck are you marrying the librarian now? Or did you find some other sugar daddy to hook up with?” Ignoring the shocked look on Uruha’s face, he continued his rant. “Hate to break it to you but men can’t get married to each other.”

“I’m here for literally thirty seconds and you are already attacking me! It’s none of your business; I just came to get my things. I’ve been trying to call you but your phone was disconnected!” Uruha raised his voice at him then helped himself into the apartment and headed to his studio. True his phone was off because Reita stopped paying it, most of the time if he needed to he would use Kai’s mobile.

“You can’t just come in here and take your shit. Technically it’s mine.” Reita couldn’t stop the words that came from his angered mind instead of his heart. Sounding cruel seemed like the only option at this point. If the shit stayed, maybe Uruha would come back again but at this rate he wouldn’t be working anything out with him anytime soon.

“How is it yours?” Uruha pushed opened the door to his studio; still making sure his eyes didn’t land on Reita’s naked body.

“This is my apartment, everything in it is legally mine.” Reita countered, standing next to Uruha, he felt his eyes droop for a moment.

Stopping for a second, Uruha finally looked at him and his ex-lover frowned. “Are you...high?”

Was it really that obvious? Reita didn’t know how to respond, suddenly he was feeling vulnerable and weak, a far cry from the man Uruha used to love. “Just pack your shit and get out of here.” That was his cue to leave but Reita stayed still as Uruha looked over him with concern. It was a little too fucking late to be pitied now.

“Reita,” Uruha stopped and fumbled with his hands, “Are you okay?”

Gritting his teeth, Reita snarled. “I’m fine.”

“Really? Because you’re standing there high on who knows what, naked, and your apartment is a mess.” Sitting down on the small sofa, Uruha glanced around the room and sighed, then gazed back up at Reita. “I’ve been really worried about you.”

It took a substantial amount of strength to hold his tongue, now having a good look at Uruha, his heart raced. His ex-lover was more beautiful then he remembered, his hair was longer and curled, and he wore eyeliner, something that had Reita fumbling over his words. With a mind full of lost love and lust, he moved on instinct, and kneeled on the floor. Taking Uruha by surprise when he grabbed him and brought their lips together. 

Uruha tasted so much sweeter than Kai, he had missed this and needed it. Not breaking their kiss, Reita crawled on top of Uruha’s lap and pressed his growing erection to the cloth of his ex-lovers shirt. He felt Uruha run his hands up his naked back and moan back into their kiss, Reita moved his tongue inside Uruha’s parted lips and rocked his hips.

It all came to a bitter end, when Uruha shoved him off his lap, knocking him to the floor. “Reita, stop it.” Uruha panted and stood up. He began putting his supplies in the empty boxes left around the room. No fucking way he could stop. Placing his hands on Uruha’s waist, he turned him around and shoved him against the wall. He bucked his hips against Uruha’s thigh and groaned then he claimed those bow shaped lips. Uruha whimpered against his mouth and it only urged him on more. Trailing his mouth to the side of Uruha’s face, he continued to hump his thigh, not caring how desperate and absurd he might look. “I miss you so much.”

Taking ahold of his shoulders, Uruha pushed him back, he was crying. “I miss you too.” Now completely off of his ex-lover he held his head down in shame as Uruha whispered again. “But I-I can’t.” Uruha tucked some of his hair behind his ear and exhaled. “Please, just let me pack this all up. Alone.” He wiped away his tears and gave a sniffle, going back to his task.

Neither of them had heard the apartment door open, Reita was signaled of Kai’s arrival when he caught his voice from the hallway. “Babe, I’m home.” Uruha visibly paled and stopped what he was doing. Without thinking Reita called out to Kai. “In here.”

“Are you finally—“ Kai stopped when he walked inside the room and spotted Uruha. “Well, isn’t this nice? What the fuck is going on Reita?” Obviously he wasn’t pleased at how naked he was while in the same room as his ex-lover.

“Nothing is going on. I just came for my belongings.” 

“Reita, why are you naked?” Kai glared at Uruha then glanced at him.

“Why the fuck can’t I be naked in my own damn home?” He was so frustrated, with everything.

“When you are naked and in the same room with your ex, it doesn’t look good.” Stepping toward him, Kai threw his jacket at him, gesturing for him to cover up.

“Great. Can you two have your love quarrel somewhere else so I can pack?” Uruha stated in a sarcastic tone, pointing at the two of them. Holding the coat against his body, just to please Kai, Reita huffed and walked out of the room, his current lover following close behind him.

“Who does he think he is?” Kai muttered under his breath and Reita ignored it.

Slamming his bedroom door shut, Reita dropped the jacket and leaned against the wall looking at Kai. “Did you get any? Because I could sure as hell use some!” Digging into his jeans pocket, Kai brought out a small baggy.

“Are you going to tell me why you are sporting a half erection naked in the same room as him?” Kai clenched his fist over the bag and Reita groaned. Indeed his dick was still semi hard.

“You’re going to give me that,” Reita pointed to the drug, “And then you’re going to get on your knees and suck my dick.” He watched as Kai’s fist loosened up and gave a shudder at his command.

No more than five minutes later, he was high again and had Kai on his knees. Reita’s head hit against the door when Kai swallowed over his cock, and he gripped his lover’s hair making him take more of him. Briefly closing his eyes, he imagined Uruha here sucking him off; knowing that his ex-lover was only down the hall didn’t help his imagination any.

Reita let out a groan, twisting his fingers in his lover’s hair when Kai’s throat vibrated around him. Leaning against the door for support, Reita bucked his hips up going deeper into Kai’s throat. Only a few more fucking thrusts and he would be on cloud nine. Soon as he clenched up and felt his release coming, he withdrew out of Kai’s mouth, and shot his load all over his lover’s face. Kai obediently opened his mouth to catch some of his cum and let out a whimper.

“Reita?” Uruha’s voice called for him behind the door, he let out a moan as the last of his cum landed against Kai’s chin. Without a care in the world, Reita opened his door, giving his cock a few strokes, leaving Kai on his knees and clearly visible. Uruha glanced at Kai for a moment before blushing and looking away. “What?” Reita spat out, feeling tired.

Giving Reita a half glance, Uruha stumbled over his words. “I-I’m going to go now. Here.” Extending out his hand, trying his best to avoid eye contact, Uruha handed him his key to the apartment they once shared. Reita took it slowly, and then glanced at the boxes near the apartment door. “Hold up, I’ll help you with those.” Reita said and shut the door.

Finding a pair of jeans, Reita pulled them on over his bare ass while Kai cleaned off his face with tissues. Just as Reita was about to reopen the door and help Uruha, his current lover grabbed his arm. Kai brought their lips together; he sucked on Reita’s bottom lip, rubbing his erection over Reita’s leg. “Don’t worry Kai, I’ll be back to fuck you senseless.” The only reaction he got from Kai was a whine and then he was out the door.

Uruha stood around still avoiding his eyes, holding two boxes. Picking up the remaining three boxes, they headed downstairs and outside, trying his best to stay awake. He wondered where he was going because Uruha didn’t have a car, so he was a little bit stunned when his ex-lover stopped in front of a luxurious sedan. It began to become clear as fuck that he stood no chance now. “Nice ride.” He hadn’t meant to make it sound sarcastic but it did when it came out.

“Ruki let me borrow it.” Uruha said shyly as he sat down the boxes on the sidewalk, then opened up the trunk and back door. Making sure to be quick, Reita loaded up the car. Both of them stood near each other, Reita leaned on the expensive car, not giving a fuck if he scratched it. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“What does it matter Uruha? I’m not your fucking problem anymore.” He was fed up with this, he just wanted to fuck the shit out of Kai and pass out. The sooner Uruha was out of his life the better, even though he knew that wasn’t entirely true.

“You know I still care about you. I’ll always love you. You’re my best friend. My…” Uruha’s lip quivered slightly, he shook his head and gave a quiet laugh. “Goodbye Reita.”

His gut twisted, that sounded like a final goodbye and he didn’t know how to process it. He felt like they had done this before, a dramatic fucking exit on Uruha’s end but this was definitely more real. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he was ready for this, he just couldn’t fucking do it. Instead he stayed silent, the words of a final farewell nowhere near coming from his lips. 

Uruha gave him one more glance before getting inside the car and driving away, Reita couldn’t help but continue to stare until the road was empty, wishing that the sun could be felt on his skin but the sky was gloomy instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update ^^;
> 
> <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter for you all since I've been such a slacker lately.

The farther away he got from his old apartment, leaving Reita behind, the better he felt. When he arrived there a few hours ago, he had expected Reita to move on by now, happy with his new lover. Instead, Uruha had walked in on a broken man, high and still, oh still very angry. It was foolish of him to think otherwise; after all he was the one who broke Reita in the first place.

Throat becoming dry, Uruha tried his best not to cry over him, but he couldn’t help it. Reita needed help; he was a completely different person now. Never was he a romantic type per say, but the fact that he defiled and humiliated Kai in front of him was enough to make him cringe. Obviously the drugs had taken over his mind and he wasn’t thinking clearly. He hoped. 

He thought he would feel jealously at the scene but instead he felt an overbearing sorrow for Kai. Which he shouldn’t because that man had been nothing but cruel to him, proving that maybe Uruha had forgiven him for everything. 

Stopping in front of his new home, Ruki’s penthouse, he gripped the steering wheel tight and let out a sigh. Deep inside he had an overwhelming need to let this all out and talk to someone about it, which used to be Ruki. But would Ruki want to hear about it now? Or would he just turn him away? The last thing he needed was to make another lover of is become angry with him. Either way, he needed to tell Ruki about the kiss he shared with Reita. Or his guilty conscience would only end up eating him up and break him down all over again. And for once he was doing well.

Making his way into the penthouse, he knew Ruki wasn’t home. There was a note left for him on the counter, saying he would back around six at night. He didn’t mention where he went or why, but Uruha tried to not let it bother him. But it started to trouble him, letting his illogical mind win, he dialed Ruki’s number.

“Hello?”

Laughter filled his mobile; he could hear two women talking to each other. Uruha couldn’t help but feel his heart hammer in his chest. 

“Uruha? What is it? I’m busy.” Of course, Ruki was always busy. Feeling hurt at the annoyance in his lover’s voice he quickly spoke up.

“It’s nothing. Sorry for bothering you.”

“Uruha…”

He gave a quick goodbye and hung up. Thinking that maybe Ruki was already getting tired of his whining and insecurities, he couldn’t help but frown at the phone in his hand. After weeks together, Ruki was still romantic and tender. Grateful for the love he was being shown but Uruha needed the one thing that he was missing the most. Ruki still had a penis complex. Understanding that some relationships had their drawbacks, Uruha was unprepared for the fact that he would be the only one touching his dick. If a lover couldn’t love all of him, what was the point? Maybe he was just being silly, it was ungrateful of him to think of such matters.

Then this encounter with Reita had left him more than shaken. It took every bit of his willpower to stop his former lover’s actions earlier. Wanting nothing more than to give in to the not so subtle advances Retia had pushed on him. Now that left him feeling guiltier. For some reason he still couldn’t seem to make up its mind.

The ring on his finger was not a symbol of a marriage to come like Reita had thought. More of a claim of ownership was how he saw it. When Ruki had given it to him, he merely said it was to show everyone that he belonged to him. 

Slipping off his shoes, he fell against the couch. Suddenly not feeling up to unpacking Ruki’s car. He wanted to call Reita and tell him to stop using drugs and to get rid of Kai, as if it were that simple. But that would be ridiculous and also his mobile was disconnected. In the end, he just passed out on the sofa after exhausting his mind with all the lingering thoughts.

Awaking to a nudge to his shoulder then a gentle press of lips to his neck, Uruha groaned. For being woke up and how amazing those lips felt on his skin. Opening his eyes, he smiled seeing Ruki pull away from him to gaze into his eyes. “Still sleepy?”

“Mm.” Seemed all Uruha could come up with, but leaned forward to kiss Ruki, tasting beer on his lips. Ruki sat down next to him and grabbed his hand, leading it to a very obvious erection. As tempting as that was, he briefly wondered if he came home like this and why. Uruha couldn’t help but pull his hand out of Ruki’s grasp and pout. “We need to talk.”

Moving closer, Ruki half leaned his body over his, putting his face in the crook of his neck. “Now?”

“Yes.”

Ruki pulled back with a sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “What happened with Reita?”

Nothing could ever get passed Ruki, this he had realized a long time ago. It hurt that Ruki would rather use sex to cover it up than rather talking about it. Crossing his arms, Ruki waited for him to continue. Though the speech he had practiced in his head over and over again, suddenly escaped him.

“He’s in real bad shape.” That was the first thing that came to his mind. He wanted to help him. Was that so bad? Maybe he should leave out the part about the kiss for now.

“Uruha, you shouldn’t worry about him anymore. It’s not healthy.” Leaving the couch, Ruki walked over to the kitchen, making himself an alcoholic drink. 

“I can’t just stop—“

“I’m sick of hearing about him!” Ruki suddenly snapped. 

Eyes wide, Uruha didn’t know what to do; Ruki had never even raised his voice at him before. He knew that Ruki was becoming sick of him. When he had angered Aoi, he would be sure to punish him however he saw fit. He shrunk into the sofa more, afraid of what Ruki would do.

“You don’t even realize it half the time. But I assure you, there isn’t a day that goes by without you mentioning him one way or another.” He could feel himself relax slightly as Ruki’s tone had become softer.

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I’m just stressed out.” Downing his mix drink, Ruki walked back to Uruha, pulling him off the furniture and into his arms. Usually the scent of Ruki would calm his nerves but right now it was doing him no justice. “What’s wrong with Reita?”

Uruha bit his lip, deciding on what exactly to say, he didn’t want to anger Ruki again. “I think he’s on drugs and he has lost some weight.”

“And what do you want to do?” 

“I have to help him. It’s my fault he’s like this.” Now he had resulted on chewing his freshly manicured nails.

“Don’t go blaming yourself again for his idiotic decisions. You don’t have to help him. He’s a grown man.” Those weren’t exactly the words he wanted to hear. Did it really matter than Reita was in fact a grown man? Even adults need help sometimes and Reita clearly was one of them. The stupid actions that Reita had chosen were still because of him. Uruha had broken his heart, betrayed his trust and worst of all, left him. 

“I can’t help it.” 

“I know.” Ruki kissed the top of his head and still held him close. “You want to go for a drive with me?”

“To where?”

“Just a little somewhere to cheer you up.” Tugging him to the entryway, Ruki ushered him to put on his shoes.

“Shouldn’t I change?” He was wearing ragged jeans and a loose tank top, since he spent the day packing up his old belongings, he didn’t try really hard.

“No, you’re fine.”

If he didn’t need to change his outfit, Uruha hoped that meant they wouldn’t be around other people. Not knowing if he could handle another one of Ruki’s parties, he always felt out of place among the rich. Just the thought made him feel uncomfortable. Plus the fact that Ruki had been drinking didn’t make him feel any better. “Can’t we just stay in? I still need to unload the car.”

“All you do is stay closed in up here. You need to get out more, please.” Stroking his cheek for a moment, Ruki went towards the door. “I’ll unpack the car later.”

Feeling like he had no choice, Uruha nodded and followed Ruki out. The back of the car was still full from Uruha’s boxes, though Ruki didn’t seem to mind. As always it was a silent drive, usually a comfortable silence had now gone awkward. Uruha didn’t get to express how he was feeling completely, Ruki cut him off and it frustrated him.

What seemed like over an hour of unbearable silence, they were finally to wherever, as Ruki pulled the car to a halt. “Where are we exactly?” Taking a look around, through the darkness of the night, he could see the city’s reflection ripple, a lake. “You didn’t bring me out here to kill me, did you?”

“Really Uruha?” Ruki snorted then was at his side. Sitting on the hood of his car, Ruki brought him closer, resting his hands on Uruha’s shoulders.

“If you brought me out here to the middle of no where for sex then you are going to be disappointed.” No way was he in any mood to do anything remotely sexual, but Uruha accepted the small kiss Ruki gave him.

“Ouch and here I thought this was romantic.” 

It was quiet here, such a contrast from the city and now more then ever, Uruha could hear his thoughts clearly and what they were trying to tell him. How this was all wrong. Ruki’s smiling face, being here with him, and almost being happy. While on the other side of the lake, Reita was somewhere miserable and possible dying for all he knew. 

“Reita kissed me today.” He could feel Ruki’s arms around him loosen. Not meeting his lover’s eyes, he waited for him to speak.

“And what did you do?” 

“…I kissed him back.” And it felt amazing, even if Reita smelled like he hadn’t bathed for days and his breath not being much better. It seemed like a good idea to confess this a few moments ago, but now Uruha was starting to regret it by the look on Ruki’s face. He didn’t think it would hurt this much.

“Did you have sex with him?” Ruki’s voice was quiet and it only made Uruha feel worse.

“No.” He wanted to plead against his case, of course he wouldn’t have had sex with Reita but in a way, he couldn’t find it in him to fight for his fate.

Seeing the look on his face, Ruki sighed. “But you want to.” 

“Like I said, I can’t help it.” Uruha murmured, closing his eyes. 

“You can’t help that you worry about him or you can’t help but want his dick!” Now Ruki’s calm demeanor was gone again as he raised his voice for a second time. Expecting a slap or punch to the face that never came, Uruha opened his eyes to find Ruki crying silently.

“This is for the best.” Stepping away from Ruki, he didn’t know what else to say.

“No.” Closing the distance between them, Ruki held his face in his hands. “No, don’t do this.”

“You’re not happy with me anyway.” Not knowing how else to put it, Uruha decided to put it bluntly. “You’re straight.”

That made Ruki laugh. “Last time I checked that wasn’t the case.”

“Please, every time you go near my dick you freak out.” Backing away from Ruki, he glanced at the city, feeling the longing of going back, away from this situation. 

“You’re going to break up with me just because I—“ 

“No!” He didn’t know how to say anything of this; he had never broken up with anyone before. “I just think that you would be happier with, you know, a woman.”

“Don’t try to make this all about me. You just can’t seem to get over Retia and that’s what this is about!” Shouting again, Ruki moved away from the car and turned his back to Uruha.

“How do you expect me to? I’ve been with him my entire life!”

“That’s your problem. Always stuck in the past! He’s not here, I am!” Patting his chest, Ruki emphasized the fact that he was indeed here. But he wasn’t completely.

“I need a man that loves all of me, dick and all.” He snapped, maybe all of this was part sexual. 

“Uruha, I do love you. Why are you doing this? I’ve given you everything you deserve that Reita would never give you.” Partially true, Reita never did accept him when he would dress up, but today, he wore makeup and Reita had still wanted him. Where Ruki on the other hand accepted it openly for obvious reasons. 

And now of all times to confess his love, how perfect. It was nothing more than a false pretense. Ruki loved nothing but the image of Uruha. He knew he was submissive, compliant and well, very good at sex. “You don’t mean that.”

“How can you say that?”

“You’re still marrying Hina and what? Am I supposed to just hide behind you, a secret?” That was the last thing he wanted, never again would he hide who he was and it didn’t matter if he had to sacrifice a relationship for it.

“I never said it would be easy. And you sure as hell never make it so.”

“Wow, you are really coming clean aren’t you?” Uruha had enough of this, he wanted out. “Take me…” Where? Surely Ruki wouldn’t want anything to do with him now. “Just take me back to the city.”

“That’s it? You just want me to drop you off somewhere and forget about everything we had?” Again Ruki made an attempt to hold him close, but Uruha felt too guilt-ridden to be in such a position, so he pulled away from the embrace.

“I’m sorry. I love what we had but it won’t become anything more. I—“ 

“You don’t need to finish, I already know.” 

That he was still madly in love with Reita and nothing would ever change that. 

“Fine. Let’s go.” Ruki finally said after a short silence. Uruha felt like a fool for rejecting Ruki but he couldn’t help but think it was the right thing to do.

After another long silent drive, Ruki pulled over somewhere in the middle of the city. Removing the band on his ring finger, Uruha twirled it around his fingers before holding it out for Ruki. “Here.”

Reluctantly Ruki grabbed the ring and held it. “Where are you going?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“Fuck, Uruha. Just come back with me so I don’t have to worry about you all night.” Resulting to pleading with him, Ruki put a hand on his thigh. A tempting offer but he knew he had to refuse, or else he would want to stay with Ruki and he couldn’t let that happen.

“I’ll be fine.” About to open the car door, Uruha stopped, looking behind him, the backseat was still full of his belongings. “Shit, can I come get my things when I find a place?”

“Of course.” Ruki was quiet and then looked over at him, digging in his pocket; he pulled out his wallet, yanking out some cash. “Here, at least stay at a hotel tonight.”

Uruha grabbed the money, counting over fifty thousand yen. “This is too much.”

“Uruha, please.” 

He nodded and pocketed the notes. Before leaving the car, he leaned over the center console and for the last time their lips met. Tasting Ruki’s salty leftover tears was what made him pull back. Again he broke a man’s heart; he didn’t deserve anyone’s love.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, and wiped away a tear of his own before he left the car, a smudge of eyeliner left on his finger. Ruki’s car sped away and he tried to not let the tormented feeling in his chest get to him.

Walking down the busy streets, he felt his bag flap against him, forgetting that he had it at all. Rummaging through the contents, Uruha found a mirror and a stick of eyeliner. Good thing he checked because he looked horrible, he must of cried more than he thought, judging by the black streaks down his cheeks. 

Makeup fixed, he felt a little bit better. At least he was presentable now. Since he couldn’t just walk up to Reita’s apartment so late at night, he decided to pay a visit to an old friend. And after a short walk he was in front of a familiar house. Knocking on the door, he tried to remain calm, not sure what to expect. 

In the doorway, chest bare with a smirk on his face stood his weakness. “Uruha. You have some nerve coming here.”

“I didn’t know that was going to happen to you, Aoi.” He was happy to see that his face was completely healed and had left no permanent damage. “I’m sorry.”

“What now? You here to make it up to me?” A finger curled underneath his chin, forcing him to make eye contact with Aoi. All he could do was give a measly nod. The hand grabbing his chin moved down to his shoulder, shoving him inside and closer against Aoi’s body. “I just need to finish up a business transaction and then we get spend some time together.”

“Okay.” The strong and confident Uruha that had been around the past few months was gone and replaced, as he obediently walked into the living room and waited to be punished. 

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” At hearing the voice, Uruha tilted his head up and saw Kai standing not to far away with a look of disgust on his face.

Seeing him here heightened the beating of his heart. “What are you doing here?”

“Whoring yourself for drugs are you?” Kai laughed, ignoring his question and leaving Uruha even more confused.

Aoi came back into the room, concealing something in his hand and moved over to Kai with a raised brow. “You two know each other?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides*


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Either going to shock you and/or make you hate me lol. Either way, another extra long chapter to make up for my stupid brain! ^^

Reita was going out of his fucking mind. He was more worried about where the hell his next fix was instead of Kai. Making him feel like the asshole of the year. But he couldn’t help it. The sound of the front door opening had him up fast but he stilled his haste when he heard two voices.

Curious, he slowly made his way into the living room; he saw Kai and Uruha talking with each other. Maybe he was hallucinating because they seemed to be acting civil, which would just be fucking crazy.

“You need to tell him.” Uruha said to Kai in a quiet voice. The look on Kai’s face made him out to be guilty about something, Reita was still trying to get over the fact they were in the same room and no blood had been shed. Yet.

“What’s going on here?” Finally making his presence known, he stepped out from behind the wall.

“Reita, I mean really.” Looking away, Uruha’s face turned bright red. Leaving Reita confused.

“What?” He held out his hands, waiting for an explanation. 

“You’re naked.” Kai said flatly, his expression unreadable. “Again.”

“And this is a problem because…” After seeing the death glare from Kai, he used his hands to cover himself up the best he could. “What’s going on?” Or more importantly, where were his fucking drugs?

“Well…”

Uruha interrupted Kai who seemed like he wasn’t going to say more anyways. “Did you know your drugs have been coming from Aoi?”

Of course he didn’t, all he cared about was having them. Reita could give a fuck where they came from. Then something in his mind clicked and he looked at Kai trying to go over the new information. Knowing that Aoi was never up to any good, judging from his past with Uruha. “Are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah.” The usual bossy and confident Kai had disappeared, now he looked pale and was literally shaking.

“Can someone tell me what hell is going on?” The three of them stood still, Reita waited for either one of them to answer his question. 

“First thing, you two both have a serious problem.” 

“Wow, thank you Uruha. That is very insightful of you.” Reita snapped.

“I’m just going to disregard that because you aren’t yourself. Kai has already agreed to let me help you both.” Despite how Reita felt at the moment, he couldn’t help but smile a little at Uruha. Wait. “What?”

“What he really means is that he’s homeless and wants to move back in.” Kai moved towards Reita, leaning against him.

“Thanks Kai.” Sitting on the couch, Uruha blew a piece of hair out of his face. “That is true. But I really do want to help you two. Because I care about you Reita and you’re better than this.”

“We’ll be back in a minute.” Dragging Kai into the bedroom, he left Uruha shrugging on the couch, making himself comfortable.

“Did you get it or what?” He asked while putting on a pair of pants since everyone made such a big deal out of him being naked.

“Reita. Uruha is serious. I think we should take him up on his offer.” Today was just full of surprises; he tried not to get angry because Kai looked so broken. 

“This is great. You make me like this and now you are trying to help me?” Sitting down on the bed, he put his face in his hands. It would be only an hour or so before he would start to shake and then vomit. 

Kai sat down next to him, hugging his side awkwardly; Reita could feel the skin on his shoulder become moist. “I love you Reita and I’m scared. I lost my job too…”

“What? When?” Lying back on the bed, he pulled Kai with him so that he could rest on his chest more comfortably. 

“Two weeks ago.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me? Then how…” At that moment everything came into place; the kind of man Aoi was, Kai getting the drugs from him, the fact that they were broke and the reason why Kai looked so shattered. Without even thinking he pushed Kai off of him with a rough shove. “You fucking—“ He decided not to finish that sentence because Kai was already crying. Reita felt like an asshole but he couldn’t help how fucking furious he was.

“Is that how you and Uruha met up? Both of you at Aoi’s house sucking his fucking dick!” That fucking piece of shit, he wished Aoi had never left the hospital. 

“Reita—“

“On second thought, don’t fucking answer that.” Now needing it more than ever, he decided to take it upon himself. Reita held Kai down and started to dig through the pockets of his jeans, despite Kai’s protests. His fingers brushed against something and he tugged it out of Kai’s pocket. Removing himself from Kai’s body, he quickly began to prepare the drug for intake. Ignoring Kai, who ran out of the room, Reita inhaled the heroin. The unsettling in his stomach going away almost in an instant, his hands steadying, and his eyes closing shut.

“Reita.”

Responding to his name, he struggled to open his eyes. An upsetting shift in his stomach, made what little he had in there rise up his throat. He moved past whoever was in his way and made it just in time to the bathroom to empty his stomach. What a fucking mess.

When he felt a hand rub his naked back, he thought it would be Kai but instead it was his ex-lover. He shoved the gentle hand away and rinsed his mouth. “What do you want Uruha?”

“I already told you. I want to help you. Both of you.” 

“And your librarian is fine with that?” He decided he might as well brush his teeth too.

“Ruki and I are done.” He could tell that Uruha was trying to remain calm.

“Maybe you should stop cheating on your boyfriends with that asshole.” Reita said with his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth.

“I didn’t cheat on him. I left him.” Resting his head on the wall, Uruha looked at him in the mirror with a tired expression. “Whether you like it or not I’m staying here. I will clean up, and stay out of both of your ways except for when you need my help. I’m not here to ruin your relationship.”

“Uruha, I don’t really want to—“

“No, I don’t give a fuck about what you want. You’re going to listen to me. Kai is in the other room crying because you have become such a fucking asshole! I get you treating me with hostility but what the hell did he do to you to receive the treatment you are giving him? Like the time you thought you would just release your load on his face for me to see. Do you like degrading him like that? Get off on that now do you?” After his little speech, Uruha stood tall. 

Not for a long time had he seen Uruha full of such anger, still, Uruha was right. Out of all the fucked up moments, he wanted to kiss Uruha. But he had to see Kai. He really was an asshole. 

“Okay.” Reita faced Uruha, who just looked at him, the self-confidence he showed a moment ago absent.

“Okay?”

“You’re right. I am an asshole. The luckiest asshole, because I have you. Thanks Uruha.” Needing to get out of the small confined space before he just took Uruha right there against the wall, he awkwardly patted his ex-lover’s shoulder and walked out.

Finding Kai settled on the couch covering most of his tear-streaked face had Reita feeling more like shit. Kai looked exactly how Reita felt, well hell, he probably looked just as bad. This whole thing had been a stupid idea. “Uruha?” He called out, his ex-lover showing himself, just waiting for him to go on. “The heroin is in my nightstand. Can you get rid of it?”

Nodding his head, Uruha gave a slight smile then went off into the bedroom. Reita sat down beside Kai, pulling him close. Instantly, Kai snuggled him, burying his face into his neck. “I’m sorry Kai.” His lover just mumbled into his skin and practically climbed on to his lap. Not knowing what else to do, he just rubbed Kai’s back. This whole comforting thing was not his strongest ability. 

Reita cupped Kai’s face, bringing him away from his neck so that their lips could meet. Feeling guilty that his thoughts about Uruha a few minutes ago, he let himself sink into Kai’s taste. This man was apart of his life now, Kai needed him and Reita was determined to be there.

Fingers stroked his hair and he heard Kai whisper against the side of his cheek. “What?” Even though Kai was so close, he couldn’t make out the words.

“I’m so scared.” The words were muffled as Kai pushed his mouth against Reita’s bare shoulder.

“Scared of what?” Still rubbing Kai’s back, his eyes shifted to see Uruha walk in the room and lean against the wall.

“I’m scared that you will leave me when you are sober.” The hand on Kai stopped moving, Reita had never thought of anything like that. Reita wouldn’t do that, he brought Kai into his twisted world, if Kai thought he was going to leave him for Uruha, then he had to reassure Kai.

Though glancing at Uruha, he didn’t know if that was true. Uruha seemed to be fine for now; it was Kai that needed him now. “I wouldn’t leave you.” He whispered, even still, Uruha had heard him. Reluctantly he looked at Uruha in the eyes, a sad smile on his lips. Grateful that Uruha didn’t say anything, he just held Kai close, suddenly feeling more ill than before.

“Do you guys want me to put on some tea and then maybe watch a movie?” Stepping away from the wall, Uruha asked, back to normal, he had to admire him for that.

“That sounds good.” Reita replied. When Uruha was in the kitchen, he whispered to Kai. “So, you didn’t tell me how you and Uruha became best friends?”

Hearing Kai chuckle against his flesh had him smiling, despite everything. “Hardly.”

Leaning forward a bit, Reita removed the blanket draped over the back of the couch, placing it over Kai and him. Kai snuggled back, looking up at him. Still wanting to talk about that asshole and what he might have possibly done to Kai, Reita bit his lip, maybe now wasn’t the best of times to talk about it. Staring at Kai’s pale face, he realized how fragile he was right now.

Just then Uruha walked into the room holding two steaming coffee mugs. Smelling the ginger tea was enough to make him feel more relaxed. “What do you guys want to watch?” Setting down the mugs on the table in front of the couch, Uruha sat next to Reita. The three of them on the slightly small couch a snug fit. Warmth coming from Uruha had Reita feeling a bit to heated. 

“I don’t care.” Ignoring the flutters in his stomach, Reita just shrugged. 

Kai lifted his head off Reita’s shoulder to look at Uruha. “Anything happy.”

“Alright!” Uruha turned on the television then moved to where Reita and him stored their collection of DVDs. Once he was done setting it all up, he sat back down next to Reita. “Can I have some blanket? It’s freezing in here!”

“That’s because Reita didn’t pay the heating bill.” Kai grumbled, while Reita filled the request of sparing some of his blanket for Uruha.

“Are we watching a movie or what?” With a playful tone, he imitated being angry, getting a laugh out of both Kai and Uruha. This was going to be a weird night for sure, yet oddly comforting. “I knew you would pick this one.”

“Well yeah, I always watch this.” Giggling Uruha moved to get more comfortable, tucking his feet underneath him, his knee brushing against Reita’s arm.

The brush of lips against his naked chest made him look down at Kai, he kissed the top of his head. After that they all became silent, Reita wondered if Kai and Uruha were actually watching the movie. Because he sure as hell wasn’t. Now that the tea had cooled down, Kai sat up reaching for the two mugs for them to drink. That kept his mind preoccupied for a while. Then when all of the tea was gone, Kai snuggled back into his side while on his other side Uruha was still touching him.

With a settled stomach, Reita couldn’t help but become aroused. The thought of having both Uruha and Kai at the same time kept crossing through his mind. And he couldn’t fucking help it.

Being thankful to the blanket thrown across them, Reita tried to adjust the growing erection in his pants. For fucks sake he was acting like a teenager all over again. After his minor adjustment, he let his hand sneak over to Uruha’s side, placing it on his ex-lover’s thigh. 

Uruha didn’t even flinch, eyes still trained on the television, he felt Uruha’s hand close over his and it had his heart beating faster. Still having his other hand draped over Kai, he felt comfortable. 

Shifting beside him, Uruha moved closer so that his whole side was pressed against Reita’s body. Nervous as hell, Reita avoided looking at him and instead glanced at Kai, who was almost drifting off to sleep with heavy eyes. Despite the ache in his head, his cock was now fully awake and ready for action. Not that it would be getting any.

Unconsciously, he stroked Uruha’s inner thigh, Reita heard him gasp. “Reita.”

Hearing a soft snore, he knew that Kai was asleep. “What?”

“Exactly, what are you doing?” Uruha gasped out, stifling a moan when Reita’s hand moved over his crotch. He removed his hand from Uruha’s semi-erection to his hair, bringing his face closer so their lips could touch. A light hesitant brush at first, but Reita couldn’t help but suck in Uruha’s bottom lip. Releasing Uruha from his mouth, he rested his head against his forehead. The arm he had around Kai tightening on reflex, as he thought about how much he fucking wanted, needed, Uruha. “I don’t know.”

Kai sat up, holding a hand over his mouth as he yawned. Withdrawing himself from Uruha, he tried to not look so guilty. “You want to go to bed babe?”

“Are you coming?” He asked Reita, and then looked at Uruha without a glare. So maybe Kai didn’t notice their little heated exchange.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a second.” Reassuring Kai, he gave him a kiss on the lips that was meant to be quick but Kai held him in place, basically starting a full on make out session. He could feel Uruha shift beside him and finally Kai let him go but not before grabbing his now very obvious erection. “Don’t take to long.”

Kai left the room, Reita felt extremely awkward; he was just kissing Uruha and now he wanted nothing more than to get away from him and fuck Kai into the mattress. “Um.”

“Goodnight Reita.” Receiving a chaste kiss on the cheek, Reita stood up and said goodnight back to Uruha, then went to join Kai.

Who was already naked with his legs spread on the bed, waiting for Reita to claim him. And Reita didn’t need a better invitation as he quickly removed his pants and joined Kai on the bed, slipping into him with ease.

Wrapping his legs around Reita, Kai also hugged him tight, huffing out heavy breaths with each thrust into his body. “Do you like this Reita?”

Of course he fucking liked it, what kind of question is that? “Yes.” He groaned, moving his hips in a circular motion to stop from cumming to early. 

Nails dug into his ass, making him go deeper into Kai. “Or do you want Uruha to come in here? Watch me fuck him?” At that, Reita had to stop and open his blissfully shut eyes, looking at Kai, he looked dead serious. Was this a trap or did he really want Uruha to come in here?

“What?” Just the mental picture that question had given him, had him reflexively moving in and out of Kai.

Kai clenched around his cock, making him halt with a whimper. Then he felt Kai’s lips on his, ravishing and dominating him only to be gone in a second. “I know everything about you Reita. I know what you want.” Pulling back, Reita tried to process what was being said to him, Kai followed, sitting on his lap with Reita’s cock still buried deep inside of him. “I love you Reita, I’ll do anything for you.”

“I love you too.” He really did, even more so now, if what he really meant what he was saying.

Moving off his cock just enough to slam back down, Kai moaned, running his hands down Reita’s chest. “And you’ll always love Uruha.”

Pushing Reita down on the mattress, Kai lifted his hips and rode him with no intention of going very fast. “Yes.” No point in lying when Kai already knew.

“Uruha!” Kai yelled so suddenly that Reita actually jumped.

As if they were in trouble, Uruha ran into the room, looking ready for the worst. “Are you guys—Oh wow, you guys are more than okay.” He turned around about to leave, thinking it was some kind of mistake he was there.

“Wait, Uruha.” It was Kai that stopped him; he faced the two who were still quite intimately interlocked. “Would you like to join us?”

Eyes wider than Reita had ever seen them, Uruha stammered over words that made no sense, until he cleared his throat and tried again. “I-I’m sorry, join,” He took a breath. “Join you?”

Uruha’s mouth slacked open, as Kai started to ride Reita again, who was still stunned to even talk or move. “Come on Uruha, I know you miss this.” This time Kai slid off Reita’s erection, letting it stand tall for Uruha to see. That seemed to do the trick as Uruha moved closer into the room he once shared with Reita. 

Reita sat up, stroking himself; this was becoming a fantasy he didn’t even know he had. The bed dipped when Uruha sat on it, looking extremely uncomfortable. He had to admit, Reita was feeling the same, not because of the situation but more of how he hadn’t been with Uruha like this since forever it seemed. With Kai it came natural, something that scared him, but enough of that, he had both Kai and Uruha in his bed, willing, and ready to please him. What was a man to do?

Taking a fistful of Uruha’s hair, Kai pulled him into a kiss, which Uruha moaned into, opening his mouth for more. Holy fucking shit was the only thought going through Reita’s mind. Both of them broke apart, giving each other a glance before bringing their attention to Reita, who was sure he was still high, left in an alterative reality. 

“How do you want us baby?” Kai spread his legs, rubbing his thighs, while Uruha just gazed at him with a deep longing. 

“Fuck.” Holy fucking shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so... I just had to do it. Did anyone see this coming? XD I am curious as to what all of you think will happen or what you want to happen..so go ahead and tell me if you want. I'm sorry for such a long delay, I just have been having a lot of issues. Hope you all are still liking it... >.> I was about to end this, in about 2 chapters, but now I don't want to, I love it too much. If I drag this on too much, let me know! ^^;
> 
> Comments are VERY MUCH love <3


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> M/M/M = mmm ;D

There are certain things that Uruha had always expected from his life. But sitting on his old bed feeling Kai, a man who hated him for most of the time he had know him, whom was currently with his best friend and ex-lover, having his tongue in his mouth was one thing he certainly did not ever think to expect in his lifetime. (Except for the fact that this wasn’t the first time.) Though he didn’t mind it at all. Making it all the more surreal with Reita sporting an erection just watching them.

To possibly understand how this could have happened, he ran through the memories of what had transpired back at Aoi’s place only a few hours ago.

 

“You two know each other?”

Not giving Aoi an answer, he looked at Kai. “It seems that you are the one whoring yourself for drugs.”

Kai opened his mouth but stopped because it was obvious that Uruha was right, his smartass remark coming to bite him back in the ass.

“Uruha whores himself pretty much for free. Isn’t that right baby?” Stepping behind him, Aoi slapped him on the ass.

While Kai raised a brow, Uruha smacked Aoi’s hand away. “Now back to business. Come on.” He gestured Kai towards his bedroom, who looked very reluctant to go any further or it could just be that he was feeling sick from the lack of drugs. 

“Wait.” Placing a gentle hand on Aoi’s forearm, he put on his best seductive charm. “If you add me into the mix, can you lessen the price?” He had no idea why he had offered. Kai had never done a single thing nice to him but the fact that Reita loved this man had made him feel for Kai. Letting Aoi take Kai the way he liked to have him was not an option, even though the two probably have already done so. But right now, Kai looked so fragile and weak, and Uruha knew that Aoi wanted nothing more than to make Kai break and bleed.

“What do you have in mind?” Looking pleased, Aoi waited for a response.

That was how both Kai and Uruha ended up on their knees with Aoi’s limp cock staring back at them. “Don’t just look, start sucking.”

Sharing a cock with another mouth was something he had never done before. The closest he had every come to this situation had been back in high school, when a few teammates from football had shoved him and another student on the floor of the showers, mocking them, shoving cocks in their faces. Uruha blinked the memory away as he watched Kai hesitantly grab a hold of Aoi’s flesh, kissing the side.

Moving his hips closer, Aoi indicated that Uruha better start using his mouth. Not really feeling up to the consequences if he didn’t do it. Darting out his tongue, he traced the vein from the base to the tip. Gently, he sucked on the tip while Kai still kissed and licked the side. Aoi groaned, falling back against the wall, then put his hands in Uruha’s hair, pushing him down more on his cock. Resisting the urge to gag, Uruha took it in to the back of his throat. 

Moving down, Kai went to take one of Aoi’s balls into his mouth while Uruha continued to deep throat. “This is fucking great.” Aoi moaned. “But it could be better.”

Uruha was yanked away roughly, Kai still in place. “You know what I want?” He had an idea, it was never hard to guess with Aoi, and now he regretted ever interfering with Kai’s payment plan.

The hold on his hair lessened, he watched as the same happened to Kai. Both of them kneeling, waiting for instructions like the good bitches they were. Uruha tried to swallow the bile coming up his throat as Aoi nodded towards the bed. “Both of you face down and ass up.”

As if it was programed into his brain to obey, Uruha did just that without a second thought. Kai looked at him, sickly, taking a moment to shake than preceded to do as he was told also. Being in such a submissive position with Kai had him feeling unbearably vulnerable. Now the man that hated him would have more ammo to shoot at Reita with. 

“Tonight is my lucky night.” Aoi exhaled against his ear, not even noticing him coming so close. Kai kept his eyes locked with his and Uruha didn’t know if it was comforting or unnerving. A slap to his ass made him break eye contact, he shuddered, hating himself for enjoying the humiliation he was about to endure. 

When he felt lubed fingers slide into him, Uruha rubbed his face on the sheets as he pushed back for more, letting himself moan at the feeling. Hearing soft groans come from the side; he lifted his face to see Kai withering against the bed as well, Aoi’s slick digits buried inside him too.

“Hm, it would be nice to finally have your ass Kai.” Aoi practically purred out. Pulling out his fingers out of Uruha, Aoi slid his erection between Uruha’s ass cheeks. “I’m used to this one.” With his free hand, Aoi slapped Uruha hard again, making him groan, leaving his ass tingling for more.

“Please.” Eagerly rocking his hips to meet Aoi’s fingers, Kai begged, his eyes glossed over, bangs sticking to his forehead.

Aoi didn’t need to be told twice, he withdrew his fingers, and removed himself completely from Uruha. “On your back.” He directed towards Uruha. Next thing he knew, Kai was over him, resting his head against his collarbone.

“Ah!” A huff of air from Kai grazed his skin when Aoi pushed into him. While Uruha just lied there having Kai’s erection rub against his own. Unable to fight the feeling, Uruha moved his arms to hold Kai, lifting his hips off the bed so that their cocks connected with each thrust Aoi gave.

“Do you like it rough too, Kai?” A whimper left Kai as Aoi shoved in harder. The friction against his cock an excruciating tease.

“Y-Yes!” A quick snap of hips gaining a rhythm, Aoi kept it up making Kai scream. It startled Uruha; not thinking Kai would be so vocal in the bedroom.

“Pleasure Uruha.” He let out an audible gasp, arching his back off the bed when Kai wrapped his hand around both their cocks. Steady strokes, just enough pleasure to leave him on the edge. “Now kiss him.” Kai lifted his head off Uruha’s chest, and then gave a light peck to his lips.

A loud smack of flesh resounded through out the room and Aoi growled. “Kiss him like you mean it.”

Just like that Kai was all over him in an instant, moving so fast that they clanked teeth together as frantic lips met his own, but it didn’t stop Kai from sticking his tongue down his throat. Uruha brought his hands into Kai’s hair, moaning into his mouth, the strokes on his cock becoming faster. 

This was the most attention his cock had received in months, his face felt heated, and not even a moment later he was spilling out over his stomach and Kai’s hand. Soft moans came from him as he overcame his orgasm, it must have tuned Aoi on even more because now he was showing Kai’s ass no mercy.

Kai fell completely on top of him; his rough pants hot against his ear, Uruha couldn’t think of anything else to do, so he just circled his arms around Kai. The semen caught between them, sticking to their skin. Adding his own, Kai came with violent shudders; Uruha instinctively tightened his grip on him. Hands held his face, Kai rubbed his cheek affectionately, and Uruha still tried to process what just happened.

What he didn’t expect to see was Aoi’s cock covered in blood spraying cum on to his and Kai’s face. Closing his eyes, he let the hot streaks coat his cheek, a little on his lip. Fingers swooped up the semen off his cheekbone; he opened his eyes to see Kai licking his fingers clean, a smear of cum on his own face.

“That was fucking amazing.” Aoi breathed out and fell next to them on his back, Kai still lying on top of Uruha. “Didn’t know you would be such a cum slut, Kai.”

“Kai, are you okay?” Uruha whispered, not failing to notice the amount of blood on Aoi’s dick.

Humming, Kai nodded his head against Uruha’s shoulder, the left side of his mouth turning up, revealing one dimple. “Never better.”

That made Aoi laugh, a hand tugged on his hair, making Uruha turn towards the other man. “Baby, you staying this time? I miss you. He can stay too.”

Gently pushing Kai off, he untangled their limbs and removed himself from the bed, shivering slightly, maybe from the adrenaline in his veins. “Just give him the damn drugs. We are leaving.” Wiping off the rest of cum off his face, Uruha found his clothes.

“I don’t think he can walk just yet.” Rubbing Kai’s ass cheek, Aoi gave it a not so playful slap, making Kai groan.

“Too bad. Kai get dressed.” Already putting his legs into his pants, Uruha tugged them up, buttoning them quickly. He needed to get out of here as fast as possible. What a disgrace, left Ruki not even half a day and already back into his old ways. Putting his shirt over his head, he just rubbed the left over semen into his skin, and then let the fabric fall down.

Happy that Kai had actually listened to him, Uruha stood by the bedroom door waiting for him to finish putting his clothes on. Still lounging on the bed naked, Aoi lazily wiped off his dick. “Sure. Tell that asshole if he shows his face here again it will be him going to the hospital not me.”

At that Kai looked up at him, eyes wide with horror as if he just realized who Aoi really was all the sudden.

Before they could walk out, Aoi grabbed Uruha by the arm then gripped his chin tight and slipped a bag into his hand. “I like this look on you baby.” Uruha had almost forgotten about the make up he was wearing. 

Getting out of the hold, Uruha glared. “Goodbye Aoi.”

The fresh air felt good, it also lightened his mood that Kai had a car, he was tired of walking and didn’t really feel like carrying the other all the way to Reita. Still he was mildly surprised that Kai didn’t have a limp. 

Inside the car, they both just sat there, Kai not even putting the key into the ignition. Honestly, he was getting tired of these awkward confrontations inside of a car, such small confining areas.

“Fuck.” Kai croaked out, a tearless sob. “I’m just like you.”

That made Uruha give out a dry laugh, what a crazy night. Now here he was, alone with Kai, and had to somehow comfort him as Kai currently lost his grip on reality, crying next to him.

“No you’re not.” Trying to reason with a drug addict was probably pointless but he had to try. “I’m by far way worse.”

“He’s going to leave me.” And then the tears started flowing. Uruha palmed his knees, this wasn’t the most awkward situation in his life but it was getting pretty close.

“Reita doesn’t need to know about what just happened. You’re not in your right mind.” It could be a legitimate excuse, maybe. After all Reita did demand drugs and Kai probably didn’t know any other way about getting them.

“So what? I just keep it from him like you did? That worked well.” Kai wiped away his tears, now becoming angry.

Disregarding the new emotion Kai held in his voice, Uruha continued. “I think you should just wait until you are clean. Both of you. I can help.”

“It doesn’t matter! I still liked it. I betrayed him.” Unsure himself, Uruha put his hand over Kai’s, intertwining their fingers. This felt beyond weird.

“I’m convinced that Aoi is a witch and that you just got trapped under his spell.” Seriously, he couldn’t explain what drew him to the bastard.

Kai looked at him for one short serious moment before busting out laughing. “You are ridiculous and you suck at this.”

“Really? I got you to laugh though.” They lapsed into a comfortable silence; Kai still not making any move to start the car and Uruha was fine with that. Still holding hands.

“Okay. We should go before Reita freaks out, he’s probably already freaking out.” Removing his hand from Uruha’s, Kai started the car and was about to take off but Uruha held his arm. He knew that Kai wanted help, wanted Reita better and had felt guilty for what he started.

“You need to tell Reita about where you’ve been getting drugs. It will be a great motivator for not taking them anymore.” It felt nice to know that Kai was being so cooperative and he finally felt like that Reita would get his life back on track if Kai did as well.

“Yeah. Okay. Thanks Uruha.” And Kai actually smiled at him and the world didn’t end.

 

Now staring at Reita with his erection, Kai stroking his inner thighs, all Uruha could think was how much this seemed eerily perfect. He was beyond ready to bounce on that cock and let Kai do whatever he wanted.

Until his cell phone had to ruin the erotic moment completely. 

“Uruha.” Reita grabbed his hand. “Don’t you dare answer that.”

He did.

“Hello?” Uruha said, moving himself away from the two naked men.

“Uruha are you okay? You made it to a hotel, right? I’ve just—“ Ruki.

“Yeah, I’m fine! Don’t worry okay?” Reita and Kai eyed him; he could feel his face heating up. “I have to go.”

“Wait! Uruha…” Ruki sighed. “Please don’t avoid me. I…”

“Okay, I won’t.” He didn’t want to hear him say it, especially not now. If only Ruki knew, he would probably never want to speak with him again. “I’ll talk to you later, alright?”

“Good. Be safe. And goodnight.” Before Ruki could get another chance to try and talk, Uruha hung up.

“Sorry.” He muttered, uneasily staring at Kai and Reita. Here he was about to partake in his second three some for the night and Ruki was home alone and heartbroken. What a royal fuck up he was.

“Now if you don’t mind. Get your fucking ass back here.” Patting the bed, Reita hinted at being angry but it was obvious that he was just nervous and extremely excited. It made Uruha smile, he glanced at Kai who held out his hand for him and he gladly took it, letting his slight heartache about Ruki disappear. Again Kai’s mouth met his lips, the sensation becoming strangely familiar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And not the threesome you were expecting... xD Next chapter another one. Damn, so much smut. Sorry for the shorter chapter, just happened, but hey it was less than 30 days since I wrote the last :P
> 
> Also I am working on a side story thing for this with Ruki...and maybe Aoi's POV. Anyone interested? I have a pairing with Ruki in mind, but it's a secret, but I promise it is a beyond gorgeous man ;D All the hard core GazettE fans will probably be mad or not care, I dunno. Couldn't help myself and I couldn't leave him all lonely and heartbroken.


	17. Chapter 17

Here it fucking was, the moment he hadn’t even known he was waiting for. Uruha moved away from Kai, towards him, letting their lips meet. It was odd to taste Kai on Uruha, but he certainly didn’t mind it. Not at all.

While they continued a relaxed sensual kiss, Reita could feel Kai licking up his cock, not it the slightest phased that it was up his ass a few moments ago. Reita didn’t mind either as he let out groan into Uruha’s mouth. Somehow he ended up on his back with Kai still sucking on him slowly and Uruha lying half on top of him, still claiming his lips.

He didn’t know what he did to deserve all this treatment but he wasn’t complaining. Letting his hands get lost in Uruha’s hair, pulling him as close as possible. It all felt unbelievably right. But he had to pull back for air, as his breathing became shaky. Fuck Kai was good at blowjobs.

Smiling down at him, Uruha almost giggled. “Kai.”

Just like that, Kai was off his cock crawling up and resting on Reita’s other side. “Yes?”

Turning to him, Uruha ran a finger down Reita’s naked chest. “Well, how do you want us?”

“I’ll watch you two.” He couldn’t pass up this opportunity. Both of them sat up, but Kai moved over Reita to lie on top of Uruha before kissing him and settling between his legs. 

Moving his hand down to his still slick cock, he gave it a few lazy tugs, just to keep it going, he wanted to last. 

Brining his hips off the bed, Uruha whined into Kai’s mouth, who pulled away. “Such a slut.” Kai cooed making Uruha blush. Leaning against the headboard, Reita just watched them interact. Sill his mind was boggled by how friendly they were. 

Knowing exactly what he wanted, Reita threw the bottle of lube towards Kai. “Fuck him.” Smiling, Kai took the tube and prepared Uruha, who was already lost in the cloud of lust. So fucking vulnerable, he couldn’t wait for his turn. But for now, he would just watch the show.

When Kai slid into Uruha, he decided to give his cock a little bit more attention, rubbing his thumb over the head, smearing the bubble of pre-cum that gathered there. Kai held Uruha’s ass while he thrust in and out slowly. Whimpers leaving Uruha, it was all so odd to see. The both of them in this position, _fuuuuuck_.

Time passed, Reita had to let up on his dick, fearing that he would cum to soon. Without a word, Kai pulled out of Uruha and gestured for him to get on his hands and knees. That’s how Uruha moved, right over Reita.

They kissed while Kai slipped back into Uruha. The kiss was sloppy at first, but then Reita used his hands to steady Uruha, kind of, making it all the more better. He had missed these kind of kisses, slow and delicate. But he was snapped out of the moment when he heard Kai’s voice.

“I have an idea.” Stopping his thrusts, he leaned over Uruha’s body to look at Reita. “You should fuck him too.”

Eyes widening, sweat sticking to his face, Uruha gasped. “W-What?”

“That sounds like a fucking great idea.” Eyes locked with Kai, but stroking Uruha’s hair, he said. 

“Um, w-wait a minute.” Uruha was flustered, looking back and forth between Kai and Reita.

“Hand me the lube.” Reita requested and received, coating his cock with more than enough of it.

Moving back into Uruha, Kai grinned. “Go for it.”

Whimpering again, Uruha looked at him with half lidded eyes. “Do I get a say in this?” Another thrust and cries out from him.

Kai simply replied. “Nope.”

He had to admit, Kai taking over such dominance with Uruha was beyond hot. Still, he didn’t want to hurt Uruha. Instead of asking, he placed the tip of his cock at Uruha’s already full entrance. Pressing in just a little, he didn’t even know how the fuck he could fit in there.

With half the tip inside, Uruha was shaking and biting down on his lip. “Are you okay, Uru?”

The reply he received was a jumble of words but eventually Uruha just nodded, eyes shut. Reita pushed in more, only half way in. Feeling Kai’s cock against his own in such a tight place, fuck, he had no idea how he would last at this rate.

“Reita…” Kai moaned, leaning against Uruha’s back and giving a light thrust. That had an affect on Uruha and Reita alike, it felt so damn good but he couldn’t tell if Uruha’s whimpers were from pain or pleasure.

Pulling on Uruha’s hair, Kai again kissed him, Reita leaned up, his cock pushing in almost all the way, and he also joined in their kiss. Making it extremely awkward, just a clash of tongues. Kai pulled away, Reita kept Uruha’s mouth on his, pulling him down with him by the shoulders.

Having two cocks moving inside of Uruha must have been more pleasurable than Reita had imagined because with a low groan, Uruha was cumming against both of their stomachs. That made the insides even tighter, Kai lost it next, and Reita could feel his cum coating his own dick.

Making him not far behind, when Kai removed his cock, he came with a shudder, gripping on to Uruha’s body tightly. 

Eventually, after cleaning up—well sort of—they all bundled up underneath the covers with Reita in the middle. Within seconds, Kai was fast asleep. Reita looked over at Uruha in the darkness, he could see his eyelashes flutter every time he blinked.

“Are you okay?”

Uruha shifted, looking at him. “Just a bit sore.”

“That’s not what I meant.” He moved closer, grabbing Uruha’s hand from under the blanket.

“Don’t worry about me Rei.” That was kind of hard to do. When he was sober, all he fucking did was worry about him.

He didn’t know how to voice it, so he figured he would just show Uruha instead. Cupping his face, he rubbed Uruha’s cheek, moving in to kiss the side of his curved lips. 

As their kiss deepened, he moved on top of Uruha. Hearing Kai softly snoring but ignoring it completely, as he surrounded himself with just Uruha. This was something he had been waiting for, for what seemed months. Maybe even years, and this time he wasn’t going to mess it up.

He felt Uruha hook his legs round him when he moved between them. Feeling Uruha becoming harder against his stomach, he groaned into his mouth. Sliding up and down over Uruha’s body, the friction of his abdomen along side of Uruha’s cock had his ex—no, current lover—panting and mewing. So fucking adorable.

“How sore are you?” He whispered into Uruha’s ear.

“I’m fine.” Uruha nudged his nose against Reita’s, making him smile. Feeling like an absolute dork at the moment, but it didn’t matter to Reita, because it was with Uruha. And this was how it was supposed to be.

Playing with the stands of Uruha’s hair, Reita rested his face in the crook of his lover’s neck. Letting Uruha basically hump his stomach, while he slid his erection between Uruha’s ass cheeks, his cock rubbing against the sheets. Both moving at a slow pace, just enjoying it as if it were their first time all over again. “Rei…”

Reita pushed himself into Uruha’s tender hole, still slick from earlier, coated with cum. When he was fully in, he just stopped and savored how it felt, holding on to Uruha, who was doing the same. They clung to each other for a while, Uruha’s heavy breathing and Kai’s snores, the only sounds to be heard.

Pulling out a little bit had Uruha arching off the bed, a silent moan. The moonlight across his skin made him look even more gorgeous. Just as slow, Reita pushed back in. “You’re so perfect.” He mumbled along Uruha’s jaw as he kissed the skin there. An apology lingered on his tongue but he didn’t say it, knowing that Uruha probably wouldn’t believe him at his point.

He could feel Uruha’s hand rubbing his back, up and down, his legs still clinging to him with a death grip. Each thrust sent his entire body into a shock, a feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time. Sometimes it was just so fucking good to go slow, especially with Uruha.

“Rei…” Another whine, Uruha’s hands moved up to the back of his head. On instinct Reita moved down to kiss Uruha again. Never getting enough of those lips, his unique taste. Then he pulled away and out of him completely, and leaned against the headboard. 

Uruha sat up, then straddled Reita’s lap, moving over his erection. In one move, he was inside of Uruha again. Just like he wanted, Uruha rode him with the same gentle pace. Reita circled his arms around him, hands moving to cup Uruha’s ass. While Uruha let his arms move once again into Reita’s hair.

Again their lips were combined with a tangle of tongues. It wouldn’t be much longer, even if he wanted this to last a lifetime. It was all too perfect. “I love you, Uruha.”

At that Uruha let out a more vocal moan, resting his head on Reita’s shoulder. “I love you too.” It almost sounded like a sob. “So much.”

He couldn’t help it, bucking his hips in a sharp movement made Uruha gasp, hands gripping his shoulders. Here for the second time, he came inside of Uruha, muffling his groan into Uruha’s neck. In that same moment, Uruha coated their skin once again with his release.

Reita went back to his position in the bed with Uruha and Kai at his sides. In an instant, Uruha curled up against him. For once he felt like he did something right and that this relationship was back on track. “I fucked up so bad.” Reita whispered, he put an arm around Uruha, keeping him close.

“No, I did.” Keeping his voice also low, Uruha said and then kissed his chest.

“But I’ve been so stupid.” He glanced at Kai, wondering what everything would be like now if he had never gone to Kai that one night.

He could feel Uruha smile against his skin. “You’ve always been an idiot, Rei.”

“Shut up.” He let out a quiet laugh, and then rubbed Uruha’s shoulder. “So, what happened between you and the librarian?” It was weird asking but he really wanted to know.

“Hm.” Uruha thought for a moment. “He was actually perfect in almost everyway. Except that he was afraid of my dick.” Now it was Uruha laughing, the hot breath tickled his chest. “But then there was also you. Could never stop talking or thinking about you.” He let out a sigh. “It just would never work.” Lifting his head, Uruha looked into his eyes. “Never will, unless it’s with you.”

It took him a second to process all the information. He was happy it didn’t work out, even if Uruha had been hurt in the process because here he was in his arms. Not being able to resist those curved lips he captured them again. Uruha rested his forehead against Reita’s and whispered, “Even if Kai stays, I’m never leaving you again.”

That made his heart swell, at what that meant, he couldn’t have possibly meant that the three of them could keep this up. All of them together. “I don’t know…”

“You don’t want me here?”

“No! I mean yes, of course I do. That’s not what I meant. Fuck, never mind.” This was hard; he didn’t know what the hell he wanted except for the fact that he did want Uruha here. “I want you to stay.”

“Don’t worry about it now. We can talk about it later, when you are better.” This whole time he had forgotten about the urge lurking in the back of his mind, the need for more. Now it was back full force. 

“I want it so bad Uruha.” It was the truth and he was scared of what he might do to get some.

“I know you do. But you aren’t getting any more.” If Uruha’s stern voice didn’t stop him, he knew that Uruha would find other ways to make sure he didn’t. He wanted to say thank you, but for some reason found it hard to. “Okay, I have had a long day and feel like the most loved asshole in the world right now. I’m going to sleep.”

Reita couldn’t help but chuckle, though it was probably a bad thing to do. Since Uruha had broken up with his fiancé or whatever today then came here and had a threesome. He kissed Uruha’s forehead and said goodnight.

 

In the morning, he had never felt more like shit before. His head was pounding and bile rested in the back of his throat. When he tried to sit up, it felt like his whole body was sore. “What the fuck?” He grumbled to himself.

Feeling Kai move beside him with a groan, he thought maybe he was feeling the same way. Fuck he needed those damn drugs right now. His mind kept going back to how he felt like he was going to throw up. Which ended up being a really bad idea. Having no time to react, the best he could do was lean over Uruha and empty his stomachs contents on the floor.

When he pulled back on the bed, wiping his mouth with the back of his arm, Uruha was staring at him. “Well, good morning sweetheart.”

All he could do was groan again, shutting his eyes; he fell back against the mattress. “Ugh, don’t move the bed.” Kai complained.

Uruha got out of the bed and went into the joined bathroom. Keeping one eye open, he saw Uruha clean up his vomit with a towel. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Uruha left the room and came back a few moments later. The smell of his vile throw up finally gone, he felt more at ease. “I’m going to make some tea for you both.” And then Uruha left again.

Kai moved closer, putting his face into his neck. “Can you give me a kiss?”

“I’ll taste like puke.” His lips curled in disgust at the thought.

“I don’t care.” Lifting his head, Kai hovered over his lips, eyes basically closed just like his own. Reita couldn’t say no to that. It was a nice distraction from the god-awful feeling that his body was going through.

“Here’s your tea.” At hearing Uruha’s voice, Reita pulled away, suddenly feeling guilty all over again, just like the first night he spent with Kai.

“Thanks Uru.” He said, Uruha kissed his forehead and even did the same for Kai.

“Drink just a little and maybe you both should get some more rest. I’ll make some soup for when you are ready to eat. Okay?” Uruha stroked Reita’s hair; he could feel it sticking to his forehead. His body was fighting whether or not it was hot or cold.

He nodded feeling to weak. Kai groaned, sitting up and taking a sip of his tea. “I have to piss so bad.”

“Go.” Reita closed his eyes again; fuck the sun was bright.

“It’s so far though.” Kai whined.

A grunt was all he could offer in reply. He heard movement on the other side of the bed then a hand stroking his back. “Uru?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you get rid of the sun?” The side Kai was on shifted, so he figured he finally went to empty his bladder.

Uruha laughed. “Maybe I can throw some extra blankets over the curtain rod.”

“Please.”

He must have fallen asleep because when he opened his eyes the room was darker. There were blankets covering the windows and for that he was grateful. His brain felt like it was going to explode but he was glad the nausea had gone away. At least for now. 

Looking around the room, he was the only one in there. He could hear laughing come from the living room. It made him wonder if Kai was already feeling better. A tinge of jealousy went through him, why did he still feel like shit?

“Uruha.” His voice was scratchy and he tried to be as loud as he could without making his head hurt more.

The door opened bringing in more natural light, letting him know it was indeed still daytime, he automatically shut his eyes. “You feel any better?”

“Not really.”

“At least you are speaking more than one word.” A chuckle, Uruha came to sit on the floor in front of him, resting his head on the bed, his fingers dancing along Reita’s arm. Uruha couldn’t seem to stop touching him and he loved it. A much needed comfort, especially now.

“What would I do without you?” He purred, when Uruha’s hand went into his hair, rubbing his head. Fuck it was just what he needed.

Watching Uruha close his eyes and smile, in that moment he felt better, like his headache just disappeared. “You used to say that all the time. Remember?” Eyes opened, so beautiful. “Because I always carried your hair gel in my school bag since you could never remember it. God, you were obsessed with that. Your hair always looked terrible.”

“Hey! I thought it looked pretty cool.” He mumbled.

Uruha snorted. “You’ve always had bad fashion sense.”

“You were just jealous of my awesome leather jacket.”

“The one that had so many holes that it was pretty much pointless? Please.”

“It wasn’t meant to be a jacket, it was stylish!”

Uruha’s smile was wide. “You are killing me, I just recalled how horrible it was. How do you even get holes in leather anyways?”

They both laughed, lost in their nostalgic moment. There was a creak by the door and Kai stood there, looking like shit. “Hey.”

“Come here and keep me warm.” Kai’s face lit up at that and crawled on the bed and wrapped his arms around Reita from behind. “You too.”

“I could use a nap.” Another smile, Uruha joined them both. Even with his head feeling like it was going to split open, Reita felt incredibly giddy, it was almost fucking ridiculous. 

Kai sat up looking at Uruha. “How’s your ass by the way?”

“Fine! Can we stop talking about my ass now?”

This time they all laughed together despite their current situation. Reita hoped that they could keep this up, because it was fucking great.


	18. Chapter 18

The following weeks were not fun ones that was for sure. Reita had set into his withdrawal from heroin, regularly weak, grumpy, bitchy, and puking, everywhere. It seemed that Kai wasn’t as affected. Every few days, Kai left to go home and in that time, Uruha wondered if he was still taking drugs. But he never brought it up, fearing it would hinder on Reita’s progress. After all, Reita came first.

The first week, Ruki had called him everyday, wanting to make sure he was okay. It broke his heart and eventually they became friends once again and Uruha was happy about that. But finally he told the man that he was staying with Reita again. Ruki wasn’t in the least surprised, “I know you love him. But don’t be a stranger okay? I’ll always be here for you.”

“I know, Ruki. And thank you.” He held the phone with his shoulder, busy doing another round of laundry, since Reita couldn’t seem to make it to the toilet only a few meters away.

“How is he doing?” Knowing it was painful for Ruki to talk about Reita, he just sighed, wondering why he always brought him up.

“He’s doing better…I think.” Turning the knob on the washer, he started the load. “I’m gauging it on how much puke I’ve had to clean today.”

Hearing Ruki chuckle made him smile. “I feel bad for you. Maybe I should come over and help.”

“Though much appreciated, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Not yet anyways.” Dropping on top of the couch, Uruha blew air past his lips, with Reita sleeping; he could finally rest a little bit since Kai was missing.

“Did you just fart? That’s not very lady like.”

“What? No!” Now he was laughing. “Just goofing off. I’m no lady, so what does it matter anyways?”

“You’re not dressed up today then?”

“No…I never dress up.” His laugh turned nervous, Uruha didn’t need another excuse to make Reita start vomiting. 

“That’s a damn shame.” 

Uruha couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “Seriously. Ruki.”

“What? Just saying.” He heard Ruki shuffling around and let out a groan. “We’re friends, right?”

He sure hoped so, because of late, Ruki was his only friend. Not counting Reita and he didn’t know what the hell Kai was to him, that bit just left him confused. “Yeah.”

“This feels awkward though. I met someone.”

That made Uruha smile, he felt relived and at the same time happy for him. “Really now? Is he hot?”

There was a silent pause. “How did you know I met a guy?”

“Because I turned you to the gay side.” Trying to mimic an evil laugh, Uruha gave up and snorted. “How long have you been seeing him?”

“Just one night but I think it went well. He’s so gorgeous.” Ruki sighed. “But I still haven’t heard from him.”

“Here I thought you knew everything yet you are asking me for dating advice?” Uruha had to bite his lip to contain his smile.

“I’m not an expert in this.”

“Either am I!”

Ruki grunted. “I just hope he calls soon.”

“If he is smart, he will.” He would have to be a fool not to, just like Uruha. But that was already history. Hearing Reita call out to him softly from the bedroom, Uruha said his goodbyes to Ruki.

“Okay, I’ll talk to you later.” Hanging up, Uruha heaved himself off the couch.

Inside the bedroom, Reita was on his side, holding his head in his hands. “Yeah, baby?”

“Where’s Kai?” Reita grumbled, lifting his hand barely to look at him.

“I guess at home, he left last night. You want me to call him?” He gazed at Reita, kneeling down the side of the bed, hoping he said no, because he really was afraid that Kai might be getting high.

“Could you, please?” Sighing, Reita suck back into the mattress. He was actually saying please and nicely as well. So Uruha had to do it.

“Yeah, okay.” Standing up, Uruha brushed his fingers over Reita’s jaw, feeling the scattered stubble. “Do you need anything else?”

Reita clasped his hand the one he had running through his unshaved hairs, stopping his movement. His eyes opened barely, “No. Jus wanna sleep.”

Leaving the room, he closed the door quietly before bringing out his cell phone again to try and give Kai a call. But it went straight to voicemail. Sighing, Uruha gave up after three times. He twirled the phone in his hands, contemplating on calling Aoi and seeing if he had seen Kai. It would give him a confirmation on his fears. But in a way, he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to know. Plus, talking to Aoi was not one of his strong suits. 

Deciding on thinking about it, he put on some flip-flops and tied his hair back, then went out the door to check the mailbox at the apartment’s entrance. Uruha probably looked terrible, but he didn’t care, not right now. He had no energy left to put into his appearance. 

Putting the key in the lock, he had to jump closer to catch the amount of mail falling out. Did Reita not even check the mail since he had been gone? An unsettling set in his stomach. Trudging back into the apartment, he sat down at the kitchen table, rummaging through the mail, correction, bills.

Reita did say something about him already using up all his savings, and not wisely either. And Uruha was dead broke. The heating had already been cut off; it was only a matter of time before everything else did also. Having already used the money Ruki gave him for food, he had nothing left. He would have to figure out someway to get some more.

Giving up, he decided to call Aoi. Just to check if he had seen Kai lately. “Yes, babe?”

Uruha couldn’t help but roll his eyes, “Would you stop already?”

“What do you want?” Straight to the point.

“Have you seen Kai?”

“I don’t kiss and tell, babe.” Just the way that Aoi had said it, like he was victorious in something, made Uruha know. That Kai had been there and it made his heart sink. Perhaps he had been a fool all along, thinking that he could magically cure two grown men of their drug addictions.

He closed his eyes, “Is he there right now?”

Aoi laughed, he could hear him moving the phone and then a quiet voice came on. “Uruha—”

“I don’t want to hear it. Reita is asking for you. Are you going to come over or should I tell him that you’re busy?” Starting out sighing, Uruha quickly went to snapping by the end and immediately he felt guilty for it.

“I’ll be there soon.” Then Kai hung up.

Uruha hadn’t realized that his hands were shaking until he set the mobile on the table. Everything was coming down on him, hard and fast. And knowing that all of it was most likely his fault made it all the more difficult to swallow. As if it couldn’t get any worse, there was a loud clank and he could hear the refrigerator shut off. A tear slid down his cheek as he abruptly laughed. “Fucking perfect.”

Now what?

Wiping away his pathetic tears, he called Ruki, not knowing what else to do. “Hey, you okay?”

Was Ruki really that good, or was Uruha just a shit friend who only called when he needed help?

“Um.” He tried to control his shaky breath. “The electricity cut off and…” He didn’t want to tell Ruki about Kai, at least not over the phone while his voice was cracking with each word.

“I’ll be right over.” Ruki said, he could hear the other already leaving wherever he was in a hurry. He nodded, and then laughed stupidly when he knew Ruki couldn’t see him.

“Okay.” Short goodbyes and Uruha sat at the table in the dark and silence, waiting.

And the wait was shorter than he expected, Ruki texted him when he arrived. Uruha opened the door and let his ex in, not a moment sooner he was in a warm embrace that made him let go. When would his pitiful display of crying come to an end?

As if reading his mind, Ruki rubbed his back. “It’s okay, you’ve been under a lot of stress.”

Breaking apart, Uruha nodded and wiped at his eyes, giving a stressed smile. “Thanks for coming.”

“I told you that I am here for you.” Glancing around the room, Ruki said, “Do you have the electric company’s number? I’ll call them and pay off the balance.”

Uruha wanted to protest that he didn’t need to do that, but he knew that Ruki wouldn’t want to hear it and he really did need the electric back. In the end, he nodded, going to the kitchen table and picking up one of the past due bills. Handing it to Ruki, he tried not to cry again.

Sitting down at the table, Ruki called the company, pulling out one of his credit cards. Feeling his heart swell in his chest, Uruha decided to leave and check on Reita. 

Entering the room, Uruha was shown a nice view of Reita’s ass, no matter how tiny it was, he couldn’t help but smile. Since Reita liked to stay naked just about 24/7, not that Uruha minded at all but he pulled the blanket over him anyways. That made Reita shift awake, he looked a little bit better than earlier. Ruki could be heard talking on the phone; it made Reita scrunch his brow. “Is that Kai?”

Uruha bit his lip and sat down on the bed, hoping that Reita wouldn’t freak out. “No, it’s Ruki.” He saw Reita’s eyes widened and quickly continued, “He’s here to help. Right now, he’s on the phone with the electric company, since they cut us off.” To reassure Reita, he leaned in and pressed their lips together. Reita opened his mouth and sucked on Uruha’s bottom lip, taking it into his mouth. Though Reita had some reeking breath, Uruha smiled against his lips, loving every moment that was only theirs. 

He felt Reita’s hand go to the back of his neck and give it a squeeze. “Okay.” Only then did it occur to him, looking into those eyes, how Reita must feel. Reita had always been the one to take care of him and lately that hadn’t been happening. And now here was Ruki saving the day, taking it all away from him. “Guess I should get dressed.”

“Do you feel alright?”

“Yeah.” Reita took off the covers and Uruha couldn’t help but admire his naked body. Grinning, Reita came closer and gave him a quick kiss before getting out of bed, tugging on his half-hard cock.

Uruha had to look away before he demanded for more. He left Reita to put on some clothes and found Ruki just in time as he hung up his phone and smiled. “It’s all set. They said the power should be back on within the next few hours.”

“Thank you.” Uruha said, returning the smile. “I’ll pay you back.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Ruki stood up. “If you want, you can work at the library. We need help putting up the books and organizing the aisles.”

“Really? That would be great thanks!” He couldn’t help but give Ruki a hug, this man was a god send.

“Hey.” A gruff voice came from the doorway, Reita stood there, looking tired instead of the usual sickly look.

Ruki and Uruha broke apart, Ruki nodded, “Hey.”

Looking between them both, Uruha prayed that they could stay civil. Now that Reita was sober, it seemed more plausible. Reita moved into the kitchen and wrapped an arm around Uruha’s waist, “Thanks.”

It made Uruha’s heart beat wildly, that Reita was actually being pleasant, not only respectful.

“It’s no problem. I’m glad to see you doing better.”

Reita scratched his chin, “Do I look better?”

Smiling, Ruki chuckled, “I preferred the naked look.” That made Reita smile as well.

Uruha couldn’t believe the interaction taking place. It made him feel all warm and fuzzy, maybe things would actually start being normal once again. A buzz sounded out, Ruki looked at his phone. And the wide grin that crossed over his face made Uruha know exactly who was contacting him. “Your hot date?”

Blushing, Ruki nodded. “Sorry, but I think I should get going.”

“I wouldn’t want to keep you!” Uruha laughed, moving out of Reita’s embrace, he went and gave Ruki a friendly hug. “Thanks again and good luck!”

After seeing Ruki out, Reita pushed him against the wall, kissing him rough enough that they clanked their teeth together. Reita’s stubble left his lips feeling raw and he liked it. His hips rolled against Reita in a needy movement. Groaning, Reita moved his lips to Uruha’s neck, sucking hard enough to break the skin.

Holding on to Reita with one hand, his shoved his other down his lover’s pants, gripping the rock hard flesh in his hand. Reita bit down hard on his neck, causing him to moan, stroking Reita’s cock in a desperate need.

Reita pushed his hand down Uruha’s pants, stroking him all the same. With his mind completely lost into the desires, he clutched Reita’s bare bicep. The hand he had on Reita’s cock was slapped away, then Reita had both of their cocks in his hand, feeling his erection slide against his own, had him trembling. “Reita…” He moaned, it was too much; he felt the pressure release from his cock as he came.

The mouth on his neck moved back to his lips, the roughness was back, it was perfect as he rode out his orgasm. Reita’s hand stilled, he noticed that his lover hadn’t got off so he sunk down to his knees, taking Reita into his mouth. Instantly hands went into his hair, pushing him down, his cock hitting the back of his throat. Uruha could taste some of his own cum mixed in with Reita’s pre-cum, the flavors had him moaning over the hot flesh in his mouth. 

He could feel Reita coming closer, his thrusts became sluggish, taking Reita’s cock into his hand, he pulled back so that only the head was in his mouth, while his hand worked the rest. Pulses of cum hit his tongue; it makes him suck harder until Reita pulls him off and up for another kiss. Uruha loved it when Reita wanted to taste himself, it was dirty and a turn on, he could go for another round.

There was a sound coming from the front door, a key in the lock. Kai must be back. Both of them tidied up their appearance, still trying to catch their breaths when Kai walked in. Uruha didn’t even know where the rest of his cum might have landed. 

Thinking that Kai might look like he was strung out, Uruha prepared for the worst. But Kai smiled brightly, looking completely fine. “I can see that you’re feeling better Reita.”

“Yeah, where have you been?”

Kai snuck a quick glance at Uruha. “Trying to find another job.”

Keeping his swollen lips tight, Uruha rested against the wall and watched the exchange.

“Any luck?”

“No.”

“Imagine that.” Reita left the room. Did he figure it out? Uruha couldn’t be sure; he looked at Kai, his smile long gone; now he looked tired. When Uruha heard the shower turn on, he eyed Kai suspiciously. 

“What were you doing there?” Uruha kept his voice low.

Leaning against the couch, Kai sighed. “I think you know why.”

Keeping his voice down, Uruha snapped. “Whoring yourself for drugs?”

Kai turned away from him that was more than enough of an answer. He was at least hoping that it wasn’t true, but really, what other reason would there be for him to be at Aoi’s place? “Why?”

“Because Uruha. I’m not like you or Reita. I need it. I’m fine. Reita needed help but I don’t.” Now Kai was looking at him, not breaking eye contact.

“That’s bullshit.” And what the hell did he mean not like him or Reita? “What makes you so different?”

“You both have each other. I don’t have anyone.” Kai’s voice rose slightly, but he soon lowered it, looking in the direction of the bathroom.

Frowning, Uruha whispered, “What the hell are you talking about? We both care for you.”

“My turn to call bullshit.” Face turning angry, Kai let out a shaky breath. Soon his face fell, again only looking tired.

“Kai, what’s wrong? Just let me help you.” Uruha was desperate; he didn’t want Kai to fall into Aoi’s world. Afraid that it would only leave him damaged or even worse, dead. But he tried not to think about the latter option.

“I think I should just go.” He shuffled on his feet, looking reluctant to head towards he door.

“Go where?” Reita walked in with a towel around his waist, hair still wet, sticking to his face, which was still not shaved.

As soon as Kai saw Reita like that, his whole demeanor melted away. He moved over to Reita slowly and hugged him. Reita had a tight hold over Kai. Guess it was settled then, Kai wasn’t going anywhere. At least not tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is some more. Woo, I don't really know what to say. Just hope everyone likes where this is going. Because I have no clue, okay, I sort of do, but no lol. Let me know where you want to see it go! I love seeing what everyone thinks.
> 
> Comments and kudos are love <3


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to such positive words of encourgement from my fellow readers, I knocked this chapter out. <3 Only one more left!

Kai’s whole persona had been full of desperation. Eventually, late in the night he had cried himself to sleep. Both Uruha and him snuck out of the bedroom.

Reita was determined to get some damn answers. Even though he prided on himself for not being completely oblivious, he knew there was something not good going on, he just had to figure out what the fuck it was.

“What the hell is going on?”

Sighing, Uruha brushed hair out of his face and looked at Reita with those gorgeous eyes. “I’m not really sure myself, it’s something you’ll have to ask him. In fact, I think tomorrow when everyone is rested, we should all sit down and talk.”

That idea frightened him, given he would never let it show, “Yeah, alright.”

Somehow they had come out here together, to do one thing or another, but both of them seemed too tired to even open their mouths any further. Reita was fine with that, Uruha rested his head on his shoulder and they sat there, comfortable and sleepy.

Uruha broke the silence, “Let’s just go to bed.”

With sluggish and over dramatic movements, Reita moved towards their bedroom where Kai was currently sleeping. Scooting in, he rested on his back, wrapping one arm around Kai and then one behind Uruha when he got in, offering a muttered goodnight to Uruha.

“Night, love you.” He heard in return.

 

*

 

Of course, in the morning, Kai was gone. Reita tried to control his anger and let out a shaky sigh. Maybe he had left a note? After searching the apartment more than thoroughly, there was nothing. Un-fucking-believable. 

Uruha came towards him, where he sat sulking at the kitchen table, “Kai’s gone?”

Reita nodded in confirmation. 

“Maybe it’s for the best.”

“I’m getting real fucking tired of this routine.” It seemed when Kai would actually sense up and stay, Reita would turn around and boom, Kai would be gone, again.

“Reita…” Uruha looked conflicted, so Reita edged him on, with a notion of his hand, “I didn’t want to say anything but I think it might do some good. That you and I take a little vacation. To get away from this stuffy apartment. And to get away from…Kai.”

“With what money—“ Reita didn’t even need to finish that sentence. Of course any money that Uruha magically ended up came from his _sugar daddy_. He tried not to grind his teeth.

“I think we should, no matter what. It will give us time to find ourselves again…and each other,” pausing, glancing at Uruha’s somber expression, all the slight anger Reita felt slipped away again. What he really needed was anger management. At least he was able to admit it that was the first step. Right?

Reita’s voice shook, “Do you think—that then, we would be okay?”

Dark eyes darted away from his direction, Reita felt his heart pang with guilt, and then he heard Uruha whisper, “I don’t know…”

That look of uncertainty, fear and longing in Uruha’s eyes were enough to make Reita determined to make things right.

 

*

_Undisclosed amount of weeks later…_

Reita never asked how much Uruha may have acquired from Ruki…

But he was definitely not complaining now. Of course of all the places to go in the world, Uruha was afraid to fly too far away and they ended up in South Korea. Claiming that Seoul was a city full of new experiences; which included beautiful men and art.

Yes, men. After fucking everything, Uruha had even offered that he was fine with them taking another man in bed—together. To say that the idea didn’t excite him would be lying, but he thought it through and decided he would never go down that road again.

If there would ever be a third man in their relationship again, Reita would want no one other than Kai. The one he still loved, or at least thought he did. Kai—whom they hadn’t heard from since that night. He worried everyday that he would see in the news that his body was found. Then it got to the point where he was concerned that Kai would end up at some place so far gone that no one would even find his body.

“Reita,” hearing his name, he looked at Uruha, still in a daze. Currently they were sitting on a rooftop at a somewhat casual in-between fancy restaurant. Seoul’s lights brightening the night sky, a warm breeze from the ocean drifting over them. “Reita, you’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“Going off into your own world…and worrying,” Uruha’s bow lips frowned because he knew exactly what Reita was so troubled about. When in fact, his mind should be contemplating something else entirely. In his pocket was a simple band, not even gold. Maybe silver, he wasn’t good at this shit. On a rooftop, in a sort-of-exotic place, with the man he loves. It all seemed cliché, but right.

Uruha and him had been through it all, thick and thin. Though useless because they couldn’t even really marry, it was the thought that counted right? No one else in the world had to care or know. It just needed to be between them, so that Uruha knew that Reita would never leave him again and that he would pronounce his undying love for him. Be the romantic man that Uruha deserved, maybe even throw in some roses for fuck’s sake.

“Reita, maybe we should go back to the hotel,” lifting one hand in the air, Uruha waived over a waiter, ready for the check. Ready to leave and Reita couldn’t help but think this would end his chance to do this again. Or end his courage altogether. 

“Wait—no. Not yet.”

Setting all his attention on him, Uruha waited for an explanation, or anything. Reita swallowed.

Reaching his hands over the table, he grabbed Uruha’s and held them in his own. Clearing his throat, he could almost feel the dinner that they had just enjoyed threatening its way back up.

“Shima,” he began, feeling the rough skin of Uruha’s inner hands, “you are the most wonderful man—no person—I have ever met.” Uruha laughed and he knew that he was blushing as well, but before Uruha could tell him how corny he was acting, Reita continued, “Both of us aren’t perfect, we’re only human. Humans that have a special need that must be addressed for each of us individually. Your need is to be loved, taken care of, and…fuck.”

Take a breath.

“And I failed at that,” Uruha opened his mouth but Reita shook his head, “maybe we both did. We both made mistakes. The point being, that we are here now. Together. I’ve never felt stronger about anything except the first day I asked you out. I was a complete mess then but an even more mess now, and yet here you are still with me. Through it all. I couldn’t ask for anyone better to be by my side. No matter what.”

Another breath, before continuing he looked at the wide smile on Uruha’s face and almost felt like a sappy romantic. Retracting his right hand, he tug into his pocket to find the cheap ring and withdrew it.

“Uruha, do you want to marry me?”

All tension left him when Uruha started laughing, “You’re supposed to say, ‘will you marry me?’ Of course I want to!”

Not caring what others thought, Reita leaned over the table a kissed Uruha and slipped the ring over his finger. 

“I love you,” Uruha still kept his smile, “you loveable idiot.”

“Hey!” Sitting back down in his chair, he let his lips curl up, “And yeah I love you too.”

“God! Way to ruin the moment!” He knew Uruha was joking but his heart skipped a beat where he thought he really might have done just that. “I can’t believe this is happening!”

He was glad that Uruha was happy, right now that was all that mattered. One step at a time, they would get through this. Recover from their shaky past like they always did.

“Now is when I take you back to the hotel and we fuck—“ seeing the happiness fade to a glare made Reita change that up, “I mean, make love. Right?”

 

*

 

Uruha still didn’t know if he was living in reality or still stuck somewhere in a dream. One dream that he thought would never happen was actually coming true. Reita loved him, wanted to be with him and marry him. It was more than he could of asked for.

Back at the hotel, he retreated into the bathroom with a special hand picked outfit—courtesy of Ruki—speaking of who, Uruha pulled out his mobile and texted his friend.

_you won’t believe it! I’m engaged <33333_

It never took long for a reply to come in.

_That’s great! So happy for you, now go celebrate (^_－)☆_

Smiling to himself he set his phone down and proceeded to take off his clothes. Inside his little gift bag, there was a set of fishnets, garter belt, and laced women’s underwear. Holding the soft material in his hands already had him getting excited. He just hoped that Reita was really okay with all this. Of course, he had to be, he loved him. No matter what.

Completely naked in front of the bathroom mirror, Uruha admired himself. He had never been vain but he did feel comfortable for the most part with his body. First he took a generous helping of lube and applied it at and in his entrance. He had to be well prepared for the night after all; his finger slipped in easily, at the contact his cock twitched.

Removing his fingers, he cleaned them off and the slipped on the tights, he made sure to go slow and enjoy every bit. His fingers sliding around the top when he reached his thigh to even it out, and then he let them slap against his skin. And he couldn’t help but shudder.

Next came the lace panties, black and fitting, hugging tightly against his semi-erect cock; the fabric felt amazing, making him moan out a little bit. Then the little slip with the garter belt, clipping them on to his fishnets, he let out sigh. Feeling comfortable, sexy; he was ready to give Reita one hell of a night.

Exiting the bathroom, he saw Reita sprawled out on the bed with the television remote in his hand. Shirtless, yet still wearing his worn out jeans, and Uruha could happily say, looking sexy as hell. And all his.

Feet spread apart, he stood tall with his right hip sticking out and arms by his sides, “Well?”

Reita looked away from the TV and immediately jumped off the bed, the remote flying off somewhere in the room. “Uh…”

Uruha took that as a good sign, that he was speechless. Slinking towards his fiancé—still strange to him to think about it, fiancé—Uruha ran his hands over Reita’s bare chest and leaned in close to his ear, “Will you fuck me?”

Arms wrapped around him, “I thought that…it was making love.”

Deciding to shut him up, Uruha brought his lips to Reita’s, chaste at first but quickly soaring to passionate which would eventually become plain sloppy. Just the way he liked it. His left hand ventured down Reita’s body, making its way down to grip his fiancés growing erection through his jeans.

Believe it or not, the last few weeks they had abstained from any type of sexual intercourse. So Uruha was absolutely sure that tonight would be one passion-fueled night. 

Moving away from Reita’s mouth, Uruha trailed his lips and tongue down that toned torso, until he hooked his teeth around the band of the pair of jeans in his way. He heard Reita chuckle, using his hand Uruha unbuttoned and slowly unzipped the intrusive clothing.

Pulling out Reita’s cock, Uruha moved closer, pushing his nose against the small patch of pubes and inhaled the musky scent. Hands in his hair tugged and tangled, Uruha took the hint and darted his tongue out to lick the tip of Reita’s leaking cock. A shiver ran down his half-nude body at the taste of pre-cum, without a second thought Uruha took the length into his mouth, circling his tongue around the head before sliding up and down the slit.

“Fuck Shima, you know just what I like,” Reita moaned.

The use of his childhood nickname made it all the more intimate and erotic; he hummed over the flesh in his mouth and took more in. So thick and hot, feeling oddly fitting in his mouth, Uruha couldn’t get enough.

“You need to stop or I won’t last.”

Uruha pulled away, licking his wet lips, “We have all night.”

Going back to the hardened flesh in front of him, Uruha smirked as he licked down the shaft and brought his hand up to cup Reita’s balls. Bobbing his head, he took it all into his throat and almost all the way back out, with his fingers trailing back into the cleft of Reita’s ass.

A cry out and the tightened grip in his hair let him know it was time, moving the tip into his mouth, Uruha caught all the delicious cum right on his tongue, savored it and then swallowed.

Arms hooked underneath his armpits and hoisted him up; Reita practically tossed him on the bed with a look of hunger. “Still not satisfied then?” Uruha wiggled his ass and spread his legs.

“Never…” Reita growled and climbed on the bed over him.

Another kiss, bare chests pressed against one another, and Uruha’s aching cock rubbing against Reita’s already awakening one. He couldn’t help but smile, or at least try to while Reita kept placing little kisses all over his mouth.

“Maybe you’re not so old after all.”

“Will you shut up,” A nip to his lips, “before I decided to go to sleep instead.”

Grabbing ahold of Reita’s erection, Uruha guided it to his entrance, slipping the panties to the side and lowered himself down on it before Reita even thought of changing his mind again.

Both of them clung to each other, whimpers and moans mingling together as they made love. Each thrust swelling his heart, their eyes never left each other’s, lips kept together…

He felt complete once again. All his fears, troubles, and obligations so far away. Right now and it was just Reita and Uruha. The way it should have always been and continue to be.

Or so he hoped.

When dreams become a reality there is always the chance of them ending the way they weren’t supposed to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I get a round of applause? Holy shit. The power of words my friends. I only had 200 words written on this chapter and then I had a break down, about to quit it all you all saved me! And then this all flew out begging to be written down. So thank you everyone for being awesome and suffering through my little fits <3
> 
> You're all the reason I write, so I hope this wasn't a dissapointment. Also, one chapter left...then I can focus on Dancing With You or maybe that new side story I was talking about...
> 
> Hot damn.
> 
> And sorry for mistakes, I read through it three times and caught a ton...but I know I probably still missed some...
> 
> Comments are love <3


	20. Chapter 20

Leaving Reita had been one of the hardest moments in his life, even after everything. Once again, all he knew to be true was the fact that he didn’t belong there. Uruha did. They were bonded, a bond that had been forged so tightly so long ago. And Kai had no place breaking it. In the beginning it fueled a jealous rage that as time passed became lessened. Only to turn into an ache that would never go away.

He let his obsessive nature cloud his judgment, reeling on his selfish desires to keep Reita all to himself. Tried so hard to hate Uruha, but yet it fell short when he realized that he was not so bad after all. 

Uruha tried to save him.

Letting out a chuckle at the thought, Kai groaned soon afterwards, his whole body aching and mind never stopping. He honestly had no idea where he was since location never really did matter. It was always about the goods, temporary satisfaction; whether it was drugs or someone to warm him for the night.

After Reita he had become worse, it was inevitable, there had to be a time where he would finally break and it had come. Kai no longer thought of himself as invincible, one of these times he wasn’t going to wake up. 

Sitting up he rubbed his eyes to clear the blur away, wherever he was seemed to be some kind of warehouse. Abandoned, if he was with someone before they were no longer here. Underneath him was a tattered old towel, makeshift bed on the dusty floor. 

Standing up gifted him a major migraine, causing him to slightly slant off balance and place a hand on his head. It had definitely become worse. On the floor lay a used needle, “Shit.” 

He let it be, hoping that it had been new when he used it. Memory was always a blur, the only one’s clear were the moments he shared with Reita.

Kai wondered how Reita was doing, if he still thought about them and what they had. He really thought it had been real. 

No time to think about it all now, he had to get back to Aoi.

After knocking on the door because it was locked, otherwise he would have just strolled right in.

“Wild night?” Aoi asked, stepping aside and letting Kai inside, “You could at least called, baby.” He knew that Aoi was mocking him but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

“Not right now, Aoi,” he scolded, “All I want is a shower.”

“Then you wont mind if I join you,” it wasn’t a question, Kai knew better than to argue. Dealing with Aoi’s temper was the last thing he wanted right now. So he gave a nod and they continued to walk in silence to the bathroom.

In no time they were naked and inside the stall, Aoi stood behind him, kissing his shoulder. Such an intimate touch that meant nothing. With his head bowed, Kai gazed at his arms as the water ran down his face, all the marks from his injections. He had become such a fucking mess. 

A hand in his hair pulled hard, tilting his head to the left, and then Aoi’s lips and teeth were grazing his neck. “I read some news today,” Aoi teased, like Kai would care about anything going on around him. He was merely here to barely function, not even living.

Kai let his body relax, resting against the shower wall as Aoi’s hand traveled down his ass. The touch making his legs spread automatically. Fingers prodding at his entrance, he let out a sigh.

“Uruha seems to be doing well,” good for him, Kai thought, concentrating more on what was going on with his ass. “Apparently, Reita proposed to him.”

That received a reaction out of him, a whimper escaped him and his eyes began to water against his futile attempts to stop the flow. Aoi slammed into him, the rough thrust made him bash his face against the tile wall. He could taste blood in his mouth but didn’t know if it was coming from his mouth or nose, his entire face killing him.

As Aoi continued his brutal assault on his ass, Kai became more and more aroused. He clawed at the tile with his nails, little squeals of delight every time Aoi brushed against his prostate, now he could lose himself for a little bit. 

Then he blinked, his vision black. And blinked again. The third time, he finally could see again. Still in the shower on the floor. He felt empty and realized he was alone. The pain in his head was full force, making him want to just keep his eyes closed and never open them again.

Somehow he managed to stumble out of the tub and lean against the bathroom wall before falling. In front of him was the mirror, no longer fogged…just how long had he been knocked out?

Seeing his reflection, the pounding in his head made sense. Aoi had done quite a number on him, a black eye, swollen lips and probably a broken nose. Kai wondered what had made Aoi so angry, maybe it was Uruha…? 

They were both men in love with other men, forced together in some kind of never ending hell. Life had always been a battle, one that Kai was constantly losing. Aoi on the other hand had the perfect chance to live a life meant for him, yet he decided against it. It still made no sense to Kai.

Using the wall for support, Kai made his way to the bedroom where Aoi sat writing in a notebook like nothing was amiss, that there wasn’t a ruined man unconscious in his bathroom for who knows how long. He scoffed, hardly was he a man.

“I see you’re finally up,” Aoi said, not looking up from whatever he was doing, “I left you some on the bedside table.”

Kai’s gaze adverted to the table and there laid a baggy full of his choice of drug, spoon, lighter and needle—a new one. “Thank you.”

As he prepared the heroin, Kai’s mind kept going back to what Aoi had said. Uruha and Reita…they were going to get married. How absurd. But was it really? They had been together for so long, he was just being bitter. Because it should be him and Reita, not Uruha. Damn Uruha.

Looking at Aoi, on the outside he seemed still the same; cocky, confident and still an asshole. But Kai knew that he was taking this as hard as he was, underneath Aoi’s whole persona was still a caring person somewhere. He was human after all.

Tying a strap of cloth around his arm, Kai tapped his skin. Finding a useable vein, Kai brought his shaky hand up, holding the needle filled with his poison and injected. All the pain went away.

Kai rested against the wall as he sat on the bed next to Aoi. Now he had more courage, “Are you okay?”

“Why the fuck would I not be?” Aoi snapped, turning the page of his notebook hard enough that Kai swore he heard it tear.

“You know why…” Kai sighed, his eyes becoming heavy.

 

*

 

Aoi didn’t have to answer to anyone, let alone Kai. Let him think what he wants, it doesn’t matter. Sneaking a glance at the junkie, Aoi noticed that he had already passed out. Sticking a finger underneath Kai’s nose, Aoi realized that he was still breathing. Good enough for him.

Back to his accounting book, Aoi was becoming increasingly unsettled at the debt that he owed. All of his favors to Kai were coming to bite him back in the ass. On top of it all he had to keep getting notifications to his mobile, Uruha taking way to many photos and happy status updates. It was driving him to the point where he almost had unfriend him. But every time his thumb hovered over the button he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

His phone went off again, he groaned not wanting to see another update to Uruha’s fabulous life without him. Instead, it was his mother.

_Only two more weeks until our annual family gathering! Hope to see everyone there this time!_

That last bit was directed towards him, Aoi hadn’t been in years he had lost count. He hardly kept contact with his family at all these days. It was for the better, the world he had created would only disappoint them further and bring harm.

Aoi looked over at Kai again, guilt surged through him at seeing his bruised face. This was exactly why Uruha wasn’t with him. Why the fuck did he always have to lose control? 

It was Kai’s fault, the bastard kept coming for more, like he was so desperate for attention he would take any abuse thrown at him. There for it wasn’t his problem, best to let the undeserved guilt subside. 

He just had to make sure that Kai didn’t die on his bed. Great another thing to add to his do list. 

Don’t let the junkie die. Check. For now.

First thing in the morning he had to do some rounds on the streets to see if he could make a bit of cash. His regular customers were becoming less and less, probably having to do with the cops showing up to his house thanks to Uruha’s psychotic boyfriend. Sorry, fiancé. 

Not to mention he had that hospital bill to pay off as well. Somehow he would have to actually start charging Kai for the drugs he took. Sex was nice and all but it didn’t pay his debt. 

After hours of staring at his book, he realized that there was no way he could pay off the money he owed unless he did something big. Perhaps robbing a bank…or pimping out Kai. Either way, he had a deadline of a month to get over 6,000,000 yen.

Aoi would deal with it all tomorrow, he packed a small bowl of weed and lit it up. Never did he do the hard stuff, just a little something to help him sleep at night. Instead of worrying about what the next day would bring.

Covering up Kai with the blanket Aoi settled himself in, putting his pipe aside. Willing himself to sleep.

 

*

 

The news about Reita had really taken a toll on him. Kai couldn’t even find enough energy to make it out of bed. He could tell that Aoi was getting annoyed with him but he didn’t care at all. Lately, he didn’t really care about anything.

Secretly he hoped that the drug would take him away, yet he was still here. And he had no idea why.

“You could at least make yourself useful,” Aoi came in the bedroom, rummaging through the piles of clothes on the floor while completely naked, his skin still wet from the shower. “Do the dishes or something.”

Kai smirked, his eyes still heavy, “How about the laundry instead?”

Finally finding what Aoi thought to be suitable clothes, he looked up, “Thanks for volunteering.” 

“Where are you going?”

“Going to try and make some money,” Aoi tugged on his boots and grabbed his phone off the table.

“Okay,” Kai looked away, “I can help.”

When Aoi laughed, Kai sighed and leaned forward, willing his legs off the bed to settle on the floor. Out of everything, he mostly didn’t want Aoi to leave him alone. “No thanks, sweetheart. You stay here and dope up.”

“Planned on it since you messed up my face,” Kai snapped at him, Aoi stopped from walking out the door, and looked back at him but then left after saying nothing.

The pains in his body had become not bothersome as Kai started to get used to it. He wondered what Reita would think of him now? Too many thoughts went through his mind, thinking about what would have happened if he had never left. The best thing he could do was to forget about Reita.

Of course that would never be easy, or happen for that matter. Perhaps over time, him and Aoi could heal their wounds together. He was such a sap that would never happen. Aoi was hardly the man to spend the rest of his days with. He was sure Aoi thought the same about him.

It was a shit situation that Kai had put himself in. No sense in complaining about it constantly in his head. 

Today he would do the laundry though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So obviously, this isn't the end :3  
> Super sleep deprived, sorry for mistakes.  
> After one year, it's over ;__;


End file.
